My kid just said....

[noon_child]

....that she thought her thighs looked fat! She is 6. She wasn't upset by it but I was! I'm so careful not to criticise my body shape in front of her, emphasise strength and health etc. And she comes out with this. I asked her what she meant and she said "oh not the good fat that we need, like from fish but like when teenagers say they look fat". When is she hearing this? When do we ever spend time with teenagers?

 

[HelenJane]

No idea where they hear these things from. If not school then TV?
We are going through similar with my daughter but it's more the emotional side. If she does something and we then tell her not to do it she says "nobody even likes me" and she thinks shes not good, she's got no friends etc.
She's never said anything like this until recently. We only ever have kids tv on when they are around so i know she hasn't learned it from there.
Personally i think its from a friend at school, she's seen someone say something similar i imagine.

As they grow up they are going to hear stuff we don't want them too, we have no control over this, all we can do is promote positive body image, positive and kind ways of thinking and reassurance to our children and let them make their own minds up.
They are more likely to listen to us now than when they are teenagers themselves

 

[LaughOutLoud]

My child picks up things from school. May be she heard other children or the telly?

 

[noon_child]

She says it's from hearing teenagers in the town centre. We hardly ever go so it must have been one occasion that has stuck in her mind! It isn't TV because she only watches Nick Jnr or CBeebies and they wouldn't have someone saying they thought they were fat on any of those shows I don't think. I hate our society that we base so much of our value on appearance.

Helen Jane - it's horrible when they think they are "bad" isn't it. I always try to encourage a growth mindset type perspective "You aren't bad, but you just made the wrong choice this time. Next time you could make a different choice. What might you do next time instead?" and then lots of praise around coming up with a different way of thinking or doing. It doesn't stop the strop if they are just intent on stropping but I think it's a good blue print for so many interactions.

 

[storm4mozza]

....that she thought her thighs looked fat! She is 6. She wasn't upset by it but I was! I'm so careful not to criticise my body shape in front of her, emphasise strength and health etc. And she comes out with this. I asked her what she meant and she said "oh not the good fat that we need, like from fish but like when teenagers say they look fat". When is she hearing this? When do we ever spend time with teenagers?

My Daughter (who is 4) shouted the other day 'Mommy I don't like black men' I jumped straight to conclusions wondering where she heard it from (as we are far from racist), I calmly spoke to her and found out that she said it because she had a nightmare where a man (this particular man was black) had hurt her.

It took everything I had not to keep talking about it to her and find out what happened , she slowly opened up to me.

Secondly my daughter has also come up to me (recently) and said 'Mommy I am ugly!' again I felt like jumping at her to ask her what on earth made her say that, again turns out that someone had called themselves ugly at school and my daughter thought that it was a nice thing not realising what she had said.

f*ck off (Son who is also 6 heard it on bus kept saying it)

My point is kids hear things anywhere, the shop, the supermarket, in the street, bus, public toilets. on the TV, on the radio.... kids hear things anywhere (which I have learned the hard way) just because us parents don't listen to everything around us, it's strange how much little kids listen to the things around them and how much they take in.

 

[SophiasMummy]

School is where rhey pick up most things my 6 year kept going on about being fat for ages ( she's super skinny and tall) eventually found out the boys newest 'mean thing' to say to people was they're fat. I told her she's not fat and has never been fat, but whether someone is big or small they're still beautiful.