Newly single mum, just found out am pregnant again - what do I do??

[LittleLemon]

Hello, I took a pregnancy test on Saturday and it came out positive. This would be fantastic news, had it not been for my now ex-partner who has not been there for our 9-month-old son much since birth and only briefly came back to our lives again "for another try". He messed it up again so he had to go (it was for the best, believe me) and I was just coming to terms with now focusing on only myself and my gorgeous son.

And now found out the ONE time we were intimate the whole month we stayed together (we used protection!!) got me pregnant again. The most fertile person on Earth, or what? I know every child is a blessing, I love my son to bits and it's been a really tough year for me emotionally with my relationship breaking down (been together 4 years)... but how will cope with another baby?? With Daddy not around? I know many women have coped just fine and I DO NOT want to terminate this pregnancy.. but what is the most sensible thing to do?
I'm 27 by the way, and the father of my son + this LO is and will probably always be absent more or less- he wasn't a very nice person as it turned out...
I have no family in the UK so no close network as such.. I do work full-time at the moment and coping as I have family over looking after my son for now, but two children?

I can't get my head round what's happening, help!
I always wanted two kids close of age and this really would be amazing if I could pull off, but my mum is extremely worried about me and mums are always right - right?

Anyway, I was hoping someone could share their views on all this, I'd appreciate any advice.
Thank you

 

[LittleMadam]

Hi!

I've not been in your situation (although I am a single mum) but I decided to relocate near my parents a few months before my daughter was born for their help and support (and I only have one!) Is this an option for you? Or are you thinking of adoption?

xx

 

[LittleLemon]

Thanks, yeah my relatives all live in Sweden (where I'm originally from) and I've no desire to move away from where I live... although I do have my sister over who is looking after my boy whilst I work full-time. Just terrified of a life where I'm dependant on state benefits, which I imagine would be my only option should I keep this baby

Adoption would be a nicer thought than ending the pregnancy altogether, but I don't think I could give him/her up when push comes to shove.

Impossible situation, to say the least.. Seeing a counsillor next week who will try and help me get my thoughts sorted on this...

 

[LittleMadam]

Counselling is a great idea! And, to be frank, lots of women raise two LOs singlehanded so you won't be alone. If this is the path you choose then utilise all the support you can get. Be it benefits, help from family and friends, etc, and just look to the future.

Oh, and although most Mums provide all the love and support they can, does not mean they are always right. You're a mum, would you say you know it all? I would say that you know yourself and your limits. If you feel you can cope with two then you have your answer.

Best!

 

[jaala]

Hi I just wanted to let you know I have a 10 month old son and im 6.5 months pregnant.. Im single too. It sucks but its better than being with a wingnut! My ex had a temper problem so its really for the best.
I know how confused you are right now and how much of a shock to the system it is.. but it does get better whatever you choose it gets better.
(((HUGS))))