My Mother-in-law wants to be pregnant with me!!!

[Clara006]

Maybe it's the growing hormones, but I need to vent and you ladies are my only safe place!

My mother-in-law has 9 grandchildren (5 in which are mine and her son's) and she was just remarried this past year. I found out I was pregnant again a few days ago and that same afternoon she sent me a text message saying, "Don't call moma tonight...the stick (ovulation test) has a smiley face!"
I am trying to be ok with her and her new husband trying for a child of their own, but I am having a hard time with it. She has two grown children, both nearing 30. My husband and I are a bit freaked out by being pregnant along side his mother. We feel like our children will lose their "Mimi" and our new baby will be completely over shadowed. We really are sick to our stomachs about this, almost wishing that we hadn't gotten pregnant right now. Isn't that horrible? I know I shouldn't feel this way.

 

[iluvmyfamily]

I can understand why you and DH feel the way you do but try not to let it get to you. I mean, you knew how happy you felt when you got pregnant and I'm sure she wants to be pregnant too, otherwise she wouldn't be trying, and she deserves to be happy as well. It may look and sound a little off the wall for your mother in law to be having a baby when you're having a baby but honestly, think of it as a big family. That's always nice to have. If my mom told me she was pregnant right now or even my mom in law, I'd be thrilled to be able to go through it with someone SO close. I have never had that before, my bff is pregnant but she lives 90 miles away. It's just not the same as having someone close by to you. I know there's a big age gap between you and your mom in law but when it comes to pregnancy, it's practically all the same. I understand she's a Grandma to so many kids but maybe she wants to have a baby with the man she just married and she should be able to. I would just let it go and see how things go. You should also voice your feelings to her and tell her you're afraid the new baby will be overshadowed if she becomes pregnant. I'm sure it's gonna work out.

 

[Hope83]

Sorry I don't have much advise but wanted to send you a big
I'm sure things will work out. If you don't mind me asking, how old is your mil?

 

[Clara006]

Sorry I don't have much advise but wanted to send you a big
I'm sure things will work out. If you don't mind me asking, how old is your mil?

I believe she is 46 (she had her 1st daughter very young)

 

[kassiaethne]

eh I'd say be the bigger person and just be happy for her because if she wants a baby she wants a baby....but yeah the timming of it and such seems to suck the thunder right out of your pregnancy...So feel as wierd about it as you need to, would freak me out too. Heck I don't even know why she told you about Oing...I'd have been all woman...TMI...TMI!!!!! I don't need to be picturing you and your man BDing at this exact moment. Let alone why you are.

I think if it wasn't a thing of jealousy and purely just wanting a baby to enlarge her family. she would have kept it to herself until she at least sure she was pregnant, then break the news. This way just seems to be wanting some of the attention she didn't realize she missed till she saw you pregnant and remembered how it was. Now shes having pangs of wanting it again too.

Would totally creep me out....but in the end she is 46 and it may take a while at her age to get pregnant anyways. So try not to dwell on the she's pregnant at the same time as me until it actually happens. and maybe with time you'll be able to forgive her for the thunder stealing and just learn to adapt by the time she's pregnant. But yeah if I were you I would insta send a TMI message back that you don't wanna be hearing about the TTC details

 

[kassiaethne]

damn now you have me all thinking hard about how I would feel about it being done to me. and making me all panic wanting to call my dad to be sure my mom isn't doing something like this!!

 

[trythisagain]

I agree with kassiaethne...its a battle you simply can't win...because if she wants to have a baby...she will. If you can't beat em...you mise well join em!!
It likely is some kind of jealousy thing...or just a pure cry for some spotlight action. I know if it was my mil Id make it loud and clear that I don't want to even know she and her SO even dtd. Let alone are TTC. Maybe she is just looking for a reaction??
You totally have every right and a completely valid reason to think the way you do. I'm sure your SO isn't thrilled about having a new baby sibling at his age (whatever that may be...) its likely extremely awkward for him too!!!
I really wish there was something more I could say but I know my parents are long done having children...and DHs parents are too old...(his dad remarried and had children much later in life with DHs mom.
Good luck and stay positive. This is still your time to shine!!!

 

[HappyBump25]

Well, at 46 it may be very hard (if not impossible) for her to even get pregnant. I'm not trying to be negative, but age definitely can make it a lot harder to conceive. So, while I see why you'd be put off, I really wouldn't worry myself too much for this main reason.

Also, I think that's VERY odd that she would basically text you to let you know that she's having sex. If you're anything like me, you would have had a pretty priceless look on your face after reading that!

 

[motherofboys]

Omg when I first started reading this I was picturing my MIL who is in her 70s pregnant! But your MIL is actually only 2 years older than my husband (I'm 26) I would be uncomfortable with the idea in your situation but there isn't much you can do other than to be honest that you don't really want to know ALL the details. As someone else said at her age it could take a while and you might give birth well before she even gets pregnant.

 

[Blosom]

Maybe its just me, but I wouldn't be that weirded at the fact that she wants to have another baby! Being pregnant at 46 and having a healthy baby is kind of a stretch anyways, but if it makes her and her husband happy go for it!

I WOULD however be totally weirded out at the fact she announced she is ovulating.. haha

 

[maybebaby3]

At 46 its going to be difficult for her to get pregnant due to the quality of her eggs. My friend who's 40 has had 3 mc and been told her eggs are too old.

 

[Tammy77]

Not to be disrespectful to any women who are 46 and ttc (I'm sure that's a small pool though) but....

It's highly unlikely that she'll conceive. It IS creepy that she's txt you that though, ick! I'd be tempted to just ignore the txt. If you don't acknowledge the ttc, you're less likely to get updates. Also, I thought I read somewhere that opks aren't reliable for women nearing menopause (which is possible at her age). For perspective I looked it up. The chances of pregnancy are "at or less than 1%" unless she uses donor eggs. So yeah, don't give it a second thought, if they're able to pull off that big of a miracle, you can deal with it then! Oh and big congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[exoticsiren]

If she wants to be happy im sure everything will be ok

 

[Clara006]

My husband had a talk with her this morning about the characteristics of a "lady" and keeping her sexual life private.
Unfortunately for us, I miscarried this morning around 4 am. My midwife came over to do some blood work, but she isn't hopeful for this pregnancy. I am heartbroken, as is my husband. I understand I sound selfish, but the last thing I want to hear right now is that she is pregnant..

Thank you for all the love and warmth!

 

[kassiaethne]

Awe im so sorry to hear the bad news. Lots of

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. I can't believe it.

 

[laila 44]

Holy crap that is weird. Isn't she a bit too old to want to do that again? I would worry for baby's sake...

 

[laila 44]

Omg Hun I'm so sorry I just read the post hugs to you xx

 

[lynnikins]

so sorry for you hun,

my Mum told me she MC about a month after I MC the year i fell pregnant with DS1, I told her plain and straight I didnt want another sibling I wanted my children to have a Nana they didnt need a Auntie or Uncle the same age as them, and I pointed it out to her that she would have to consider which of us her current children would be left to raise said baby if they were both to pass on? considering all of us were living in different countires to Mum and Dad at that point

 

[HappyBump25]

I'm so sorry to hear this hon. Hope the best for you!