Need Advice Really Bad!! Don't know what to do!!

[Jenn2722]

My son is 7 years old and has never met his real father.. But after getting ahold of his father, he said he wants to give up rights to my son.. And he asked if my Fiance would take over rights!! I have gotten approved by Legal Aid, and have any interview tomorrow!! I'm soo nervous and don't have really any support, that has gone through this.. I mean this is what I have been dreaming for.. And it is finally happening.. It seems kinda taboo for me.. My fiance doesn't think it will happen.. But my son's father said he will pay back child support but regular child support needs to stop or he isnt' doing it.. Trying to control me once again!! And then he thinks I'm gonna stay in contact with him.. Send him pictures of my son and be social with him!! Yeah Right!! He is a fool if he thinks that is gonna happen!! I was just curious if anybody has gone through this or going through this right now!! Some women support would be soo awesome.. Cause then I can get some answers solved...

 

[seoj]

First- if he says he's going to pay back child support, I'd assume you need to get that before he give up rights? Once he gives up parental rights, then (by law) you can't collect child support moving forward. Is it even worth struggling to get the back pay? If so- then take any legal action needed to get that first. Or at least find out if you can get that even after he's given up rights (I'm sure it depends on the laws in your area). A friend of mine had her husband adopt her daughter- but the bio-dad was absent for years, and never paid support- so they had to post a legal document stating what they wanted, and long as it wasn't debated, they got to have him adopt her daughter. Which is wasn't since they didn't know where the bio-dad was anyway.

I'd have LOVED to adopt my SD if I could. But her bio- mom still had/has some minimal visitation, and she'd never have given up her rights (even though she treated her daughter like an after thought)- long story though.

I'd get some legal counsel to see what you can do- then go from there. Although you'll prob get most answers at the interview. Might just be best to have him give up rights-- sad that is the case, but at least he is doing what is best for your LO (even if it's not with the best intentions). Best of luck hun!

 

[Jenn2722]

Thank you for replying! I never thought he would do this! I'm glad he is though, but he blames me for not seeing his son! I don't know what court papers I would need to get back child support! He said he couldn't do a lump sum, and I'm not comfortable with him making little payments! I just think he will try to get out of it! Don't trust him at all.. Been trying to get ahold of the court and no answer!

 

[Ali33]

Where are you located? Here in CA a man even if he signs away his rights still has to pay child support unless your fiance legally adopts your son. Also and please don't take offense but fuck him saying he still wants to you to send pics and stuff! Looks like he just doesn't want to own up to the financial side. Well I've got news for him, once he signs over his rights there is no way you have to send him anything!

 

[Jenn2722]

Where are you located? Here in CA a man even if he signs away his rights still has to pay child support unless your fiance legally adopts your son. Also and please don't take offense but fuck him saying he still wants to you to send pics and stuff! Looks like he just doesn't want to own up to the financial side. Well I've got news for him, once he signs over his rights there is no way you have to send him anything!

I'm located in Minesota! And I got my court papers to fill out yesterday and there is a section in the papers that asks how often you will send pictures, letters, or give visits.. I was like hell no, not gonna happen at all.. He is a deadbeat.. Great Sperm donor but that is about it.. And to top it off he is a stay home dad of 4!! But doesn't want to bother with my son!! Soo.. Fuck him!! All I want is back child support and then I'm done with him.. And he said he can't do a lump sum, wants to do payments.. I couldln't trust him then what makes him think I'm gonna trust him now!! After everything is final and he has no rights, I'm deleting him from EVERYTHING.. If I have to change my number, email address, and move I will..

 

[Ali33]

Good for you! My daughter is almost 11 and her spermdonor has never done a thing for her. He also has 4 kids he is living with, 2 are his, other 2 are his wife's. I am going through the child support thing now. I can't stand deadbeats!

 

[Jenn2722]

I think they should make it legal that if your a deadbeat women/man you should be fixed! I gotta stay friendly for the ex till everything is final and I got back child support! Which I'm gonna try to get the judge to pay a lump sum so he gets out of our life faster! It just kills me that I gotta stay friendly cause he don't deserve it!

 

[Ali33]

I know how you feel but get that money girl. Play the part until you get paid then cut contact. Sounds cold but men like that don't deserve any better..

 

[Jenn2722]

Ohh... I'm gonna get him for the last dime he has! Kinda interesting cause he don't work, so it makes me think who is paying the child support every month! Can't see his bitch doing it, she can't stand me! But that is okay she is having my sloppy seconds and if I remember correctly the sex is very boring! Same position whenever we had sex! Soo.. I'm thinkin he has his dad paying it.. And if that is the case, his dad forked out over 3000 to me about 4 years ago! Soo.. They have the money to pay me in full... Soo, I'm gonna get it full by court orders! I'm soo fucking him over, just like he did to me! When he made my son and I homeless 5 days before xmas! Can we say d-bag! And it has been pretty nice he hasn't texted me in 4 days, so maybe I can just get by these months like it is now!

 

[Ali33]

Let his chick keep that loser. Who wants to be with a man without a job? I hope they make his ass pay in full! Then you can just be done with his ass!

 

[Jenn2722]

It just makes him look even worse when he makes his bitch works 2 jobs to support her 4 kids and a loser like him! I would never be with a man that didn't work! I got a good man, let's me be a stay home mom, like I always dreamed of! Cause I missed my mom when she had to work! She missed out on sports, schools events, and everything else! And I'm not gonna let my son feel that! I want him to be proud that I'm there and losing my voice to cheer him on!

 

[Ali33]

Amen sister, I hear you there!

 

[Jenn2722]

That's what I'm hoping for!