Need some homebirth support!

[emsbaby916]

My husband and I are strongly considering home birth for our second child. Our first son, 20 months, was born in the hospital with midwives and I had a wonderful unmedicated birth. However, my post-partum experience was the polar opposite. I was forced to take medications that I didn't think I needed. They made us stay in the hospital an extra day after promising us we could leave earlier. And the biggest thing, they kept taking my son to check his blood sugar and gave him formula twice without even asking me. Many times they would come in and say they had to take him when I was trying to nurse him. I know this is nothing like the horror stories that many women have had to deal with, but after such a powerful birth it was hard to feel so powerless and not listened to.

Even though a home birth would be exactly what we wanted we are both having a hard time getting over our fears of all the things that could happen. I had a miscarriage in April and it came out of nowhere, no bleeding or cramping, just an ultrasound with no heartbeat. I think now we see the worst case scenario in everything and we're so afraid of putting our baby at risk. I know that no woman who decides to have a home birth is putting her birth experience above her baby's health. They decide to do it because they feel safer at home than in the hospital. I really want to get comfortable with it, but I can't stop thinking about things like cord prolapse, respiratory distress or meconium ingestion or anything else that would be an emergency where a hospital transfer couldn't be done in time to save my baby. I know that just as many infant deaths happen to low-risk women in the hospital as they do at home, but if something did happen to my baby and I thought that having him or her at the hospital would have saved their life I'd never be able to live with myself. Sorry to have written a book, but my question is, if you've decided to have a home birth, how did you get past this fear that is so prevalent in our country of everything that could go wrong? I'm not looking for anyone to convince me (unless you want to try) but I'd really appreciate any words of encouragement or facts/ statistics that would make me feel comfortable. Thanks in advance ladies!!

 

[Samantha675]

I think for myself I had to weigh the risk of intervention in the hospital with the risks of things that can go wrong at home. I had to decide which I felt most comfortable with. There are risks that come with birth, birth at home, or birth in the hospital.

I trust my MW, and I trust my body. I am actually planning a home birth after a c-section. Which really freaks people out. Doctors bang on about rupture. Well if you look at statistics, my risk of rupture is lower than cord prolapse, but doctors never bring that up.

Remember at any time during a homebirth, if you or your MW feel uncomfortable, you can transfer. I transfered with my son, and it wasn't an emergency, it wasn't scary.

Also, if something happened in the hospital, would you not ask yourself the same question, but in reverse? It strikes me that if you stay at home, and something happens, then you are totally at fault. NO matter the problem, but if you are in the hospital, and something goes wrong, it is no ones fault. We are conditioned not to blame doctors, even when they do something wrong, blame is not always laid at their feet as it should be.

 

[bassdesire]

I had such a positive experience at the hospital with midwives (completely natural birth) and the one thing that swayed us more than anything was realizing that adding a child to a family is a FAMILY event. The thought of leaving my daughter for multiple days(have never done that) and then coming home holding another life and completely in love, would be really traumatic for her. We want to involve her in the birth of this child. This is our baby--as we always say--not my baby

Things happen, but if you have a great midwife and are healthy the chances are SO low. Hospitals have issues all the time--ALL the time... home births do as well, so it is weighing the pros and cons, that's all. For us it is total PRO

 

[wigglywoo]

Definitely agree that it's about weighing up risks. I feel for myself that the risk of a birth full of interventions and feeling helpless if the people looking after me in labour wont listen to my wishes is far worse than the small risk that something could possibly not go to plan at home. I trust my body and trust that evolution would not have made humans incapable of birthing without intervention.

Read about the things you are scared of and look at statistics. You will probably find that they are not as common as we are lead to believe by mws and consultants. Meconium for example is cited as being an emergency. A baby can pass meconium for reasons other than distress and whether it is thick (just passed) or thin (passed at some point prior to labour when the gut becomes mature) makes a difference. Meconium aspiration is also very rare. I will not be transferring in the case of meconium stained liquor unless it is thick and baby is in distress.

I am far more scared by the prospect of hospital than I could ever be at birthing at home. In my opinion, hospitals are there for people who are sick or need help, birth is a normal, physiological event, why do the medical profession feel the need to mess with it?

 

[Samantha675]

I am currently re-reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. It has lots of statistics, and information about birth that may help ease your mind.

 

[emsbaby916]

Thank you so much to all of you for your words! It has really helped ease my mind. We know that home birth is right for us and I think we will get more and more comfortable with it the more we talk to people. Thanks again!

 

[ljo1984]

i have a 20 month old DD, and i also had a MMC, but before her rather than between her and this one. i didnt have a great experience in hospital having imogen and although there are them what if's in my head i feel the advantages of home birth have outweighed anything else. xx