New, but in need of a serious rant. Feel free to ignore.

[TTCForever]

I just joined extremely recently, and have been lurking around. I have been TTC (miserably failing at it, I might add) for almost 5 years. Not a hint of a , not ever. My doctor thinks I might never have children, odds are basically slim to none.


I am very sad, frustrated, and at times bitter. But I am more sad that is seems like this part of the forum is the only place I really belong, and I feel really sad being here. Not only because of my situation, but because of all the negativity that surrounds these threads.

I understand how hopeless it all seems when you are LTTC...but I just can't understand being SO bitter that people won't go to family functions, or baby showers, or not even congratulating pregnant women? How does that make anyone feel better? It doesn't change anything. It just makes you look like a selfish bitter cow.

So many people around me have gotten pregnant or are pregnant. Even my little sister. I was sad for me, through myself a pity party, but the next day I visited her, I congratulated her even though it only took her two months to concieve, went to her appointments when she needed me to be there, and I oohed and ahhed over her u/s pictures and went with her on shopping trips.

I love my little nephew to death.

It's not just my sister, its also my coworkers and friends. I make a point to be there for every baby shower, and I damn well make sure I congratulate them and make sure they know I am genuinely happy for them. Because if I am ever blessed with a pregnancy, I would want them to be there making goofball faces at my baby pictures and being at my shower. Whether someone has been trying for a month, 6 months, 10 years, or not at all...every pregnancy deserves happiness and politeness.

I would never "not go" to a christening or family function or baby shower due to my own experiences TTC. I also wouldnt tell any pregnant woman off for being pregnant or bragging about her pregnancy or even complaining. Pregnancy can be rough for some people. and yes, some people are actually scared to have a baby. Completely normal, but nothing to feel bad about just because someone would welcome a baby with giant open arms without a second thought and with no fear. Just because someone isnt LTTC, doesnt mean they won't love their baby as much as someone who is. I've seen that comment alot and it pisses me off. So does that mean you would love your baby more than my sister loves her baby? Ridiculous. Feck off.

I might never be a mother. But I'll be damned if LTTC will make me lose out on being a good wife, sister, daughter, cousin, friend, and coworker.

I don't understand the complete black and total bitterness. I mean I understand, but I dont.




Also, AF showed up last night, and I am down. Real down.


/endrant

 

[Lawgirl]

Sorry, but just because you don't understand it doesn't mean that you can call those of us that finds these things difficult 'bitter, selfish cow(s)'. Lttc is hard enough to deal with without being judged by other people.

 

[twickywabbit]

I don't really belong here...but this post was kind of harsh...I don't THINK you meant to call everyone selfish and bitter cows, but its the way it came off(Anything can be interpreted wrong over text)

So, although I commend you having the balls to say how you feel, everyone has a right to feel what they feel.

But I guess so do you.

But whatever, atleast you had the decency of putting up "Feel free to ignore". lol.

 

[TTCForever]

It was a vent. Feel free to ignore.


I see people on here judging fertile people all the time. I bet parenting and pregnancy is hard enough to deal with without people judging you.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I'm feeling really down and bitter these days too. We probably won't have children together and it's killing me. We all cope differently and there is no "right" way to grieve. I hope things look up for you and you somehow get a BFP.

 

[twickywabbit]

Wow, okay, one more post before I hightail it out of here.

I know this may SEEM like a dark and scary place...but that's because it IS. Maybe the behavior people display that you call selfish is actually them trying to be selfless? I didn't have to try as long as these ladies have, but I do know when I was starting to get low and I was sad seeing babies and bumps everywhere, I didn't want to be around it because I didn't want my rain, gloom and doom to ruin their sunshine.

You are right, people deserve to be treated nice...but its hard when people don't understand. It's easy to be irrational when you are in an irrational situation that doesn't make sense, like dealing with fertility issues.

I see where you are coming from, but I also where most of these wonderful ladies are coming from. Although I wouldn't skip Christmas with family or a baby shower myself, it wouldnt stop me from feeling ugly inside.

By the way, not a good way to start BnB...you don't want to seem self righteous or put on airs or put yourself up on a pedestal because you think people should feel a certain way, your FIRST POST. There is no certain way to feel about something like that...its just whatever way feels right to YOU.

I dont THINK you are a troll, just someone who is hurting and feeling protective and sympathy for loved ones who are lucky enough to be blessed with children. I think you saw some of those posts and got defensive because your sister has a child and you wouldnt want your sister feeling bad for being able to reproduce. I mean yeah, Im one of those stupid pregnant cows they talk about, and it kind of hurts that my mere presence might cause someone severe pain and yeah I might feel alittle defensive, but if I was in their shoes? I would probably feel the same way. Does that make me a bad person? Your did come off a little bitter though. Like, you are -unintentionally maybe- displaying similar actions that you are so openly against.

I won't want to wear out my presence so I'll just get out of here.

I just want to apologize to everyone if I have intruded.

 

[Lawgirl]

If it were not for the detail you gave I would call you a troll.

These forums are for advice and support. You may not agree with everything that people post (I don't), but you have the choice to ignore them and let those who do understand post support to that person.

I cannot see anything in your post that furthers the ethos of this forum. How does others agreeing with your position (and I'm sure some will) help you in any way? I consider this to be nastier than the actions of those you consider to be 'bitter and selfish'.

 

[CanadianMaple]

nevermind. Misread the OP.

 

[TTCForever]

If everyone else can post whatever they feel like. I can too.

I'm just against bitterness for pregnancy. I want to be pregnant. Bad. But as much as I can't stand ungrateful parents, I cant stand hateful people who are unfortunately in or around the same boat as me.

I said feel free to ignore, you didnt have to post. I didnt mean for it to come off nasty.

I sort of wish SOMEONE agreed with me, it would make me feel better, I feel like an alien being here because Im just not as angry as most on here but I feel like I cant be in TTC because most of those girls dont understand.

I knew this might offend some, but I had to get it out, and I dont know how to start a journal yet.

I want to say thanks for all of you responding though. Its just rough.

 

[Wobbles]

I really think if you can't stand these "bitter cows" you are on the wrong forum!

Your thread is very inappropriate in more than one way. Name calling, swearing and insensitive... Definately not with the spirit of the forum.