newly single mum completely lost

[mammy2oaklen]

Hiya

I'm a newly single mum to 3 little boys aged 5 , 3 and 18 months. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do I'm so lost. My husband has left me says he doesn't love me family life isn't what he wants anymore. I'm still completely in love with him and really really don't want this. I've found a house with help of my family and moving in just under 2 weeks I seem to be coping with the practical side of everything but the emotional side I'm really really struggling.
I'm scared I will be alone forever who will want me a single unemployed mum of 3 young boys.
I'm constantly worried my ex will move on and meet someone and I will be stuck in the place I am now of loving him and hating the way my life has turned out.
I gave up everything work, family I moved where his job required us too he earned alot of money and enabled me to be a sahm and now I have to claim benefits and rely on his maintenence I feel like a fraud like I don't deserve these benefits I should be out working not sitting at home with my kids.
Sorry for ranting I'm just desperate for someone to tell me it gets better it won't always feel this rubbish. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks lovely ladies x

 

[Springflower]

My soon to be ex husband had various affairs which all came to light at once. I tried to work it through with him but discovered he was still seeing his latest one. I felt I had no option but to divorce him.

I started proceedings a year ago and we are still in the process. This time last year I was an absolute mess. All I could do was make sure the girls were ok but I was like a zombie. Not eating not sleeping. A year on, sleep is still a problem but it's better. I no longer cry and I'm starting to see there could be another life for me. It's hard but I'm ok. I still love him but our relationship is over.

Hang in there. I know how awful it is but it does get better. I found a local single mummies Facebook group and that helped me massively.

 

[Tropiclands]

It does sound like you may be struggling with depression because of your feelings of worthlessness and how you seem unable to see anything different. If these are indeed truths, then please seek help. I can assure you that God has brought this situation into your life for a reason and will give you the strength that you need to deliver you from this. I will also talk with you if you'd like. Thanks.

 

[Springflower]

Have you started claiming benefits? You will be able to get child benefit and child tax credit. I hate claiming but atm it's not worth me working as me wage would just go in child care. I'm going to start again once my youngest starts school. I'm actually looking forward to it.

 

[mammy2oaklen]

I've sent off my form for tax credit but haven't actually got anything yet and I obviously have maintenance and then I need to claim housing benefit too. I know it makes sense to claim as I would also be worse off in work just hate this situation he's left me in x

 

[Noria]

Stop feeling guilty as he is the one who left you! Try to get a job and keep yourself busy!