No 3 and no hope :-(

[red]

Hi,
This is the first time i've been on a forum, often looked but been too afraid to post
Last week i had my 3rd miscarriage in a year and i'm finding it really hard, i think i've been pretty numb since it happened but today it finally hit me and i can't stop crying. I don't no what to do so i thought posting here might help.

Thought i might help if i told my story.....

My first was a missed miscarriage, (Feb 08) saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and found out it died at 12, had a d&c. horrible experience, i was sent to the gyno ward where i had to wait for 5 hours while sitting in an area where other women had abortions, finally got to see a doc who asked me if i knew why i was there? I found this very hard and just wanted to leave. A d&C was scheduled for 4 days later. My other half was working overseas and managed to get back the night before. Op went ok but i had to take a couple of weeks off work, my OH went bak which i found very hard.

2nd (Sept 08) I started to bleed at 6 weeks. It was BH monday so went to emergency - they referred me to EPU and i had scan. Detected heart beat but said i needed more tests. Had HCG tests on the mon and again on the wed, it had gone up but not doubled - they told me it could be etopic. had scan and everything was fine but then at 9 weeks i started to bleed, i decided i didn't want op and would do it at home. ended up in severe pain and my OH took me to the hospital. they told me it was stuck. put me on morphine (which helped) - horrible experience. after i felt numb

3rd (feb 09) less traumatic - i was only 5 weeks and it felt like a heavy period but nothing else. my partner said 'well, it's not as bad as before!' but...it was, ok the pain wasn't the same but it still hurt.

Recently been to the hop for blood tests, they told me there is only a 1% chance I will get an answer. Want an answer, but what i want most is to be able to have baby.

Please give me hope

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[surreysharon]

Sorry to hear of all the pain that you have had over the last year. I cannot imagine how hard each of those times has been for you. Ive only have one MC and i know i am terrified of getting pregnant again for the fear of what will happen (my ovaries are a complete mess also)

But likewise being a mother is my dream and i have to carry on in the hope it will all be ok. I think that despite the terrible hardness that you have gone through you would go through it all again if you have the end result you want. This is why you have to have hope hunni. The desire outways the terrible pain we feel when we miscarry.

Just take a little while to process the 3rd MC and then try again when you and your OH are ready. Im confident in the fact that if you got pregnant 3 times in a year that you will carry a baby full term soon... you have to have this inner belief to survive

A huge sincere hug to you xx

 

[Barneyboo]

Hi Red, firstly I want to say I am so sorry for all of your losses I really hope that you do get some answers, I to have had 2 miscarriages just exactly the same as your first 2, my gynae has said that if I get pregnant again to take baby aspirin even though I have not been found to have the sticky blood syndrome he said that it wouldn't do any harm and that it helps the flow of blood to the uterus.

We will all always be here for you whenever you need advice or just a keep us posted and take care x x x x

 

[red]

thank you surreysharon & boobabyo4 for your quick replies. your messages gave me hope but also made me cry - its so hard to stay strong but we do!
x

 

[RobenR]

I'm very sorry for all your losses and pain. I remember waiting for the consult for my D&E and the receptionist handed my husband and I paper saying "Things you should know about your abortion." I flipped out over that.

You are strong enough to have made it this far, and you will have a baby. This is a great and supportive forum, vent as you need to, cry if you have to. We're all here.

 

[Rebaby]

I am so sorry for your losses I had an early mc last month and i am petrified of becoming pregnant again for fear of losing it, even though like yourself, it is also what i want most in the world right now too... I think you must be incredibly brave and strong to have got through this tough year, even though you may feel like you're neither right now.

I hope you do get some answers from the hospital and that once your ready you get a speedy and a sticky bean this time.

Big to you and your OH.

 

[MrsO29]

Sorry to hear about the m/cs.

I had the exact same as your last two.
The first one got stuck and was ripped out of me with no pain relief after 8 hours sitting bleeding over a hospital toilet. Horrific.
The second was a m/c at 6 weeks at home like a heavy clotty period.

My Doctor told me that if I were to m/c this one that would make 3 and they would start investigating, but you are saying there is only a 1% chance they can find out whats wrong???

Oh dear

I wish you the best for the future

 

[Omi]

Hiya, and so sorry for your losses hun..

I obviously dont know your history so i cannot comment on why they would say you only have 1% chance of finding something.

I had 2 mc last year and due to my (advanced, lol) age i have been for testing for recurrent mc's. From what ive read you have a 50/50 chance of finding something.

In any case they did find something with me ( but not what was suspected to begin with- we and they suspected a blood clotting problem but i came out with an under active thyroid being the reason for my mc's) and im now just waiting for further tests and have been told not to ttc under any circumstance.

The good news is that with or without finding a reason, you are statistcially more likely to go on to have a healthy baby than not. Know that and believe it!

Its been a horrible year for you and i can only hope and pray you find some peace of mind, some inner strength to go on and the hope to believe in a future with a baby in it.

All the best, hun!

Big , Omi xxx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

heya hun im sorry i no what its like last year i suffered my 4 m/c. I fast tracked for all testing as it was my 4th in 18months.. i did get answers. i dont understand how the dr says youl only got a 1% chance of a answer.. go and demand blood tests and genetic testing... takes 3+ months for answers but once you have them you no the way forwards weather it be you have a clean bill of help and the m/c's have no answer or they find a answer for the m/cs. As unlucky as it sounds i found my answer, its a bad answer something i didnt want but now i can move forwards..

Id go to your gp and ask to be refered for all testing as youv had multiple m/cs and your entitled to testing

goodluck
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[becky77]

So sorry for your losses hun,i have just had my 2nd early m/c and like you am desperate for answers as to why.
give yourself time to grieve your losses and then demand some tests.
i wish you loads of luck and am sure you will hold your baby in your arms one day .xxx

 

[red]

thanks for all your lovely and supportive messages, so many people go through this but so often its not spoken about. I often spend hours in the day questioning everything i did or didn't do but i'm beginning to realise sometimes there is no answers.

re: testing; me and my OH gave had to give some blood samples. 1 test for genetic make-up, 1 for sticky blood and the other i didn't understand (i should have asked!) I'm not sure if any different tests can be done after this. Its such a confusing time - you don't want anything to be wrong but you do want to be able to rectify the problem so it doesn't happen again.

Again, thank-you for your advice and wishes - you're all amazing women xxx

 

[Barneyboo]

And so are you lovely lady! Take it easy and take each day as it comes and trust me I know I have been searching for unanswerable answers for the past 2 years its now I realise that NOTHING I could have done would have prevented the m/cs happening..my heart goes out to you big x x x x

 

[Omi]

Most likely, well, the ones they usually do for mc's is Karyo typing (checking yours and your oh's chromosomes) , for antibodies in the blood (blood clotting issues/sticky blood etc), checking your kidneys, you liver, your thyroid and your folic acid and b12 levels.

Hope that helps a bit- and hope you get some answers. When do you find out btw?

 

[lauraperrysan]

hi red, i too am currently suffering my 3rd miscarriage in 13 months....it's devestating. i too am going to go for testing and see what, if any problems there are.
fingers crossed one day we will hold the baby we long for...... 'good things come to those who wait' this keeps me going
xx