Needing a pick-me-up, and maybe some ladies who can relate?

[fghtffyrdmns]

So, this is my first post.. I have been creeping on all of the posts already from an anonymous point of view, but I am just so discouraged after my last gyno visit that I need to get it out.. and see what the thoughts are.

Basically, we have been ttc since last summer.. So, almost a year now. I have PCOS (UGH!) and my weight has always been a struggle.. I take Metformin, but went to see my gyno anyways, because it has been almost a year with no success.

I took my BBT charts, and list of questions, and my hopes.. She promptly told me that BBT charts were pretty much pseudoscience, and didn't look at them whatsoever. She didn't hear all of my questions out, and told me that if I lost weight, she would put me on Clomid. Well, I've been struggling to lose weight (as I told her) and I respectfully asked what weight I would need to be down to.. To which she replied, "Between 200 and 230 lbs.. depending on my mood that day." What? How is it okay to say that to an honest question? I don't want to come in at 220 lbs and her be moody and tell me to go 20 more lbs. : ( Just give me a set goal.

Then she got up and told me to have sex at least every other day... and set an appointment for a year from now. : (

I'm trying Instead Cups, and thinking about turkey bastering (not really.. buy maybe a little. lol)

My partner has been completely supportive, and that helps. I'm just so sad right now. I feel like my gyno didn't care at all. I also haven't ovulated this month, and I am on CD29.

Any advice out there, Lovelies?

 

[Jules8]

I just wanted to say I am sorry your doctor is such a jerk! That was not a respectful way to speak to a patient.

I had a bad experience with my old OBGYN. When I was 16 they stuck me on the pill due to inconsistent cycles. I was on BC until about 4 years ago. I didn't always get af so being concerned I called and one of the nurses actually told me I was stupid because if I knew anything about BC that I would know that missed af on BC was normal. I was so terrified I never brought it up again. Finally, I got a new doctor this year. I told her I had not taken BC for years and was tracking my cycles. She seemed genuinely concerned about me not having AF every month and sent me out for blood work to test all of my hormone levels. Long story short I found out I have PCOS.

I just think that if I would have stuck it out with that doctor I may have never found out what was really wrong. I also think about the time that I wasted with a doctor that didn't genuinely care about my husband and I having a child.

Just thought you should know that not all OBGYN's are like that. If I were you I would ask people you know where they go and if they like their doctor, as well as calling around and explain your situation until someone will help you through this.

 

[MariposaTam]

I'm so sorry that your doctor acted that way towards you! I would change obgyn's right away if I were you, and get a second opinion. She sounds like she should not be in this profession, she doesn't seem to care about her patients my partner and I have been TTC since last July and found our obgyn in January when we didn't have success using fresh sperm (we are a lesbian couple using a known donor). Our doctor was quick to recommend hormone testing and listened to our concerns and gave us suggestions, and when we didn't have success after a chemical pregnancy she prescribed clomid despite normal ovulation-just in case her egg quality is not the best, despite a clear hormone panel. Long story short, I feel your pain, and I really hope that you can find another doctor that is much more friendly and helpful. Don't be discouraged by the quick dismissal of this one person. Best of luck to you! Feel free to pm me if you want to chat

 

[TinyLynne]

I am so sorry you have to deal with that kind of OBGYN. Just know that you DONT have to put up with that. I just switched mine after my 2nd chemical and I am so glad I did. Not happy about the losses at all, but I am definitely happy that I got to see how the previous OBGYN was (unsympathetic, unavailable, did not follow through on actions during the second pregnancy as promised after the first ended and in some cases just plain WRONG) and that led me to go to my regular doctor who did a couple of tests and referred me to a new OBGYN all in an hour! I saw my new OB that day and I feel like a new person! My attitude is more happy and positive, and I actually feel hopeful for the first time in a while! He lets me ask any question about anything I've read on the Internet and he looks into it for me, he gives me his thoughts and experience and in the end is really supportive on letting me take control of what I want to do and try. He even calls me back when I leave him messages. THIS is how it should be, and there ARE OBGYNs like this out there. They won't believe that yours waived you off and told you to come back in a year.

You are doing all of the right things with charting bbt and so on, now you just need to get a GOOD OBGYN to help support you and listen to your thoughts and questions, because they are important. I agree with these ladies, ditch that horrible lady (that shouldn't be in patient care) and keep looking until you find someone that makes you comfortable.

 

[fghtffyrdmns]

I just wanted to say I am sorry your doctor is such a jerk! That was not a respectful way to speak to a patient.

I had a bad experience with my old OBGYN. When I was 16 they stuck me on the pill due to inconsistent cycles. I was on BC until about 4 years ago. I didn't always get af so being concerned I called and one of the nurses actually told me I was stupid because if I knew anything about BC that I would know that missed af on BC was normal. I was so terrified I never brought it up again. Finally, I got a new doctor this year. I told her I had not taken BC for years and was tracking my cycles. She seemed genuinely concerned about me not having AF every month and sent me out for blood work to test all of my hormone levels. Long story short I found out I have PCOS.

I just think that if I would have stuck it out with that doctor I may have never found out what was really wrong. I also think about the time that I wasted with a doctor that didn't genuinely care about my husband and I having a child.

Just thought you should know that not all OBGYN's are like that. If I were you I would ask people you know where they go and if they like their doctor, as well as calling around and explain your situation until someone will help you through this.

Ugh. PCOS is the worst! I absolutely hate it! I'm glad that everything worked out for you, and I am glad that you found a doctor who cares! It's such an intimidating situation, and a mean doctor doesn't help. I will definitely start looking and asking my friends! Thank you so much for your advice. : )

 

[fghtffyrdmns]

I'm so sorry that your doctor acted that way towards you! I would change obgyn's right away if I were you, and get a second opinion. She sounds like she should not be in this profession, she doesn't seem to care about her patients my partner and I have been TTC since last July and found our obgyn in January when we didn't have success using fresh sperm (we are a lesbian couple using a known donor). Our doctor was quick to recommend hormone testing and listened to our concerns and gave us suggestions, and when we didn't have success after a chemical pregnancy she prescribed clomid despite normal ovulation-just in case her egg quality is not the best, despite a clear hormone panel. Long story short, I feel your pain, and I really hope that you can find another doctor that is much more friendly and helpful. Don't be discouraged by the quick dismissal of this one person. Best of luck to you! Feel free to pm me if you want to chat

Yeah. She didn't say anything about hormone testing. : ( I hate that I spent money on the situation without learning anything! Like.. I should probably get my hormones tested? I even took in blood charts from my PCP visits (my PCP is glorious!) and she didn't glance at them. Ugh! I am going to start looking for a new doctor! Thank you for your kind words! I really hope that Clomid works for you and your lady. : )

 

[fghtffyrdmns]

I am so sorry you have to deal with that kind of OBGYN. Just know that you DONT have to put up with that. I just switched mine after my 2nd chemical and I am so glad I did. Not happy about the losses at all, but I am definitely happy that I got to see how the previous OBGYN was (unsympathetic, unavailable, did not follow through on actions during the second pregnancy as promised after the first ended and in some cases just plain WRONG) and that led me to go to my regular doctor who did a couple of tests and referred me to a new OBGYN all in an hour! I saw my new OB that day and I feel like a new person! My attitude is more happy and positive, and I actually feel hopeful for the first time in a while! He lets me ask any question about anything I've read on the Internet and he looks into it for me, he gives me his thoughts and experience and in the end is really supportive on letting me take control of what I want to do and try. He even calls me back when I leave him messages. THIS is how it should be, and there ARE OBGYNs like this out there. They won't believe that yours waived you off and told you to come back in a year.

You are doing all of the right things with charting bbt and so on, now you just need to get a GOOD OBGYN to help support you and listen to your thoughts and questions, because they are important. I agree with these ladies, ditch that horrible lady (that shouldn't be in patient care) and keep looking until you find someone that makes you comfortable.

Your OB sounds amazing!!! : ) I am going to start looking for a new one, too. I'm sorry to hear about both of your chemicals. Hopefully things will be better with your new doctor. I hate to say that I am glad I am not alone, but it is reassuring to know I am not the only one. I was drowning in a depressed state since my visit with the gyno.. But, these posts were the pick me up I needed! Thank you for all of your advice. I hope things work out for you!

 

[TinyLynne]

Good luck on your journey to a new OB, I'm telling you, it will change everything for you!

 

[swimmyj1]

Wow I know everyone else has said it but yeah you need a new obgyn. I also need to lose weight and have POCS (just found out and started on metformin 2 months ago) but my doctor wasn't rude about it. Seriously depending on her mood, that isn't an answer. I'm a nurse and honestly if I heard a patient being talked to that way I would say something! My doctor started me on a slew of vitamins (B6, B12, C, D and a prenatal). We also started my Husband on fertility blend. So hoping this works if not she is going to refer us to a specialist in a few months, which I'm ok with.

Good luck! P.S. turkey baster doesn't do to much try keeping ur hips elevated after on a pillow and laying flat for at least 20 minutes lol that's what my doc said. She also suggested getting a micro scope so we can check my husbands "swimmers" and see if the fertility blend is increasing the count and motility. lol

 

[BabyS14]

I was told the same thing from my doctor. She even recommended lap band ( I was 255lbs) after trying for a year previous and not getting anywhere I decided I had to lose weight in order to get pregnant. I lost 65 pounds and got pregnant. It took about 10 months to lose weight, but it made a huge difference and now I am having a healthier pregnancy than I would if I hasn't lost any weight.