Need advice please on boob or bottle

[Anna Barry]

Neave is now 36 weeks gestation she has been having a few attempts on the boob and usually last 15 mins, not sure how much she is getting and very difficult to know if she is sucking hard enough!!! Should i try her on the bottle so i can see how much she is getting so she can practice swallowing or will this confuse her. I def want her to have my milk but really really really confused on what i should do i have asked the nurses and they just say its up to me!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Marleysgirl]

I was really encouraged to offer the breast as Andrew had been on EBM all along. Despite a number of sessions with the BF advisor when we were told we were doing it right, Andrew wouldn't stay latched on. I spent a very upsetting night, rooming in, trying to get BF established, and having to watch him be tube-fed in the morning to supplement as he'd hardly fed. The nurses were still insisting we try, as if they had a "target" to reach. Feeding was the only thing keeping him in ...

So, with the backing of my family but not the professionals, I tried bottle-feeding EBM ... and he took to it immediately. No stress for him or me. I roomed in again, and it was a dream. He came home two days later, when he'd fed successfully consistently - and he'd pulled his own NGT out!

After coming home, I tried him on the breast once a day for 3 weeks, but he never did get comfortable enough to latch for a whole meal. We gave up as the stress was not worth the benefit - he was still getting breastmilk, just in a less conventional way.

I chatted to another mum in our NICU and she too felt pressured into BF when her baby wasn't taking to it, so when I left, I encouraged her to see the benefit of EBM by bottle ... I wonder how she got on.

 

[bumpsmum]

Id request a BF counsellor hun.

Like Marleysgirl the only thing stopping Matthew coming home was feeding consistently. I tried and tried BF when he was about 4 days old (was getting EBM via NG tube) he latched and fed for a bit but it really wore him out and could not be sure how much he got so used to supplement milk through his tube after a BF. To get out of hosp I was told he needed to feed 1 way or another and not a bit of both, so ended up bottle feeding him EMB and continued pumping. It was my HV who helped me re-establish BF as pumping whilst bottle feeding was such hard work I tuley applaud those who managed it long term! i BF for 10 weeks and then weaned him to formula (althout with hindsight was prob the PND kicking in) I was so stressed I stopped and so far this has been the ONLY thing I regretted. If its truly what you want to do stick to your guns and keep persevering xx

 

[Laura2919]

I didnt want to breastfeed from the off because i had this terrible fear that I would be useless and have two screaming babies beside me but I did express and to take off the pressure I expressed and in between they had Aptamil. Then when they were moved back up to a local hospital the nurse that came up with Chloe forgot to drop off all my frozen milk and i was put under pressure and couldnt express near on what I was expressing so I just stopped. The girls were then moved onto Nutri-Prem2 where they would get all their vitamins and nutrients and I wouldnt have to feel so bad and this worked for us.

Until yesterday they were on it and I didnt pay a penny either because its not available to buy in shops, it is on prescription!!

I would say do what suits you and your daughter. If thats giving breasfeeding a go then go for it..

Hope you find a comfortable agreement xx

 

[AP]

I'm going to go against the grain.

I wanted formula feed eventually, I just wanted Alex to get the best start. We tried on the breast but at the rate alex was going we werent gonna get home anytime soon!
So for a while we fed her half ebm and half formula mixed in a bottle - she then got everything she needed from ebm with the added advantage of formula helping with weight gain.

 

[Anna Barry]

Thanks everyone, your all so helpful on here, i do feel quite pressured by the nurses to BF they have told me to persevere for a few more weeks and if no joy introduce the bottle, i have a feeling she will take to the bottle with ease and am worried that keep trying BF will delay me in hospital longer!!!! I really want her to have my milk and am happy to express but nurses have warned me that expressing milk to bottle will be hard challenge as my life will be expressing and feeding when i get LO home.
Although she did spend 15 min s on boob today im not sure that she is getting much, will try a bit longer it's good to know i'm not the only one that has faced this dilema, cheers guys.xxxxx

 

[Marleysgirl]

I would agree, expressing & bottle feeding is very time-consuming. We only manage it because my DH is currently home (awaiting an operation) and he does the majority of the feeds, leaving me free to pump.

If you do decide to feed EBM longterm, I would recommend a very good pump (double pumping will halve the time) and also wearing a special bra/halterneck that holds the breast shields in place, freeing up your hands. I've only recently got one of these, and it means that I can still attend to Andrew (as in playing with his hand or replacing his dummy) whilst pumping, I'm not completely immobile.

 

[bumpsmum]

I was in the exact same scenario hun, I more or less was giving him EBM with at least daily BF to try and see how he was progressing. I felt it would hold us back if he was not exclusivly BF so agreed to bottle feed (just didnt mention he was getting EBM instead of formula so we could get home). I re-established BF but still expressed twice daily or more so OH could feed him as I went to bed early, let him feed Matthew and I did night feeds as OH had to return to work and was up at 5am.

Please dont feel pressured either way it's really your decision and do what is more comfortable and convenient for you and your family.

Marlesygirl, I never knew about the top/bra thing that would have made life so much easier and I may have stuck with it longer, I used to pump and hand express the other boob at same time for quickness, awkward as hell and was always cautious of the window cleaner on his rounds haha x

 

[Anna Barry]

Wow i'm def gonna purchase one of those bra's where do you get them from, fantastic!!!!!

 

[Fiestagal]

I was lucky that Connor managed to feed from me directly from day 3 (he was 2lb 11 1/2 but was 35 weeks gest), I had the pressure to bottle feed ebm when I wasn't there. Eventually I let them, he'd been cup fed until then if I'd gone home. The bottle really confused him as it was easier and he'd fuss when back on me. A lovely nurse told me to say I only wanted cup feeding if I was sure that I did want to bf. She said some staff encourage bottle feeding as it is easier for them to do rather than cup feed. We went back to cup feeding and direct bf and things improved. I'm sure in our earlier days he only fed for 10 minutes at a time. We would always count down to weigh in days so we could check his progress.

We did introduce bottle of ebm when he was home after 5 weeks of age and he didn't get confused this time, he happily swaps between them now.

 

[alibaba24]

Iv just had to make a similar decision, I was a bit upset about how the mw spoke to me about it she was quite snipey and kept repeating if i want her bf i HAVE TO BE HERE i tried to explain i couldnt get up every 3 hours in the middle of the night if i wasnt allowed to drive and relying on lifts etc But she just kinda looked at me like id grown horns so yesterday i decided to take control about the decision rather than let her push me into bf i explained to her my main concern was for Rosalie to get breast milk so try her with a bottle and see how she goes that way! Once i sounded like i knew what i wanted the mw has been nice as pie Shes doing great with a bottle so far slowly but surely but shes getting the idea. Also means i dont have the guilt of not being able to get there at every single feed. Bf would be lovely but i worked out for me it just wasnt going to be practical whilst shes in special care. Different if i could drive myself up even then id be exhausted probably getting an hours sleep between feeds if i was lucky. I just worked out it was best for my circumstances. And if i cant keep up with the expressing formula feeding wouldnt be the end of the world Shes had the best start with bm so im happy at that xxx

 

[AP]

I felt very bullied into it too I was getting myself down and upset. One day I just had enough and told them I wasn't doing it anymore and I wasnt upsetting myself.

We were very proud of Alex's progress from there, and OH went to wash his hands when he bumped into another mum, who was still pushing on with BF.

He told her Alex was having a bottle of BM & formula, to which she cheekily replied "Each to their own, eh?" As if we were doing something flippin criminal in her eyes.

 

[Anna Barry]

Glad i,m not the only one!!!! I started her on the bottle last week and she drank her full feed straight away,i also find it easier as less pressure to be there every feed. I too think that the most important thing is that she gets my milk. She has been doing really well and is now mostly on the bottle in the day and alternates bottle and tube at night. Thanks for all your help everyone.xx

 

[Marleysgirl]

Wow i'm def gonna purchase one of those bra's where do you get them from, fantastic!!!!!

I just googled "express breast halterneck" and this site came up, but there are other sites. I actually got my bra second-hand from a good friend who had started out expressing but then managed to establish BF after 8 weeks of perseverance.

I find it interesting to read how many of us felt "pressured" into trying to BF. I suspect we all started with good intentions, and sought appropriate support. The midwives see it as their role to encourage this, even when we are feeling stressed and starting to think of switching, just to get our babies home. I personally would like to see a more practical attitude from the midwives, have them more attuned to our stress levels, and suggesting long-term expressing or switching to FF.

 

[Foogirl]

I'm really quite sad reading these stories. The only pressure I had to breastfeed was put on by me! I got worked up when it didn't seem to be working. There was never any pressure from the staff - but then I kicked off about her being given formula twice so I have no idea how they would have reacted if I had said I didn't want to.

The other thing that strikes me is the inconsistency. Stirling were very clear, nipple confusion is a myth and giving them bottles does not mean they won't breastfeed. All the BF babies were given bottles when mum wasn't there and BF when she was. There was no pressure put on me to be there for every feed. I took it upon myself to do it for 3 or 4 days during the day, before she came home. After all, it is unworkable for a mother to be there 24/7 unless they provide accommodation - or live just down the road. But on 3 hour feeds and an hour round trip, it would have been unsafe for me to drive that road 8 times a day on an hours sleep at a time. As a result, Abby came home as a mixed feeder. She was breastfed mostly but she took EBM through a bottle which gave so much flexibility, it was great.

Anna, I agree that in the beginning, bottles are great for judging what she is actually taking. One of the most difficult things was knowing she was getting enough. But again, Stirling was great. They would ask how I thought she had done then decide whether just to top her up by tube (or bottle) or give her a full feed.

One other thing, have you tried a nipple shield? I was really struggling and resisted using them despite repeatedly being told it might help. As soon as I did, Abby took to BF like a duck to water. I think it was easier for her to stay on as she didn't have to get the nipple into exactly the right position and she seemed to get less tired. It only took about a month of her being home to wean her off using it. I used the Avent ones as all others she sucked right off me!

Don't be afraid to stand up for what you want to do.

Wow i'm def gonna purchase one of those bra's where do you get them from, fantastic!!!!!

I took an old bra and cut holes in it - worked just as well! Please note though - don't dance around the kitchen whilst pumping, it will spill....

 

[Dona]

I never intended to BF as I can't even touch my boobs. Very prudish about them. Then when Archie was born I had a nurse push the breast pump and machine under my nose whilst sitting at his incubator. I was really embarrassed. She never even offered to get a screen unlike future nurses did. I felt sick but I knew I had to get the boob and milk out for Archie's sake. I became a really good cow and could have fed the entire nursery. But I decided to stop when he was 6 weeks old. I had had enough and there was tons of milk in the freezer that did right up to his final week. I had a few nurses pressurising me to BF and I told them NO WAY MAN! LOL. Well it went a bit like that. Archie got his boobie milk along with 50% formula. He got the best of best words and we got him home earlier! I have since found out that the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary only promotes BF to get them extra "points' which gives them extra funds. Cheeky or what!

 

[CazH]

I hate all this Breast is Best and if you offer formula you are a bad mother. I think the main thing our special babies need is the knowledge of how much they are getting and to grow bigger. I did bf whilst Freddy was in the unnit but became real worried as only got about 5ozs max from both boobs. I think the stress of looking after your little one and not bein able to hold them all the time effects your milk flow.

Eventually when freddy got home i topped him up with a few ozs of Nutri Prem 2 then after hrs of feeding breast then bottle decided to solely feed him on special formula to get him as big and strong as posible!