my head is a mess!!!

[zanDark]

OH and I decided to wait until september and just go straight for IVF since the failed IUI's I had hit me hard

the thing is that every time I have a failed IUI I say "never again"...then after a while I can't help but think what if the next one actually works?!

The other reason that I didn't want to do an IUI after the last time was because my MIL is friends with the doctor that passed on his practice to the doctor I'm seeing...and she suspected something was up and asked him about it since I hadn't said anything to anyone because I didn't want anyone to know!! Her doctor friend in turn asked my doc how I was doing so he said that we'd just done our second IUI...not only did she find out...but after I got AF she told me she knew ffs if I wanted her to know I would have told her!!!

If OH and I decide to go for another IUI then I'll have to have a tough conversation with the doc and tell him to keep it quiet even tho MIL got the other doctor to ask sneakily...I'll also have to figure out a way to not have another melt down if this IUI fails too!

I'm so confused AF is around the corner and I'm driving myself insane about what to do!! should I go for another IUI? should I stick to my original plan and just take the summer off to have fun and stop thinking about TTC?? Is it really that easy to stop thinking about it??

I'm not expecting any replies...just needed to rant and get these thoughts out of my head...if you do reply feel free to tell me I'm a rambling idiot LOL

 

[readyformore]

Sorry hun. That's a tough place to be. I knew after my third failed IUI that I was done. I just can't tolerate the hard work and repeated disappointment anymore. If it had a more that 20% success rate, I might do more. But, for me, it's a tremendous amount of effort with very little chance. And even with only 20%, I still got my hopes up unbelievable high each time. I cried during my last IUI and when I left the building. I knew I was done and couldn't do it anymore.

In the USA, it's illegal for a doctor to speak about your medical care to someone that is not involved in your care. I would be really mad if that had happened to me.

Good luck with the IVF, if that's what you decide to do.

 

[zanDark]

Unfortunately IUIs are a tremendous amount of effort and very expensive here!! I keep trying to tell myself that the chances are exactly the same as just DTD on our own...and it's not worth it because I'm just going to get my hopes up and pump myself full of medication for nothing it's just frustrating feeling this helplessness! just writing it out helped me get my thoughts in order a bit and I understand that stopping the IUI's is the way to go...I just don't know how to get it all out of my head until September!

It's illegal here too for doctors to discuss medical care with random people, but technically he told another doctor who was supposedly "checking up" on me I'm more annoyed at MIL who feels that she has the right to know absolutely everything, and we've already decided that when we go for IVF we're going to another doctor even tho we like this one.

OH was pissed at her and the doctors...but he understands that she was just worried about us

are you planning on going for IVF too now that you've decided to stop torturing yourself with IUIs??

 

[uwa_amanda]

Unfortunately IUIs are a tremendous amount of effort and very expensive here!! I keep trying to tell myself that the chances are exactly the same as just DTD on our own...and it's not worth it because I'm just going to get my hopes up and pump myself full of medication for nothing it's just frustrating feeling this helplessness! just writing it out helped me get my thoughts in order a bit and I understand that stopping the IUI's is the way to go...I just don't know how to get it all out of my head until September!

It's illegal here too for doctors to discuss medical care with random people, but technically he told another doctor who was supposedly "checking up" on me I'm more annoyed at MIL who feels that she has the right to know absolutely everything, and we've already decided that when we go for IVF we're going to another doctor even tho we like this one.

OH was pissed at her and the doctors...but he understands that she was just worried about us

are you planning on going for IVF too now that you've decided to stop torturing yourself with IUIs??

That's what bugs me about some family members that I have read about. They seem to think that because they're family, they have a right to know what is going on and are in everybody's business. Hopefully, you'll be able to clear your mind by September and I pray that your IVF works for you the first time!

 

[zanDark]

Thank you sweetie!

She and FIL loooooooooooove meddling!! We live in a three story building with them on the ground floor and SIL on the first...they seriously give me the impression that they think we're all little kids playing house in our homes above them

I think that the fact that I've set really obvious boundaries since day 1 just makes her want to find ways to bypass them to mess with my head and then say "oh I only did it because I care!"

I could seriously write PAGES about how controlling she is with her daughter and her husband...and how annoyed she is that OH and I just can't be controlled

I even told her that we're going for IVF in January...I just don't want her knowing about what we're up to!!

 

[uwa_amanda]

My DH's grandmother actually told us last summer, "I'm family, I'm supposed to know." She can be the world's worst about meddling. I told my DH that if we tell her anything, it won't be much.

 

[readyformore]

Unfortunately IUIs are a tremendous amount of effort and very expensive here!! I keep trying to tell myself that the chances are exactly the same as just DTD on our own...and it's not worth it because I'm just going to get my hopes up and pump myself full of medication for nothing it's just frustrating feeling this helplessness! just writing it out helped me get my thoughts in order a bit and I understand that stopping the IUI's is the way to go...I just don't know how to get it all out of my head until September!

It's illegal here too for doctors to discuss medical care with random people, but technically he told another doctor who was supposedly "checking up" on me I'm more annoyed at MIL who feels that she has the right to know absolutely everything, and we've already decided that when we go for IVF we're going to another doctor even tho we like this one.

OH was pissed at her and the doctors...but he understands that she was just worried about us

are you planning on going for IVF too now that you've decided to stop torturing yourself with IUIs??

No. Ivf isn't for us at this point in our lives. I am actually thinking of going the opposite extreme and prevent for a few months. I need a break from the sadness.

 

[zanDark]

No. Ivf isn't for us at this point in our lives. I am actually thinking of going the opposite extreme and prevent for a few months. I need a break from the sadness.

we all need a break after a while

I'm keeping all you ladies in my prayers and thoughts in hope that we all get our BFPs...and for us to just not be sad about it until we do!

 

[Mummy2B21]

Hi hun i was ttc for 4 years before i fell pregnant and it was only once i stopped trying it happened!! I completely stopped, stopped thinking about it and stopped stressing and suprise suprise i got a bfp i coupdnt believe it. I would go with stop ttc for a bit relax your mind x

 

[ourfate]

i did one IUI, and am now taking a break till Jan, i have been a NUT case, emotional wreck, and money was tight, at first it was hard, but i have never felt better! do whatever your heart tells you! fx