Need to get this off my chest

[JASMAK]

This post is merely to get it off my chest, but I do welcome any replies. My husband got a new job today (yay). I phoned my mother to let her know, and she seemed unimpressed - which is not surprising because my mother does not care about anyone but herself. Then I asked her if she was interested in babysitting once in awhile...and she said no. Which is fine. She babysat for me for I think it was 8 weeks, and she was so mean to the kids. She would grab the kids arms, and not take them to the park or anything. They would sit at home all day and then she would wonder why they would be acting up (bored maybe - duh). She would also e-mail me or call me at work and tell me about all the bad things that were happening. I would be so upset, that sometimes I would go to the bathroom at work and just cry! She would play total victim too..."Jasper is verbally abusive" (um, he's six!). Jasper is the sweetest and easiet kid ever. He likes to please and wants to help out. She would give Makena time-outs all the time (she is only four and has autism and is really like a baby espesially with her communication!). So, when my mom told me that she didn't want to watch my kids EVER, I was like "fine". But, then she went on and on about horrible they were. How "odd" Jasper is because he will get mad and angry! WTF?! So, I told my mom off. I told her that when I was growing up, she treated me like I was "wrong, different, lying, ugly, and odd". I will NOT allow her to treat MY kids like that - EVER! So, I hung up on her. I am really upset though. These are my KIDS. I love them and I don't need her to tell me that they are horrible. She was a HORRIBLE mom. I was abandoned, uncared for, left alone many times, starving, with no clean clothes or a parent for sometimes weeks. How dare SHE tell me that my kids are not normal...SHE is not normal. And what about her loving her grandkids "unconditionally"? No such thing...not even for her own kids. But, what hurts the most, is my daughter IS different; she has autism, and my son has to be tested too on advice from his school. It is an open raw wound with me...she doesn't need to POINT OUT it to me. It is NOT their faults! She has no idea how badly this hurts me. I hear all the "faults" in my children all the time: their DR's, teacher's, speech therapists...and more. I need her to be the one who loves them for WHO they are...and if shs can't then seriously, she can EFF OFF. This is the THIRD time she has said these things to me, and each time I have told her how awful it is for me. I just had to get this off of my chest. My husband just phoned and I told him all of this, and yeah, he is upset too, but, he is not surprised at all. This is just the way she is. She has no thought or cares about anyone but herself.

 

[Reedy]

Oh sweety I'm so sorry for how your mum is
Thing is by the sounds of it she will never change & if it was me & this is just my opinion she would be out of our lives for good, she obviously doesnt care about you or her grandchildren to treat you all the way that she does so I wouldnt subject my kids to her they have the 2 people they need most in the world & thats their mummy & daddy anyone else is a bonus x
Tell her she either starts to be more polite, friendly, loving & caring or she doesnt have anything to do with you at all x

I really hope you sort things out whatever you decide to do x
Oh & congrats to your hubby on his new job x Fab news x

 

[JASMAK]

Oh sweety I'm so sorry for how your mum is
Thing is by the sounds of it she will never change & if it was me & this is just my opinion she would be out of our lives for good, she obviously doesnt care about you or her grandchildren to treat you all the way that she does so I wouldnt subject my kids to her they have the 2 people they need most in the world & thats their mummy & daddy anyone else is a bonus x
Tell her she either starts to be more polite, friendly, loving & caring or she doesnt have anything to do with you at all x

I really hope you sort things out whatever you decide to do x
Oh & congrats to your hubby on his new job x Fab news x

I am thinking about cutting her off too. She causes me alot of grief, and I am always trying to be the one to get her to talk to me or the kids. It is never because SHE wants to. Then, there is everything I mentioned in the post above. I was actually up alot of the night thinking about this. She makes me feel horrible...why do I bother? I have decided that SHE can phone me. And, when she decides to do that (probably when she needs something) then I will tell her that unless she speaks to me and my children with respect and in a loving and caring way...then she can stay away.

 

[purpledahlia]

aw dear thats not a nice thing to be happening, not while your at work, you need to trust the kids carer fully to be able to relax at work and get on with it.
I would probably limit if not cut off communication with her aswell. Autism is a hrad thing for some people to understand, and just like many other disabilitys there are people out there who point the finger and name call. Its nobodys fault, you and your children need to feel secure and safe around people, not on edge and worrying or for the kids sake upset.
Hope you sort out something and the children are ok, If my mother left me with dirty clothes and no food i wouldnt let her be alone with my kids :S.
good luck x