need some support ...tokophobia (fear childbirth) deciding to try and do it without c

[butterfly5]

section...

Hey beautiful mamas! I am 29 and pregnant with my first bundle! This was a total surprise as we were not trying. Married for 6 years so all very happy about it none the less. However, since a child I have had an overwhelming pathological fear of childbirth. If I watch birth shows I have fainted or got clammy and had to lie down with a panic attack. Getting a pap smear makes me faint and my bp drops.

I could under the NHS guidelines get counselling and push for a c section and would probably be given one according to several midwives. However, I am terrified of death and so being in an operating theatre may be just as bad.

How hard will labour be? I need some encouragement that i CAN do this.

Thanks

A very worried anxious mummy to be

 

[susan_1981]

I put in my birth plan that I'd like to do it all naturally if I can but otherwise an epidural. For me that was a mistake because they obviously read that and didn't want to give me an epidural. So I did it without any pain relief except for gas and air and that really did nothing for me - just made me feel dehydrated. But I pretty much had constant contractions for 15 hours so it wasn't easy for me but the thing is, you just get on and do it because you have to. Our bodies are made for giving birth, you can do it. And the way I kept looking at it is that if the pain was THAT bad, then you'd pass out - and I didn't. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone passing out in labour.

I suppose I'm not much help because I had very strong and long contractions from beginning to end but I did it. I didn't think I could but I did and once you are fully dilated and pushing, for me, I think I was past caring about the pain because it was near the end.

I kind of had mental strategies that I kept thinking - because my waters had broke, you have to give birth within 24 hours - that this time tomorrow, it would all be over and I'd have my lovely baby. Every single pain you experience is a step closer to your baby arriving. Another strategy that my sister in law told me was to think of each contraction as a wave. Once it hits its peak, you know it's going to come down.

You can do it. You'll be fine. My friend read a book on hypno birth and she said it really helped her so you could give that a go. Maybe get some counselling if you can though because it does sound like you could use some help but just remember our bodies are designed for labour. It's painful but worth every single second of that pain! xxx

 

[Amygdala]

It's not all that painful for everyone, even naturally, and there are plenty of pain relief options to help. Maybe talk to your midwife about pain relief in more detail? Or you could go the other way and opt for a birth at a birthing centre attached to a hospital. That way it would be a more homely setting, if being at hospital is part of your fear. I definitely think it'd be worthwhile for you to look into a hypnobirthing course or even counselling to help you work at your fear. Being calm is the best thing you can do for a smooth birth experience and there's many strategies that can help you stay calm.

 

[Eleanor ace]

You can do it! have you looked into hypnobirthing? I haven't tried it but I know a lot of people find it really helps them to deal with their fear and pain.
Everyone deals with the pain/pressure differently but state of mind definitely makes a big difference. If you think it is going to be horrible and are terrified going into it it will probably feel a lot worse than if you are able to stay calm. I'd suggest looking online for coping strategies and making note of anything that appeals to you (calming music, aromatherapy, water, massage, hypno birthing, different lighting, birth partner reinforcement...) and make sure that the peopel who will be with you when you labour know how important it is that they support and reassure you. x