Newly single mom of infant -- How do you do it?

[C02152014]

When we conceived, the plan was for me to stay home with our son until he was of age to attend pre-school. When my son was 4 months old, his father and I filed for divorce. Now four months later, we're almost done with the divorce settlement (I hope). I won custody and the court's approval to relocate back to my home state with the baby (but that means his father isn't close to help at all).

What I can't figure out is, how do I navigate being a single mom of a child so young and returning to work eventually? Spousal support will be very short since we had a short marriage so my months home with the baby are now limited. I'm trying desperately to stretch the funds to stay home with my son until he's 18mo (but ideally 2yo, though that's looking less likely .

Once I return to work, I can't figure out when I'll see my son. I have bad joints due to an auto accident plus I need to lose baby weight, so I need to add the gym back to my schedule soon (and swimming due to joint issues makes gym time longer) plus commute to from work, plus work itself... when do I see my son? I'd go from 24 hours per day to 1.5 hours before he has to go to bed.

How do other parents do this? I just don't think that much time with daycare or a sitter is good for such a young child.

And what about my own doctor appointments? Where do they fit into the mix? I guess I'm just wondering the schedules of other people and how this all works out, because so far this is what I see as the future, and it's so not working for me:

4am Wake, eat light breakfast, get dressed for gym
4:30am Drive to gym / swim (doc orders) / weights / rinse off / drive home / shower / prep for work [[ While baby is sleeping - where do I even find a sitter for this early in AM and only for a couple hours as daycare at gyms don't usually open until office hours of 8 or 9am??]]
6:30am Prep baby for daycare
7am Commute to daycare
7:30am Drop off baby at daycare
8am Arrive at work
5pm Leave work
5:30pm Get baby from daycare
6pm Arrive home (feed baby / eat dinner / bathe baby / read to baby / cuddle baby)
7:30pm Baby to bed (so he can rise at 6:30am)
8pm Clean/pay bills/etc.
8:30pm Go to bed (since it takes me 1-2 hrs to shut brain off and fall asleep) so can wake at 4am
8:30pm-4:30am Tend to baby when he wakes during night

In addition to only having 1.5 hours with my son, this is a tight schedule and leaves no room for error, traffic, baby tantrums or blowouts, etc.

Help! Advice needed as I just don't see how this will work. How do you do it?

 

[stephx]

I would forget the gym, and do home exercise while he's in bed.

Luckily I work part time but will be returning to full time soon 8-6pm. There's no way I could get up at 4am each morning as well as working!

 

[moomin_troll]

Would you be entitled to any help from the state to help for a short period?
But plenty of single mothers to more then one child go back to work and somehow it just works.
But I'd also forget the gym and find a workout plan for home. Do you have to swim everyday?
You might also be able to find a job with better working hours.

 

[daneuse27]

Going back to work is hard, but I think the idea of it is a lot worse than it sounds. I do agree that some kids are at daycare for hours longer than what I'd be comfortable leaving my own daughter there - but in general I think there are a lot of benefits to going. My daughter was in a daycare centre last year for about 40 hours a week, and loved it. She was excited every morning to go (from age 1- 20 months.) This year she's in pre-school, and a home daycare and enjoys those both very much too. What kind of work do you do? Do you even know for sure that you would be working those types of hours?

Would it help at all if I told you that going back to work at 2 won't be much easier than it is at 1? I think nomatter what age, it is hard to leave our babies in the care of others who we know don't love them as much as we do. My daughter's 2 now and it's still sad for me sometimes, but I tell myself that a) she's having fun there and b) I wouldn't be able to give her the same variety at home that she gets there and c) I'm starting a good career, earning money and building a nice life for us - therefore being a good role model for her and someone she can be proud of one day.

As for working out, have you tried the 30 day shred videos? They are 30-min long workouts, but very intense so it is about an hour's worth of work in only half the time. I've had a lot of success from doing these, and they definitely make it easier for those of us who are busy or lazy (not that you're lazy; I am.)

I understand you need the swimming for medical reasons; could you look look into Mom and Tot swimming programs or just general public swimming so that your son could join you and you kill two birds with one stone?

 

[C02152014]

Thanks for the tips!

 

[funinthesun]

Is there a gym near your work? Maybe you could go in your lunch break.