Never going to have another baby.

[Serene123]

What is wrong with me? I've kind of just convinced myself that it's never going to happen. I've stopped trying properly just whenever we feel like it. We've decided to get two kittens and I keep telling people I don't want anymore children. When I'm busy I almost forget that I hate myself and that I'm a horrid person that even resents her friends. I never know which CD I'm on. I only know when I ovulate because of how much pain I'm in. I've not been pregnant since my last miscarriage in December.

How do you do it girls? How do you keep hope? I've already planned to go to college next September and spend years and years training to be a teacher without even giving having another baby a thought because that's how unlikely it feels.

 

[brumbar]

awww hun, hugs! sorry , not much help as I don't really know what to say.... but I hope it works out for you... hopefully "not trying" will result in a little surprise for you!
fingers x-ed!

 

[mercyme]

Serene, I completely empathize with your feelings. Getting BFNs this month has been so, so discouraging for me. It's just the not knowing if it'll ever happen, I guess? Well, hope you start feeling better soon -- kittens & college are def. two good distractions!

(Do you have endometreosis? Before surgery, I was on prescription painkillers, the cramps were so bad--both AF & ov.)

 

[Serene123]

Not sure yet, just had blood tests and a scan, waiting impatiently on results x

 

[africaqueen]

You MUST have hope.
I have no tubes and no children and i am VERY hopeful of getting pregnant again(via IVF) So please don't lose hope. If i can endure what i have been through and keep hopeful, you can manage it too xxx

 

[FutureMommie]

I wish I knew the perfect words to say to make you feel better and hopeful. I know how it feels to want it so badly, we've been ttc for 2.5 years, and I'm 37 years old. What keeps me going is knowing that when it's my perfect time,I'm going to get pg, that doesn't make the waiting any easier, but I won't loose hope, and neither should you. What are your Dr's saying? Have you been to an RE?

 

[Serene123]

What's an RE?

I went to my GP who refered me to a Gynecologist who refered me back to my GP and to a genetic testing clinic who have done some blood tests and a scan. They think I can't carry boys and won't listen to the fact I think I have an infection. Hoping the scan will show something if I do

Thank you so much girls and I'm sorry to be a downer, you are all inspirational x

 

[cheerios]

Hey Serene
May I ask, do you have a child? I couldn't help but notice that you say "another" baby and you tell others you "don't want to have any more children". If you do have a child, may I ask how did it happen?

An RE is a reproductive Endocrinologist....I guess that's similar to a Fertility Specialist. These are people specialising to help people get pregnant. I would say to give it a shot. I've only been to my FS once (just 2 days ago) and its just so comforting to know that a doctor is taking care of your reproductive needs....like you're not alone in "fighting" this battle of infertility, you know....

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[Serene123]

Hey Serene
May I ask, do you have a child? I couldn't help but notice that you say "another" baby and you tell others you "don't want to have any more children". If you do have a child, may I ask how did it happen?

An RE is a reproductive Endocrinologist....I guess that's similar to a Fertility Specialist. These are people specialising to help people get pregnant. I would say to give it a shot. I've only been to my FS once (just 2 days ago) and its just so comforting to know that a doctor is taking care of your reproductive needs....like you're not alone in "fighting" this battle of infertility, you know....

Just my 2 cents worth.

Yes, I do have a daughter. She happened completely naturally, everything was fine. Labour and birth was fine too.

I'm not even sure we have RE here

My doctor seems to think I can't carry boys. Which is plausable, my mum couldn't. However, I just feel in so much pain around ovulation and so "different" to how I used to be. Even when we started TTC I wasn't in this much pain around ovulation it seems to be getting worse. I've told the doctor this and she said it's probably PCOS but she never checked me and the gynecologist said since my problem is not getting pregnant, but staying pregnant, even if I do have PCOS it isn't the problem here.

I guess I just want some answers x

 

[DragonMummy]

if they have done tests and you have to wait for the results, try calling the FS's secretary to see if theyre in.

I know a lot of people that have trouble carrying one particular gender, it's not uncommon. Dont give up hope. it will make you sadder in the long run. xxxx

 

[JaniceT]

Maybe instead of trying or hoping so hard and then get frustration/disappointed, ...you should take a break and focus on your studying and daily life. Be happy again with the simple things instead of TTC. Sometimes, TTC can be overwhelming and the frustrations affect so many aspects of our lifes and in turn, makes conceiving a little harder.

I took 9 months off after our 2nd failed ICSI and just decided to get on with life for a bit. OH and I went for holidays, got on with work, daily lives without talking or even thinking of having children. We lived, enjoyed life and were happy.

After 9 months fully relaxed, we decided to revisit ICSI again, with a BFP. As long as you're relaxed, there's always a better chance to be less stressed when TTC. You may just be too frustrated and want to say F*** it (pardon my language). Take time off and come back to it