New Plan! Anyone else want to join??

[LaineB]

After 19 failed cycles of ttc #2.... I'm thinking about a whole new plan! I think Im going to stop temping, stop opks, stop the endless worry, have a glass of wine a night and enjoy my husband and beautiful son.....

I'm as regular as can be with my cycles, OV on day 15 Af on day 28 at 6am. Blood tests were all normal. SA normal. HSG normal..... IT HAS TO BE STRESS! Right?

 

[greengerbera]

Hi LaineB,

In a similar position ... been trying to conceive our 2nd since Aug 2010 - with one pregnancy in Dec with unfortunately ended in miscarrige..

My cycles are regular - 26 days but have a short luteal phase which has been a nightmare to get any treatment for.

Had all the tests - unfortunately my HSG was inconclusive - so have been told I should go for a lap & dye - but feeling a bit apprehensive about that ...

Also have low AMH test result of 6.79 which puts even more pressure on me - on deciding if I really want another child.

I would love to have a glass of wine and just wait and see - but i think time is not on my side - so I really envy you in this postion and think I would do the same if I was younger - as everyone reckons if you relax it really helps!!!

I have just been prescribed progesterone supplements for this cycle to see if it helps my short luteal phase - and if not then I am going to seriously look at IVF - as my last one attempt to conceive before I hang my hat up and enjoy my life with my husband and my little boy!!

 

[tas1]

Hi ladies
I'm not ttc but I think relaxing and not thinking too much about it really works!
When I decided to try for our second I got all the ovulation kits and thought right at Christmas I will start so I forgot about it then one day in august I was late but didn't think icoukd be pregnant so did a test and was shocked to find yes I was, wasnt suppose to be trying til the Christmas so came abit early! We had secretly been trying for a year and because I had thyroid problems I thought I would never get pregnant! So I'm saying is distract yourself and it will happen!

Good luck ladies I'll have my fingers crossed for you both xx

 

[LaineB]

Hi LaineB,

In a similar position ... been trying to conceive our 2nd since Aug 2010 - with one ..... luteal phase - and if not then I am going to seriously look at IVF - as my last one attempt to conceive before I hang my hat up and enjoy my life with my husband and my little boy!!

I say pray on it. I know all of the medical help is a hard decision. Our RE wants to go straight to IUI. There is nothing else to treat. DH is ready to go straight to IVF. We also lost a baby at 12 weeks preg in Feb 2010. And it was really hard on both of us.... We want to expand our family so badly!

 

[LaineB]

Hi ladies
I'm not ttc but I think relaxing and not thinking too much about it really works!
When I decided to try for our second I got all the ovulation kits and thought right at Christmas I will start so I forgot about it then one day in august I was late but didn't think icoukd be pregnant so did a test and was shocked to find yes I was, wasnt suppose to be trying til the Christmas so came abit early! We had secretly been trying for a year and because I had thyroid problems I thought I would never get pregnant! So I'm saying is distract yourself and it will happen!

Good luck ladies I'll have my fingers crossed for you both xx

Thank you! We got preg the second time exactly the same way. Just a really relaxed time in our life where we weren't trying but open to more children. I just need to get into that mindframe!

 

[Jennifer01]

I might make some enemies here, and I hate to be a spoiled sport, but I ntnp for over 2 years before ttc...and nothing. I don't mean to be rude and I really hope it happens for you, but I get very offended when people tell me to "relax and it will happen" ...cause been there, done that! I also only charted and opk'd for half a year, by then I knew when I ov and would just bd at the right time. That being said you should definately have some wine and enjoy your oh and son!! I wish you the best of luck, please don't take me wrong, it's just a sore spot for me bc it isn't the "cure all" people assume it is.

 

[Casperess]

Jennifer...i don't think the op was suggesting it was a cure or a definitive answer to infertility. I certainly haven't seen the comment 'relax and it will happen' ? I think that the only stress factor that can affect fertility is extreme stress, such as bereavement for example.

Clearly after 19 cycles active ttc the op is just going to have a different attitude in order to emotionally cope. We're all different at the end of the day... i can understand why that comment would upset you but i haven't interpreted this thread that way.

I'm on cycle 23. I've already decided to not use opk's and i think i may give Soy a miss too. I know that it will be a case of 'luck' if i fall pregnant again no matter what i do.

I find it really hard to focus on anything else, and that frustrates me! Even with a heavy workload!
So it would be great to have a thread for general chit chat and distractions but still with a trying 'air' to it?

xx

Ps - No enemies made here! We should all be able to talk openly and be compassionate to each other xxx

 

[magicvw]

I've tried trying and I've tried not trying and all I can conclude is that it makes no difference! But certainly does no harm

greengerbera - I am in a similar situation to you. I'm 38 and have low progesterone. I am taking them this month and FX. I also had a suspected chemical last month and apparently that increases your chances the following month. I normally start spotting on 8po, and did last month, then af arrives on 11dpo, which she did, but then disappeared, on and off spotting, only to reappear as heavy as anything on cd5. My ov is now 5 days late, so I guess it was a chemical. Anyway, hoping to get my temp rise tomorrow and then will start taking my progesterone!

to all you ladies regardless of how hard "hard" you are trying!

 

[readyformore]

I'm not one to believe that stress prevents pregnancy.
Women get pregnant after rape, during famine, at times of war, etc.

My first child was conceived at my 4th IUI. I was VERY stressed and convinced that it wouldn't work. Within 2 days prior to the IUI, my grandfather passed away. It was devastating. I was crying all the time. And I still got pregnant. In fact, the first entire year was pretty stress free. So why didn't I conceive then?

So, no, I don't think stress is keeping you from getting pregnant. I wish I could tell you what was the problem though.

I find that with unexplained infertility, we start to blame ourselves and we grasp at straws to try to fix things, "Hey, if I relax, eat pineapple, exercise more or less, have sex just for fun, use preseed, take extra folic acid, have sex doggie style, etc..... I will get pregnant."

Honestly, I don't really think any of it matters. It all comes down to luck.

But, I also just keep trying new things. I've tried different bd timings, and positions. I've tried temping and bloodwork. I've tried meds and IUI. Nothing has worked. Trying to be less stressed, well it's worth a shot.

I just have to say that it bothers me a little bit when I hear of women that are taking the responsiblity of infertility on themselves, due to stress.

Give yourself a little break.......it's not your fault.

 

[LaineB]

I might make some enemies here, and I hate to be a spoiled sport, but I ntnp for over 2 years before ttc...and nothing. I don't mean to be rude and I really hope it happens for you, but I get very offended when people tell me to "relax and it will happen" ...cause been there, done that! I also only charted and opk'd for half a year, by then I knew when I ov and would just bd at the right time. That being said you should definately have some wine and enjoy your oh and son!! I wish you the best of luck, please don't take me wrong, it's just a sore spot for me bc it isn't the "cure all" people assume it is.

Hi Jennifer,

I appreciate your input and understand the frustration a comment made like "relax and it will happen" can create. In fact, if my mom makes this comment to me one more time, I may disown her

She was able to get pregant with me and my 3 siblings the month they tried. Ignorance of the situation causes people to be insensitive because they just don't understand the helplessness and heartbreak we feel month after month. Our patience begins to wear thin with people bc they just don't understand.

However, we need to remember the damage stress can do to our bodies. I know personally I am very hard on myself and angry at my body. The stress is weighing on me in ways that effect every part of my life. My husband even commented that I have completely lost myself along the way. The funloving person I was 2 years ago is gone. I feel like all of the joy is sucked out of my life since my miscarriage in Feb '10.

I probably should also mention that I have returned to college During the spring of 2010. I sleep 4 hours a night, I am under an extreme amount of pressure to finish school quickly, our finances are tight while I'm in school, my son doesn't see me for days at a time when I have huge tests weeks. In my case, I've had a huge increase in stress the last year and a half. But the good news is, I graduate in 8 weeks!!! So we have decided, that in January we will begin IUI treatments if we haven't gotten pregnant on our own.

But, I also cannot deny that my previous two pregnancies were conceived at a time where I felt carefree and content. For me, its a necessity that I destress. I hate that this has effected me the way it has and all I can do is try to change it now.

The way I look at this situation, is relaxed or not relaxed may not make a difference in concieving or not, but we need to work on enjoying the journey of life even though it feels so unfair at times....

 

[puppycat]

Hiya Laine

I fully agree that we have to embrace God's path. It can get very upsetting when AF arrives but i can deal with it a lot easier knowing there is a reason for it all, i just don't know it yet and i would never question his plans for me.

This month just gone DH and i have found the fun in sex again and i actually O'd for the first time in a long time. I relaxed and enjoyed it, well worth it

 

[Jennifer01]

Laine,
Agreed! I know how I can get due to ttc stress also...this is why I don't go over the top with things like no hot baths, no wine, etc...I guess because I've seen no difference either way. Like ready I had my one bfp during a very stressful time. When you posted the first time, I had just heard one of those "it will happen if you stop trying" things and felt similar to how you feel re:your mom lol. I hope things get less stressful for you, and hope you get your bfp (hope we all do!!)

 

[christina_r]

I don't think stress always stops you from getting pregnant but sometimes you just need a break from counting days, charting everything, and peeing on endless amounts of sticks. Today is my first day of getting back in the game after a much needed break. All the endless disappointments and obessing about everything that happens down there just had me bummed out and dissapointed. I say if you need a break go for it. Being thankful for what you have is never a bad thing.