my mom doesn't like any of my choices...

[readyforbaby]

for a girl.

Today she actually told me she hopes it is a boy in there and I said "so you wish for your grandchild to be a boy based on my name options...?" and she goes "yes, I do", and seriously at that. I can't believe it. I got off the phone and started crying... those dear hormones, lol.

My latest "possibilities" included:

Scarlett - she can't stand this name (so I mentioned maybe using Charlotte instead to which she just said "yuck")

Willow- She thinks this is too "hippy"

Maeve - this one she is ok with but I am not sold on as hubby's name is Dave and I don't like Dave and Maeve, otherwise, cute name.

I've also mentioned...

Caroline - she doesn't like

Eleanor- she thinks is too old lady, even with the cute nn's

Eliza- she isn't a fan

Uma- she hates

I know it ultimately isn't up to her but I am really bothered that she is so critical of the options I have been searching long and hard to like.

She likes...
Ruby, Addison, Isabel, Olivia and some other pretty but trendy names...

She doesn't understand the growing popularity of the names makes me shy from them, also, other friends/people I know have children with those names. I love Ruby but it sounds horrible with our last name and even she admitted it might be be the best flow.

The names we both like so far:
Maeve, Lola, Maris

We have to use Rose (family name) as a middle name for a girl but can possibly go with 2 middle names Eliza Rose or Elizabeth Rose...

any ideas or suggestions. I would love to hear new options as I feel I have exhausted my baby name books and am looking for some new options.

Why does this have to be so difficult...?

Thanks in advance!

 

[nightkd]

Hun, I would just stop talking to her about the names... If she is going to be critical and make you feel bad, is it worth it?

My mum can be pretty selfish in that way too - current case is that she was planning to come over a couple of weeks (if that!) after the baby arrives and I told her we just want some time to adjust and be a family! So she plans to come over a couple of months later...clashing with DH's birthday, which is another thing we'd just like to spend as a family...she's basically making me feel guilty for that and like I'm rejecting her...WTF? Anyway, point being I just told her outright that it was our choice to spend some time as a family and she basically has to deal with it... I still feel crappy (don't like to argue, especially as she lives in the UK and I'm in the US now...so I rarely see her) but it's MY baby and that time is important!! Just as the choice of name is important! YOU and OH have to like it, no-one else's opinions matter.

I've basically had to stop discussing my birth plans with certain people now too, because I'm planning something 'out of the ordinary' and people are ruining my confidence with negative comments

Sometimes, you just have to decide to make the decision yourself and keep it a secret, if people can't make positive comments and support you!!

How about Jocelyn, Elsa, Lily, Tabitha, Rosaline (obviously wouldn't fit with Rose very well, but could be an alternative to using Rose as a middle name?) Elise, Cara.... Just a handful of suggestions!

P.S What's wrong with Charlotte? (My name!)

 

[RubyRainbows]

My mom gave me a really hard time, too. As much as a adamantly stated that it was my baby & my decision... secretly i really wanted a name that she loved as much as me! It makes it really hard bc different generations have different views on names & don't understand current name trends & whatnot. Plus they haven't extensively researched every name in the world... like we have! Ha!

I really like a lot of names on your (and your mom's) list: Ruby, Willow, Scarlett, Charlotte, Addison.

How about:

Instead of Eliza -- you go with Elizabeth (nn Libby maybe?)
Instead of Eleanor -- Eliana (nn Ellie or Ella)

Some other random suugestions:

Lucy
Ashlyn
Kaylin
Rosalie (nn Rosie) -- instead of mn Rose?
Juliet
Sophia
Robyn
Madelyn
Bria
Gianna
Emma
Gracie

I also like some of the names NightKD suggested: Lilly, Tabitha, Jocelyn

 

[RubyRainbows]

How about Avery? I love that name...

 

[Elphaba]

Nig hugs.

I think your names are really pretty. The only people I've mentioned possibly names to (other than DH) are people on this forum for exactly this reason. I know that my mum in particular would not be backwards in coming forwards with her opinion!

I'm hoping that once the name is attached to a real live baby and is definite, people will be less likely to comment!

 

[myasmumma]

i agree with one of the other girls dont mention names to her, its your baby your choice on what you call your baby if she hates it so what its not affecting her in anyway she is just being a very selfish lady

 

[lauren10]

Oh my goodness, stop running them by her! This is why lots of people don't share the name until the baby is born. Because once it's set in stone, no one can say anything.

About 5 years ago I would have cared what my mom thought, but I don't now (as much as I love her). I know she didn't like the boy name we picked out, but I could care less! And even though she likes our girl name (and we're having a girl) she still comes up with alternate "suggestions" - and I just tell her we're not entertaining suggestions so she's wasting her time thinking of names! Be strong...it's YOUR child, and you have to be happy with the name.

 

[bunnyg82]

PLease just stop telling her the names. Decide between yourselves which one you are happy with and once your baby is here, if it turns out to be a girl, you can then announce the name you've chosen. It's too late then! Or if needs be, don't announce the name till you've gone and got her birth certificate - really too late then!!

People will always have an opinion - you have to be strong in your choice and don't back down once you've decided xx

 

[LucyC2804]

Im having exactly the same problems with both my mum and mum in law.... my favourite boys name is Casper, and both of them hate it. Even going as far to say that my child will be bullied because of it, that its girly etc etc....

Its really getting me down, so much so that my OH put his foot down and told them both that its our baby, and we will call it whatever we want, regardless of what they think....

But now i do feel a tension with my mum, like ive really p*ssed her off over this, but i dont feel like i have anything to apologise for?!?! for example, shes now got the arse with me because we have bought our own moses basket, and not borrowed one from her friend... (that hasnt been used for 12 years!!!!)

Im glad i dont seem to be the only one in this situation....

 

[aimee_1691]

hey hun.
no offence but its not your mothers choice, i no u want her to like the name you give to your child but its up to you and FOB.
those are beautiful names and i dnt see why you should change what you like to suit other people, you have to go through pregnancy and labour so its your right to name your baby what the hell you like! xx

 

[Iris]

-

 

[readyforbaby]

Thank you for all the feedback. I guess I will just have to deal with the possibility of hearing her distaste in a name we have chosen and have to be strong enough to get past that.

I have tried telling her she will love the baby no matter what but she goes past that (while agreeing) and goes on to mention what she does and doesn't like. I think you are right and the best bet is just to quit sharing our choices.

It is hard enough finding something that flows well, we both like, etc. And thank you for the name suggestions. If you have anymore, feel free to share!

love you ladies!

 

[ohmisslizzie]

I could have written this thread. I have decided I just am going to have to take her opinion with a grain of salt. Many of our names are the same too, Caroline, Ruby, I had decided on Eliza Rose- but changed yesterday to Sadie Elizabeth, its so frustrating when you think you have a great name and then you talk to your mom...Lola was one of our names too but that was a no go with DH and my mom

 

[RubyRainbows]

Some more suggestions --

Eva
Mabel
Violet
Mya
Hazel

 

[MUMOF5]

I had the same problems, but it was with MIL , she hated every name we said, to the point where we stopped telling her. She doesnt like Daisy and she doesnt like her middle names either - Madeleine & May , (despite them being my nans names). I didnt care in the end whether she liked them or not because I got so p***ed off with her. At the end of the day your mum had a chance to name her baby girl, now its your turn to name your baby girl!

By the way I LOVE Lola Rose (that is one of my favourite names) and I also recently really like the name Eliza . xx

 

[readyforbaby]

I thought of another option. Estella. My husband likes the nn Ella but isn't sure on Eleanor. We could also use it for Eliza. I think Esi though (pronounced like oz with an E at the beginning and end) is adorable - Esi Rose I would likely want to call her. My mom thinks it sounds "too mexican"...? lol. I reminded her that Isabella and Lola are as well. Oh well, if my husband is on board with this one, I am definitely putting it on the list. Plus the star meaning is sweet.

I think my mom needs to get out of her box and will have to deal with it. And no more sharing with her!! If she would prefer to have me have to keep things to myself because of her negativity maybe she'll get the point!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Estella nn Ella -- is gorgeous! Makes me think of the beautiful girl from the book Great Expectations!

 

[Annabobble]

It's so sad that parents can't just let us get on with it, when we told MIL that I was pregnant she asked me not to call it any silly names?! Whatever that means, whatever we decide to call the 'pod' (that's it's name at the moment) is up to us. Why don't you just humour her and agree and say things like 'yes that's a nice name' etc....then when baby arrives, she won't be there to name it...it'll be up to YOU!!!

 

[scottishgal89]

sorry but what you said made me really mad!!
it has nothing to do with your mum! its YOUR baby.
i never told my mum my final choice until after sophie was born.

i like- Scarlet Willow together!!

 

[readyforbaby]

Scottish Gal - thanks, and I love your daughter's name, Sophie. I have that one on my personal list too! Husband on on the fence with it though. I will tell you one thing... I won't let my mom tell me it isn't absolutely adorable!