Need some advice please

[Atom2010]

Hi everyone hope all is well

I split with my ex wife 2 years ago in 2008 and she tried to stop me seeing my daughter who is 6 around xmas time for no reason at all, i assume the new guy she started seeing didn't like the fact she had a child to someone else - anyways i had to start legal proceedings to get my access so that raged on until just 2 months ago where the order was made final and i got my daughter alot more than she was wanting, she wanted me to have 2 nights a fortnight but the judge gave me 5 so shes never been happy, always accusing me of things ( the usual ) now shes starting to say my daughters ill or has a virus and cannot come down every other weekend, is there anything i can do about this ? its really frustrating as i know theres nothing wrong with my child, shes exaggerating every little illness my daughter picks up.

Really mad but i want to go down the proper routes for the sake of my daughter.

Thanks

 

[LittleMadam]

Do you have a solicitor? If so, get in contact and have a letter sent out. You may need to take your ex back to court for preventing access. You may want to point out to your ex that if your LO is ill, you're than capable of handling it.

Best!

 

[Atom2010]

Hi yes i have a solicitor - she always does this just before a weekend when i cant get an appointment with my lawyer until next week..

Thanks

 

[LittleMadam]

Atom,

Every time she does it, document it! As well as the solicitor, contact social services and see what they say. After all, she is breaking a court agreement.

Kudos to you for taking an interest.

Best!

 

[billy2mm]

i agree with littlemadam - document it and get back in touch with your solicitor.

say you can easily hand a child with a cold or whatever but if she really is too ill to come stay at yours say you will go to hers so you can spend the day looking after lo so your ex can go out and do the supermarket shop or whatever and lo can rest. by the sound of it she wouldnt agree to it but at least you are trying to find a way to spend time with lo and it will look all the better in court when you get back as you more than likely will!

well done for beig such a good dad - just wish all dads were like you!!

 

[mommy2baby2]

Like, everyone else has said, document it and tell your caseworker. If your daughter is continually "sick" perhaps you should use this against her mom because if this IS the case, something is very wrong in their household...You should also consider digitally recording all of the phone conversations, so that way when she is lying, you can use it as proof when the time comes. Without it, it could fall into the he said/she said area, making things more difficult because she could always claim you were lying and were calling to tell her you weren't coming....

I also agree with what someone else wrote, on these days when she's claiming your DD is sick, you need to plan on going to her house to spend your parenting time, at least at that point, you can verify with your own eyes whether or not she is truly sick.

 

[Atom2010]

Thanks for your kind words and support everyone, much appreciated - going to her place and seeing my kid is an absolute no no, the guy she is seeing is very jealous ( She is too ) but she has accused me of soo much things its unbelievable, there too much stuff happened for anything like that to happen - also she just aint the civil type she's full of jealous hatred towards me because i got on with my life and would not take her back after her cheating twice - once was enough but twice she was just takin the piss, funny thing was she always accused me yet shes the one who done it.

Anyways my order states i pick my daughter up from school and drop her off at school but on any holidays she gets dropped off at her grans ( My ex's mother ), im going to document everytime this happens and the previous times too and c where it ends up ( if it goes back to court ).

Btw i forgot to ask she is trying to apply to the court to shorten my time i get with my daughter on the basis i let my daughter stay with my mum on 1 night i have her to spend sometime with her nana, the courts wont change anything unless its significant right ? theres nothing on the order that says she cant plus if she can stay with her mother surely she can spend a little time with my own ?

Thanks

 

[mommy2baby2]

Well as far as the shortening of your parenting time, honestly, I agree with your ex's reasonings. It's YOUR visitation, not your mom's. Your daughter should be with you and if your mom wants to visit, fine, but to drop her off for a nightly visit every week it kind of makes it seem like you are just dumping her off so you can go out and party (or hang with friends or WHATEVER she wants to say you are doing). You only have a couple days per week to be with her but you are dropping her off...in the US something like that wouldn't go over very well...but I don't know how things are there.

As far as her new man being jealous or her being jealous, the history of cheating...I don't see how that has any relevance to your custody agreements. It sounds like she has moved on and is quite happy but is upset by perhaps how you are handling this situation or something that you are doing? We obviously only know your side of the story but you say she has done this before and have hinted at already talking to your caseworker about it...so why is the situation still happening if you have already filed complaints?

I'm definitely not trying to pick you apart, just trying to understand the situation because some stuff isn't adding up. But I do think it's great that you are trying to be there for your daughter though!

 

[billy2mm]

it shouldnt matter if she is jealous or her oh is jealous, if you want to spend time with your daughter even when she is ill then you should be able to go there and hold your tongue and be civil towards them when they are not being civil towards you.

as for your lo spending overnight with your mum, that is going against the visitation arrangements and quite possibly will shorten the length of time you get with her as you are essentially "dumping" lo on someone else without prior agreement with your ex. be very very careful about that and maybe let her spend the day but overnight is a total no no imo.

 

[bloodbinds]

One of the reaons Bella's Dad won't come to mine to see Bella is that he doesn't want to see the rest of my family as there are 'bad feelings'. It's a ridiculous excuse because if you want to see your daughter then you want to see her no matter what.

We can only see your side of the story so i don't feel like i can comment much, but as long as you are doing the best for your daughter, then good on you. x