Newborn always feeding, doesn't want to sleep

[mrsj13]

Hi Everyone

We welcomed our son two weeks back. This is my first pregnancy and I haven't slept well for past few days, less than two hours in the last two days. My son has a growth spurt and always wants to feed, which means I'm feeding him more than 20 times a day. I don't have a shred of energy left in my body but my paediatrician has told me I need to keep on feeding him for as long as he wants. I asked him if we could use formula feeding once every night and he downright refused.

Is this normal? Please tell me if I need to change the paediatrician.

 

[LoraLoo]

Firstly, It's not the paediatricians decision to make! There's a difference between encouraging breastfeeding to dictating how you feed your baby, that's your choice. Your baby, your body, not his.

That said, Babies do feed really frequently in the first few weeks, often Cluser feeding which makes it feel like baby is never off the boob. It's normal, but tiring.

How is baby gaining? Are you letting him drain one breast before switching him? The fatty milk, which will fill him most, is at the end of a feed so you need to ensure he is getting this and not swapping sides too early.

They do start going longer between feeds as they get older, and bigger, but it's probably not much consolation to you now. Have you considered expressing so you can get a break?

 

[Olivette]

Hello!

Congratulations on your new baby! It's such an exhausting time those first few weeks. I know it's not helpful right now but it really does pass, I promise.

You're paediatrician should have been a little gentler that's for sure! It does sound like he's cluster feeding right now though which is totally normal, especially in the evening times (from my experience). At this age they are trying to bring in as much milk as they can and are trying to regulate your supply. It's totally exhausting but also necessary.

As LoraLoo mentioned, I always tried to make sure that they drained the first boob before offering the second. I also had help from my husband in the night. He did the night nappy changes and handed me the babies back to then feed. This really helped as it meant I could get a few minutes extra sleep.

It's of course your decision to offer a bottle of formula in the evening, but in my own experience i've found that it's often recommended to wait until 6 weeks if you can as by then your supply will have settled down and regulated and there is less chance of nipple confusion.

From what you've said your experiences right now are completely normal. The first few weeks are utterly exhausting but it does pass I promise. You're doing everything right.

Olivette x

 

[staralfur]

Completely normal and while it sounds like the paediatrician was lacking in tact, the advice to not give formula in the early days is sound. I experienced the opposite, our doctor told us it was totally fine to give formula when I was too tired and in turn I suffered from repeated mastitis and a dangerously low supply at one point. If I could go back and do it again I'd have looked into safe cosleeping right away and skipped the formula.

I still credit cosleeping as the thing that saved our breastfeeding relationship and kept me sane. I was able to just stick a boob in her mouth when she needed it without getting up or even really waking up most of the time. It made a world of difference.

 

[noon_child]

If it is a growth spurt (and it sounds like it is) things should settle down in a day or two.

I agree that the paed is not the person who decides how you feed your baby, however there are reasons why formula feeding in the early weeks can damage breastfeeding, so if he is aware that bf is really important to you and your babies behaviour sounds normal (it does) then what he said is more understandable (but still not right - feeding choices are not his responsibility, information about feeding choices is).

Like pps have said, formula bottles open you up to clogged ducts and mastitis and lowered supply. To avoid this you have to express every time you give a bottle just to keep the right signals going to your boobs to keep making milk and to keep your ducts from getting clogged - which is a pain in the bum. Also there is the possibility of nipple confusion/preference which could lead to nursing strikes (heartbreaking and stressful and exhausting). Only you can decide how to weigh up the different risks/benefits of each choice, but knowing that this behaviour will pass and is normal can help you cope.

Sometimes it is more stressful trying to DO things to change a baby's behaviour than just rolling with it - because such inbuilt survival behaviour isn't going to change. Other times you are at the end of your rope and just want to try something - anything - that might have a chance of helping. So in the spirit of things that might help, but don't please pin your hopes on it or think something is wrong if it doesn't:
During growth spurts babies can tire on the boob and suck less efficiently - this is fine where co-sleeping is the norm as baby can be on as long as it needs but in situations where co-sleeping is dangerous/scary things that help a baby get more milk more quickly can sometimes help. Breast compressions are one of these things that can help (you can google videos and diagrams about how to do them).
I had my partner help me pump milk from one boob while baby ate from the other and then he fed that pumped milk to LO while I crawled off to lie down (if using bottles of this there is still a chance for nipple confusion/preference, but you can use syringes or cup feeding).
The advice in general is look at your baby to stimulate oxytocin and allow for milk to letdown, however feeding was so stressful for me that it actually helped me letdown if I was distracted by something pleasurable like a funny TV programme, my partner talking to me about something we had enjoyed together or giving me a tasty treat. I'm not advocating not looking at your baby at all, just that anything that lowers your stress is good for breastfeeding.
See how comfortable you are with safe co-sleeping (and if it is achievable in your household) as this can be a lifesaver for some.

I hope that this post finds you already out the other end of the growth spurt (although still expect cluster feeding for a while yet) and having some hope of a bit more sleep.

 

[1nceUponATime]

Congrats on your LO. My baby is 4 months old (also a FTM). I was right where you are at two weeks in.... desperate for some sleep! My baby also was eating every hour or so. It does get better! Hang in there! Slowly but surely the feedings will space out, and that first three hour stretch will feel like heaven!

 

[Elsa50501]

so I noticed you're in Kolkata,India. From what I've read recently, many Drs in India are advising families away from formula feeding because of a variety of illness that derives from bottle feeding there due to the types of bottles used there and the types of sterilization practices. Apparently, doctors there are trying to really push mothers to breastfeed because of water born micro organisms that cause sometimes serious illness in infants.

So, while in most instances,yes it would seem out of line for people like doctors to really stress breastfeeding over formula feeding (as it is a personal choice) it is possible that there are other factors that the doctor is considering (and not thoroughly explaining to you).

My suggestion is to discuss with your pediatrician WHY he or she says absolutely no formula feeding ( is it a parasitic or microorganism/water safety issue in your area?). Or is he/she just very pro breast feeding and actually being unreasonable/inflexible about your parenting decisions?

 

[mrsj13]

Thank you so much ladies, I finally had time to check the posts today. So his growth spurt did still continues, but yes, we're in a better position now.
Elsa...you're right, the paed was pro breastfeeding and yes, in general, doctors recommend breastfeeding rather than formula milk...it could very well be the water conditions but it's also a cultural matter. Although, in urban areas, where we stay, bottle sterilizers are used, so less or no chance of infection.

So we finally changed the doctor, because he diagnosed my son as colic, but the colic meds did not work for him. We had so many sleepless nights and being at wit's end, decided to contact another doctor. He examined our son and told us the only reason he's feeding more than 20 times a day is because he's hungry and I'm not producing enough milk! It was music to my ears knowing my son wasn't colic after all, which is why the colic meds weren't working on him.

We have now settled for a routine where I breastfeed on both sides for 20 mins each and thereafter top it up with formula till he takes it in. My baby is feeding about 8-10 times a day and sleeping more, which gives me some amount of free time, finally!

 

[noon_child]

So we finally changed the doctor.... He examined our son and told us the only reason he's feeding more than 20 times a day is because he's hungry and I'm not producing enough milk!

We have now settled for a routine where I breastfeed on both sides for 20 mins each and thereafter top it up with formula till he takes it in. My baby is feeding about 8-10 times a day and sleeping more, which gives me some amount of free time, finally!

Im glad you are feeling more positive about the whole situation.
Did the doctor give you any indication of why you may not be producing enough milk? If it is a hormonal issue such as Thyroid issues or polycystic ovaries you may need treatment for your own wellbeing.

 

[Elsa50501]

It seems like the new dr is much better for your family situation. I'm glad you're getting some relief from the constant feeds. My daughter fed at least every 1hr 45 min as an infant, and sometimes more than that in the early days, it really can be exhausting! That was without supply struggles, so I can't imagine how you were doing!