Not allowed a homebirth or birth centre birth! Any advice?

[babyno9]

Whoever thought it would be so hard to get the birth you want?! I've had 8 babies and not delivered any of them the way i wanted.

With my first i was only 18 and didn't really have a clue about all the possible options so i gave birth in hospital. My son sadly died due to complications of a GBS infection that was missed at birth.

With my second baby i wanted to go to hospital anyway just to make sure she was ok.

With my 3rd and 4th i asked for a homebirth and i was given no option but to go to hospital due to the GBS infection my son had at birth.

With my 5th, 6th and 7th i asked for a homebirth but was told no due to me being 'high risk' of haemorrhage, apparently the more babies you have the more likely you are to haemorrhage.

With my 8th i asked for a homebirth again but was told no, when i went into labour i went to hospital but was sent home contracting every 7 minutes but not dilating, i was told not to come back until my contractions were every 4-5 minutes. That never happened, my contractions got more painful but never closer together so i stayed at home. Baby ended up being born in my frontroom with DH delivering, I never went to hospital and had no drugs AT ALL. Delivered my placenta fine by myself with no help.

This time i have asked for a homebirth but have been told... surprise surprise... NO! I'm too high risk for a haemorrhage, same old story, i need to have a drip to reduce any bleeding after the birth and need a managed third stage of labour. FFS i did it all by myself last time didn't i, no drugs, no drip and no managed thrid stage.

So, i asked if i could give birth at the birth centre, its located right next to the labour ward in the same building. I've been told a big fat NO. WHY?! I see myself as low risk, i can't be that much of a worry as i've not seen a consultant at all this time and the last antenatal appointment i had was 12 weeks ago! Yes i may be a 'higher' risk but i wouldn't say i was 'high risk'. I don't see why i can't have the baby at the birth centre, if anything goes wrong all they have to do is go two seconds down the corridor.

Has anyone else been successful in having baby no.6+ at home or at a birth centre? What did you say to get what you wanted?

 

[Shrimpy]

Sorry no experience of the being told no because of multiple births but last time I had to go to the big hospital due to GBS and I was desperate to have this one in a birthing centre due to my experience but because I have a random antibody thing going on, again I've been told no so I do understand your frustrations. I would love to be able to tell them to bog off and I'll give birth where I want but then in the back of my mind my sensible head comes into play and tells me that although it's not what I want, they wouldn't be recommending it unless it's for a good reason and for the health and safety of my baby. It definitely sucks camel ass but it's a small sacrifice to make to have a healthy baby. Your case is different to mine though so there may be some leeway somewhere? I hope you manage to find a middle ground where you'll be happy with your birth

 

[kiwimama]

I'm not sure exactly on how high the risks are when you have had 8 babies previously but I simply cannot understand why you would not be able to birth in the birth centre that's right next door to the hospital?! Ridiculous!
Do you have someone who can come with you when you next see your consultant that will be able to support you? Because I think you are basically going to have to say, this is what I want, this is what is going to happen. When I go into labour, I'll be turning up at the birthing unit, so you'd better have me booked in there and ready to go.
I hope you can get the birth you want, after so many times of having to go to the hospital.

 

[Noodlejuice]

I really hope you get what you're hoping for honey - I'm in a weird situation at the moment whereby they're saying I might not be able to give birth on the birth centre (down the corridor from the main delivery suite) because of a history of depression...er, wtf? I had my last two babies on birth centre, I only had problems when I was unexpectedly moved to the ward as they couldn't get a paediatrician (sp?) down and had a horrible experience there...with my second I had my lovely birth, a fast discharge and was happy at home...le sigh.

I think sometimes the red tape in the NHS gets a little ridiculous - policies over common sense! Definitely try to hold out for what you want xxxx

 

[Shrimpy]

Oh, I just remembered something my consultant said to me ... he said whilst I would be booked in at the big hospital IF I were to find myself going into labour whilst closer to the birthing unit then they wouldn't turn me away if I turned up there. I have quick labours so they would let me give birth there as it's preferrable than giving birth in an ambulance on the way to the other hospital. Maybe something to think about/gently enquire about if you're 100% certain that you and little one will be fine at a birthing centre.



ETA: bum, I see this may not work as both departments are in the same building poo!!

 

[lozzy21]

They are not allowed to tell you you cannot have a homebirth as it is your choice. They can give you the facts and say they would not advise it but they cannot stop you. If you want a home birth simply tell them you are having one and legaly they have to support you.

Check out homebirth.org, im sure there is something on there about having "too many" children for a homebirth.

I was told i couldent have a homebirth because of my BMI but i told them i was having one and my midwife has been supportive

 

[Ju_bubbs]

They are not allowed to tell you you cannot have a homebirth as it is your choice. They can give you the facts and say they would not advise it but they cannot stop you. If you want a home birth simply tell them you are having one and legaly they have to support you.

Check out homebirth.org, im sure there is something on there about having "too many" children for a homebirth.

I was told i couldent have a homebirth because of my BMI but i told them i was having one and my midwife has been supportive

^ exactly what she said!

 

[babyno9]

Thanks! I've been looking at the websites that have been mentioned on here and will go armed with info next week when i see my midwife. If she insists the answer is no or is not very helpful then i'm going to write to the head of midwifery and tell them my intention of a homebirth and that they will attend. Sounds good in theory but i know i'm going to have a fight!

 

[lozzy21]

I thought i was going to have to have a fight but she surprised me.

 

[hopedance]

good luck hun. maybe go there with the intention that you aren't going to have a fight over it because you do not need their consent. you don't have to persuade them to allow you a home birth, just let them know that you are having a home birth and will let them know when you need them to come and help deliver your LO.

 

[chuck]

Birth centres have to have very tight rules concerning who can birth there as there are no OB's or Dr's there. The MW's arent able to deal with complications - yes it seems silly if the centre is next to a maternity unit but tha=ey cant have one rule for one and not another.

It pisses me off as I missed out on a birth last time and got transferred to hospital and had my baby removed with all the ceremony of a tooth extraction in theatre without my husband or even a congratulations it's a boy!

I desperately want to avoid hospital I cant stand the idea of going back even to VBAC - I know I'll be set up to fail if I got to hospital.

Yet I'm dreading being told no for HB and still no to the birthing centre as I've had a section.

What makes me laugh is they say NO to HBAC as there's risk of uterine rupture - yeah a roughly 0.5% risk, whereas the risk of needing a CS is 25% for just about any birth yet they still let people HB???? WTF??!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

No advice, just wanted to say good luck and wowwie! Seven girls! My OH would have moved out in the back garden j/k

 

[My bump]

Sorry you can't have your homebirth hun!!!! I would love one too but can't. As you have had so many babies your uterus is more 'lax' and you could bleed very quickly and badly. It is most hospitals policy to give you a drip after to keep womb contracted due to this. In the old days women did do this fine after having 10-20 kids, but the risk is too great for the obs to advise you otherwise although it is not what you wish for.

I completely understand and feel your pain as I am in same position, just wanted to give you some of the info they may not have given you. It is the same reason also for the birth centre next door. But like others have said you can go against medical advice but it is at your own risk. Hope you make a decision and are happy, lots of love and luck for this time round xxxx