New mum & struggling with all night feeds!

[CordeliaJ]

Hello, I'm newly here, my little boy is only 3.5 days old.

I've been breast feeding, but obviously my knowledge is limited to what bits and pieces I've been told or have experienced so far.

My milk is just starting to come in. Oliver feeds quite well although I have seriously sore nipples which is a lot to do with not getting the latch quite right just yet. He really fusses about getting the nipple into his mouth while I'm trying to get the angle right instead, mainly his hands are thrashing about in the way making it very difficult. I'm hoping that with time we will get there, but it's all very new.

The main problem I'm having is that while he feeds every few hours or so during the day, he feeds pretty much every 15 mins to half an hour at night. The first night home was the worst, because I hadn't slept in 3 days due to a very long & complicated labour, and got a grand total of 45 mins sleep that night. I was ready to tear my hair out, but was determined to try and get it right the next night. I've had maybe max 4 hours sleep here and there in the last 24 hours, which frankly is better than nothing.
Anyway, I cannot find a good way to feed him during the night that is comfortable. I am in so so much pain from the labour that it's actually very hard for me to sit down (even on numerous cushions) or lie on my back in bed, coupled with the sore nipples which don't get enough of a break in 15 mins, it makes for very very painful & stressful feeding (I've been using lanolin, but it only helps a little and never gets to stay on long before it's time for the next feed). Oliver & I cannot manage the side hold feeding position, he just loses the breast every time, and I have even watched videos to try and get the positioning just right. Sadly I think that one will have to wait until he's a bit bigger (my breasts are currently twice the size of his head, so they just completely smother him)

So the only position that works really is cradle, and I prop myself up with lots of pillows and use one of those boppy shaped pillows for him (although this one has a different name). It works for about an hour and then the back, bottom, abdominal & groin pain starts to kick in.

I need any tips you can give me, as I'm up all night and most of the day too - this also means I'm not healing well from the labour either which is making it worse. How do you get through this? Any help is greatly appreciated!

 

[Pielette]

Hang in there! You're doing well and I promise it gets easier.

He's been feeding like crazy to bring your milk in and it will settle down a bit once it's properly in. I had a night when my bub was on and off (more on than off) for 7 hours and I'm not kidding I wanted to tear my hair out, but those days are long gone!

You say he feeds every few hours during the day? How many hours? At this stage I would be trying to encourage him to feed more frequently during the day, I don't let my LO go more than 3 hours in the day without a feed.

As for positioning, have you tried feeding laying down? So both of you on your side? If that would be gentle on your body it might be an idea. Plus you can drift in and out of sleep. We bedshared for the first 4 weeks or so which really helped.

The soreness will get better. I think at around 2 weeks it started to improve for me.

 

[New Mrs W]

Hey, congratulations on your new little man! So sorry you're finding it tough. If it is any consolation it all sounds perfectly normal. I was lucky in that I had no pain really after giving birth, other than after pains which are common with subsequent babies. But the first few nights we had no sleep at all. Mickey would only settle on me and DH tried to stay awake with me. We watched loads of TV during the night and had to be up to look after our two year old during the night. It was a hard time. But after a week or so he started to sleep longer periods at night which made me feel a little better. By about 6-8 weeks tye constant feeding calmed down. He can now go 2-3 hours during the day without a feed and wakes only once for a night feed now (most nights!!).

But, as I said, your situation all sounds perfectly normal. Maybe mention your pains to your mw but the constant, long feeds are your baby's way of getting your supply up. It will last a couple of months but it wilp settle down. Try not to fall into the trap of thinking he's not getting enough, as long as he's gaining weight and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies you are doing everything right xx

 

[CordeliaJ]

Thank you!

He generally feeds every 2-3 hours during the day, often will have 3 or 4 short 10-minute feeds with a 5 min break in between each one. But night is free for all, he can go all night long, haha.

Haven't been able to master the side lying position just yet, still trying every so often, but we also have quite a squishy bed which doesn't help! He just seems to lose the breast and get himself really worked up. I will persevere with that one, although he may need to get a bit bigger before it works perhaps.

Anyway, thank you both for you replies, it gives me hope!

 

[optimistic1]

I always miss my daughters newborn stage until I read these posts!! I think the first few days I slept maybe 6 hours tops spread out. I was so sleep deprived that I was actually hallucinating..which would scare the living shit out of me and I'd cry thinking I was going crazy. In the early days you need to sleep when lo sleeps. I learnt very quickly that they have no sense of time and it being 4 am means nothing in there eyes. Constant feeding is normal so forget about your house hold chores during the day or whatever else you use your baby free time for and sleep everytime lo does!

I never got the hang of side lying positions even now I struggle with that. Did they give you anything for pain? Im pretty sure tylenol is safe to take I had terrible back pain and if I didn't have tylenol it would get so bad I couldn't breath or move. After a few weeks it slowly got better. I still have moments where I get a discomfort in my back when sitting and feeding for long periods.

Good luck!!!! The first few weeks are so amazing and unbelievably difficult but things do get better. Got better for me after 8 weeks..just hang in there!

 

[nuffmac]

Hi. First, great name choice!! My guys Oliver too! The first few wks r soooo hard but u seem to be doing great. I agree with the previous posters. I found Oliver wud sleep for an hour r two during the day but wud be up more during the night as well. I always felt it was because he was born in the morning and slept alot the first day but started waking up wen it came to that evening. My little guy got jaundice and slept alot once i got outta the hospital.

I used to wake him every 2 hoirs for a feed during the day if not more often. That might help him sleep more at night. Oliver is getting into a routine now. He sleeps at night waking for 2 feeds but he is still feeding every hour to 2 hours during the day. I call him a nibbler! He just makes up for feeding less at night really.

Hang in there. Ur doing great mama!!

 

[Sweetkat]

I was also going to suggest lying on your side and holding him to you. It's easy in that either one or both your hands are free and at least you are getting some red while lying down. Some of my night feeds have been 3 hours long with me trying my best not to fall asleep!! She is 9 days old and it is a bit better now

 

[ryleesmom]

it does get better!! i remember that first week of no sleep lol dd wouldnt feed on her side till she wAs abt two months she has always wanted to lay on my chest to feed she is now thirteen months and still prefers it that way.. try every position u can think of it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to work lol good luck and congratts!!!

 

[Fortune Cooki]

In a few weeks you can try pumping and bottle feeding every once in awhile. Hand him over to someone else to feed via bottle and take a nice long nap! That is what I did starting at week 4. I caught up on some sleep by letting daddy bottle feed.

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Hi honey.

I remember those days. I felt awful and like I was being tortured. But I promise it gets better fast.

Side lying never really worked for me either I tend to only do cradle hold. (That being said DD had her breakfast side lying this morning as I was feeling lazy and it's the first time it's worked (she's 16 weeks).

The only way I got sleep in 3 hour stretches when DD was under 5 weeks was to sleep with her on me. She just wanted to be held all the time.

You'll figure out what works for you two. But you're doing great Hun. Be proud of yourself. The first couple of weeks are so hard. Xxxx

 

[cat_reversing]

hey, just to say keep going! it gets better!!
I used to get terrible backache from sitting in the chair feeding for hours but eventually things got better, baby got better at feeding and didn't need to feed the whole time.
It's hard, make sure you're eating and drinking well, rest when you can.

 

[CordeliaJ]

Thank you all loads for your replies. It really helps to know this is normal and that others have been through it too! I don't really have any friends with young babies so it's very daunting when you have no one to ask. Thank goodness for BnB!
I had a midwife visit & mentioned it to her, she said your hormones go into high gear at night & you produce more milk, apparently babies know this which is why they feed more at night.

My milk came in today and I'm noticing his sleeping & feeding is getting a little better. Right now he's asleep (ish) and I'm about to try & sleep too. He's sucking on his hand like crazy though, but not crying for a feed yet..feel like he will be soon though.

Still can't get him to latch particularly well. I try putting the nipple at his nose to try & get that big mouth, but he's so stubborn & just opens a little bit. I usually try about 3 or 4 times but then he gets so wound up from not being fed I just give in and let him do it his way. I think he gives himself more gas that way too from swallowing air, I don't know if there's anything I can do to help him with the latch or if it will just get better over time?

 

[CupcakeBaby]

I had to wait for DDs mouth to get bigger.

We had an ok latch but even now it's not 100% perfect as she has a lip tie.

Much easier now than when she was tiny though. X

I've just gone back and looked at my app and by 4 weeks old DD was regularly doing 4 hours straight at night.

It's amazing how good you feel on 4 hours once they start.

We get 7-8 now and feel like hell if she only does 4 - it's funny how quickly you get out of the no sleep habit!

 

[NurseSooz]

The sleep deprivation is a horror - I call it the "creeping horrors". It does get easier and Mr O is just building up your supply to meet his demand. Don't you worry - soon you'll be pouring milk and he'll be taken by surprise! Hang in there - you're doing grand to be feeling so lame and carrying on.

 

[special_kala]

Sometimes when Fox is being fidgety and a bit lazy i have to squeeze my nipple with my hand in a C shape (thumb on top and pointy finger underneath) and sort of shove it in, the first suck can be a bit shallow but after that he seems to take alot more nipple in.

 

[cat_reversing]

don't forget that bf is a skill that can take time to learn for both baby and mum. things get easier as time goes by so hang in there!