no contact with fob

[lauram_92]

Hiya I'm just wondering if anyone else has no contact with fob? I haven't spoken to him since i was twelve weeks pregnant and he has made it clear he never wants to see our son or even have contact with our son. It still gets to me and i hate imagining the future and having to explain it all to oliver. Guess all im wanting it moral support from people in the same situation.

 

[louloubelle76]

yeah me and after what he done I dont want to hear from him, your welcome to message me

here is what happened to me

https://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/823877-feel-so-used-fooled.html

x

 

[Strawberrymum]

I don't I haven't spoken to him since we broke up i was 19 weeks pregnant. I have however seen him 3-4 times while meeting with his mum so she could see LO he said nothing to me i said noting to him. his mum literally had to drag him to come. I see her once or twice a year.

PM me if you ever want to talk

 

[teal]

I have absolutely no contact with FOB. Feel free to pm me anytime xx

 

[lauram_92]

Sometimes I rather that he has no contact but other times I feel so low and jealous of what other people have. Just he word dad makes me feel awkward. I dont even like to call my own father that with Oliver in the room. My friends buy him books without looking at them and it is full of my dad does this, my dad does that and I dont know what to do with them. I just want to burn them!

I'll pm you guys later on when I'm on my laptop. Would be so good to get to know people in the same situation.

 

[bumphenders]

I love this post - for the soul fact its slightly different to single parents as a while iykwim?

Like, other posts are people who have the FOB's involved, this doesn't.

FOB isn't involved anymore either, feel free to read my other posts about him...

Also anyone can PM me if they need to talk

 

[Bumpi]

yep .. same here .. we've been in text contact 3 times since i found out i was pregnant at 5 weeks (am now 26 weeks) .. the last time was just after my 12 week scan when he asked 'did you get dates, is it healthy' my reply: yep and yep .. the past couple of days I have been wondering if I should contact him, but then think to myself if he cant be bothered then why should I .. yep I am a stubborn cow lol xx

 

[lauram_92]

I love this post - for the soul fact its slightly different to single parents as a while iykwim?

Like, other posts are people who have the FOB's involved, this doesn't.

FOB isn't involved anymore either, feel free to read my other posts about him...

Also anyone can PM me if they need to talk

I feel like I can't relate to people who have split from fob but still have him involved because it is such a different situation. Their children still have dads. They don't have to feel the guilt or handle all the responsibilities on their own.

 

[Bumpi]

I love this post - for the soul fact its slightly different to single parents as a while iykwim?

Like, other posts are people who have the FOB's involved, this doesn't.

FOB isn't involved anymore either, feel free to read my other posts about him...

Also anyone can PM me if they need to talk

I feel like I can't relate to people who have split from fob but still have him involved because it is such a different situation. Their children still have dads. They don't have to feel the guilt or handle all the responsibilities on their own.

My son is 10, and he has a different 'father' to Sophie who I am carrying now .. my story is sooo long so wont go into it all on here .. but need to say to you please dont feel any guilt .. if the father does not want to be involved, then why should you feel guilty?
When David was about 5 a neighbours son kept pushing and pushing .. he knew David did not have a father but kept asking and mentioning it to David when we were all walking to school .. David turned round and said to him 'I dont need a dad, I have my mum, she is my Mumdad' .. that said it all for me (and yes I did cry) .. If your child at 5 can come out with something like that then you know you've made the right decision and have nothing to feel guilty for xx

 

[bumphenders]

I love this post - for the soul fact its slightly different to single parents as a while iykwim?

Like, other posts are people who have the FOB's involved, this doesn't.

FOB isn't involved anymore either, feel free to read my other posts about him...

Also anyone can PM me if they need to talk

I feel like I can't relate to people who have split from fob but still have him involved because it is such a different situation. Their children still have dads. They don't have to feel the guilt or handle all the responsibilities on their own.

I know exactly what you mean!! I have tried so hard with FOB, like mentioned in my past posts and I just feel like I shouldn't be giving up, but I don't have a choice anymore, I can't deal with the stress and upset :/

 

[bw1691]

Fob used to come and see alfie once a week, when he could be bothered, and mostly got cancelled by him and ended up being more like once a month. We were stuggling to arrange a day for him to see Alfie as we both had busy weeks (April '11) and we havent heard from him since. In some peoples opinion this is wrong of me, but i havent tried to contact him as he only stayed for half an hour, never provided anything for Alfie or even showed much interest in Alfie, most of the visit was spent trying to wind up and pick fights with me and my mum. But i couldnt care less, Alfie is an incredibly happy boy so things can stay this way as far as im concerned. One Birthday and Christmas has passed and still nothing, so i think he's made his decision now. Feel free to message me if you want to rant xx

 

[Bumpi]

Fob used to come and see alfie once a week, when he could be bothered, and mostly got cancelled by him and ended up being more like once a month. We were stuggling to arrange a day for him to see Alfie as we both had busy weeks (April '11) and we havent heard from him since. In some peoples opinion this is wrong of me, but i havent tried to contact him as he only stayed for half an hour, never provided anything for Alfie or even showed much interest in Alfie, most of the visit was spent trying to wind up and pick fights with me and my mum. But i couldnt care less, Alfie is an incredibly happy boy so things can stay this way as far as im concerned. One Birthday and Christmas has passed and still nothing, so i think he's made his decision now. Feel free to message me if you want to rant xx

i dont think its wrong of you at all .. if he wanted to know his son then he would be in touch wouldnt he xx

 

[louloubelle76]

I feel like im letting my little girl down but i think why should i contact him all the time, he has hands and fingers he can use them on bloody facebook he can use them to text or call me

 

[Bumpi]

I feel like im letting my little girl down but i think why should i contact him all the time, he has hands and fingers he can use them on bloody facebook he can use them to text or call me

that's exactly how I feel .. but i know my FOB won't xx

 

[bumphenders]

I feel like im letting my little girl down but i think why should i contact him all the time, he has hands and fingers he can use them on bloody facebook he can use them to text or call me

that's exactly how I feel .. but i know my FOB won't xx

Me too!

 

[peapod11]

I am in the exact same position! Bf of 4yrs decided to leave because he fist want to be a dad! I'm 16weeks pregnant! He hasn't and won't come to any of my scans as in his words he's afraid he will get attached, very unsure y he wouldn't want to even try! So in the space of a month, our relationship has gone from living together ad talking alot throughout the day to him not even being in contact once in 2weeks! It's so hard dealing with breaking up with my bestfriend, dealing with him not being in my child's life at all, and how he has treated me! I don't no if he will come around! I'm so against getting in contact him as I have said how I felt and he's the one not wanting to be with me or my child and i can't force him to be a dad

 

[Dezireey]

I haven't seen FOB for three months when he told me that there was no hope for us as he didn't want the baby and I did. I think he thought he could call my bluff but it backfired on him as I have kept my baby son.

At first we still texted every now and again, sometimes nice texts sometimes a bit strained but he has NEVER once asked about his child and when I asked on the day that we broke up, whether he was even going to attend the birth, he just shook his head and said no.

I think the anger has boiled up inside me so much about his behaviour these last few weeks that two weeks ago I went ballistic on him via e-mails and several texts. Everyone said I should leave him alone, don't push him as he will go further away but it's easy for them to say, their heart is not breaking in two about being dumped by someone you loved and the power this man has over changing such a momentous occasion in my life (e.g don't we all dream that we want the perfect partner, kids and happy ending and the father of our child is at least in our child's life? I feel so angry that he just took that dream away from me in just a few words)

I told two of his friends that I was having his baby and he has left me, he hated that I did that and tried to be all nicey nicey to me and said he never wanted to fall out with me (yeah to save his own reputation no doubt) He told me to call him whenever but he hasn't lifted a finger to contact me at all. After my recent outbursts, he ignores me completley.

Sorry to ramble on but the title of the thread really gets to my heart. I would just have much preferred it, if he told me he didn't love me at all and never wanted to be with me again, yet wanted to get totally involved with my baby's birth and life. I know I am going to have to tell that little one's face one day that he hasn't got a daddy/ daddy can't be with him. That is what hurts soooo badly and I am livid with pure anger at the moment that that man has done this to this tiny little innocent person

I do get people saying he may come around when he is born and once he sees him he will melt but I think that's a pile of rubbish. If he can do this to a pregnant woman and just ignore her and disappear, there is no way he will
'come around' when his son is born.

 

[XoXKittyXoX]

Theres one book you should look at ... you can google it.. Its called " My Mom Can Do Anything" Hope this will help..

 

[peapod11]

Theres one book you should look at ... you can google it.. Its called " My Mom Can Do Anything" Hope this will help..

Thank u

 

[TattiesMum]

I don't know how this is going to be received, but in all honesty I envy you girls without FOBs in the picture

Most of the really stressful stuff involved when you are a single parent seems (in my experience) to be caused by FOBs ... they drop in and out of lives, make threats, send solicitors letters, take us to court, lie, don't help a bit, make unreasonable demands, introduce short term girlfriends or have long term ones that try to take over, have pushy parents, won't stick to visitation schedules, stir up trouble with mutual acquaintances ... the list is bloody endless

I know it's hard work doing it all on your own, but those of us with FOBs still in the picture still have to do that (they are rarely any use in any practical or financial sense ) and have an endless source of grief I wish both my ex and my Grandson's FOB would just vanish off the face of the earth