OBEM has scared me :(

[Ellberry]

I've just scared myself silly

I love one born every minute and it always makes me cry but watching tonight has just made me so scared that it wont happen how I want it to happen

I know I have to keep in mind the worst may happen and blah blah blah but nearly everything that I saw tonight is not what I want for our baby!!!

I'm really hoping that the more I learn and prepare the more likely it is I will have things the way I want (I should be saying we want really) i.e no pain relief, water birth, home birth, no intervention, delayed cord clamping, breastfeeding etc etc thats not too much to ask is it???

I know I'm probably just being silly, would just be nice for someone to reassure me that this can happen....I have only met one person in 'real life' that has managed the kind of birth we would like

 

[Tanikins]

Just remember obem is a show - they want viewers!!! There not going to show the straight forward no fuss labours

Im sure you'll be fine - try not to worry

 

[Sam Pearson]

It can happen. Most women I know birth like me - at home, no drugs, sometimes no midwives. We rarely have issues and when we do we transfer. My advice would be to not watch that show. I''m not pregnancy and I can't bear watching it because it's all so wrong and nothing like what normal birth is like.

My thoughts are you need to start how you want to finish - so if you are happy to finish up in hospital and happy to have a surgical birth then book into a hospital or birth center and hire a surgeon. If you want to have a natural homebirth then book an independent midwife or prepare for a freebirth. Some women have natural births in hospital - my sister was one of those but she is an exceptional woman by anybody's standards - and at the end of the day it was still worlds apart from a homebirth.

When I was pregnant the first time I only watched medicated mainstream births and I read the usual mainstream birth prep books - I ended up with a hospital birth with drugs and interventions.

With my second birth I only watched videos and read stories of natural homebirths and I prepared for a natural home water birth attended by midwives...and I had a natural home waterbirth without any drugs with midwives.

With my third and fourth births I had swelled on my previous homebirth and worked out a few things that didn't sit well with me e.g. the midwives bringing medical equipment and being quite disruptive with their talking and wanting to touch me etc. So I didn't hire them and I only watched videos of and read stories of freebirths and didn't allow anybody to tell me their horror stories and I only shared my plans with other freebirthers or those who supported freebirths and I had two natural freebirths and they were both wonderful.

Looking back on my births...while I did believe I wanted a natural birth each time I didn't always act like I did and I always got what I prepared for.

 

[cupcake23]

You may not know many people in real life but there are loads online with similar wishes to yours that have achieved it (me!) OBEM is a programmes that wants to show the extremes, it's real to the people it happens to but you are your own person and you will do what is right for you when the time comes.

 

[beetroot]

I love watching OBEM but it absolutely infuriates me. The mums are always on their backs on the bed, just like "ill" patients. Ive had 2 homebirths and the only time I was on my back was when the MW had trouble finding baby's heartbeat, so I had to lie down, and I can tell you THAT was agony!

It is possible to have a natural birth! I think preparation is key. Research active birth techniques, do relaxation or get a hypnobirthing cd to listen to every day, make sure your birth partner is supportive and BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO IT!

Labour and delivery is an unknown, and no-one knows what's going to happen on the day, but staying calm and focused will help you achieve your goal.

Good Luck

 

[solitaire89]

I can reassure you - I had a completely natural, drug free (and pain free) home birth with my first. It is possible My birth story is linked in my signature if you're interested.

The other thing I will say, is that it is worth getting a "toolbox" of things in place to help you achieve the birth you want. I used Natal Hypnotherapy, and a birthing pool, but also had aromatherapy, massage, music, and a whole host of other things which I held in stock but never used. If you're interested in Natal Hypnotherapy, now is a great time to start!

 

[fionar]

I had my first son at home and it was quick and lovely and complication free.

OBEM is such a load of garbage. Sorry, but it just... it's terrible. Don't let it scare you away from natural/home birthing, because it's everything that's wrong with birth. Scare tactics, unnecessary interventions, disrespect of mamas and the whole birth process... please don't let it color your view of birth. Watch it for entertainment if you will, but certainly not for education or an idea of what birth is like.

 

[madasa]

This is why I won't watch OBEM!

Repeat after me: "I do not consent."

Unless it is the most dire of emergencies, anything done after that is assault.

A straightforward homebirth with your wishes respected is completely possible, and if you are prepared and supported, it's very likely. Hang in there, and don't watch that programme if it upsets you

 

[madasa]

And to the folks who said that it's a TV programme and they want viewers, they won't show boring straight forward births..... Keep your eyes peeled for the documentary coming to ITV called "Home Delivery"

 

[Ellberry]

Thanks so much ladies!!!!!

I think I just had a wobbly I have known since before we got the positive what kind of birth we want and have never had a problem watching it just for entertainment...perhaps too cockily confident that mine wont be like that (in my head anyway ) but I think last nights just upset me (if you dont watch it there was a woman who had general anesthetic for cs so baby was pretty much out of it with no mum or dad for cuddles until much much later and then there was a cord that was cut instantly)

I guess it because I have done so much research and still hardly know anything it worries me that if even to me drugs/cord cutting early/lying on back seem like such a negative thing (I'm trying hard not to sound judgemental- I am such a strong believer in that its a womans choice to do what is best for them!!!!) and yet medical professionals act like its all the norm and whats meant to be done!

I have already booked/seen our homebirth midwife and am starting yoga/relaxtion antenatal classes in a week or so, plus will be looking more into hypnobirthing classes around here! I have gotten so many good snippets of advice on here and on different fb pages etc that I hope in another 6months I will be so prepared!!
When I think of giving birth at home in a pool it really doesnt scare me, well, the pain and doing it doesnt, I really cant wait!!! The only thing that does scare me is it going wrong and ending up in hospital, I just need to trust that my body will be able to do what women have been doing ever since we became mammals!!!!

Ohhhh madasa that sounds good!!! Any idea of when its due to be shown????

Again, thankyou so much for your advice and reassurance and I'm sorry for such a long rambling reply

xxx

 

[Ellberry]

Oh and im going to check out all your stories and links now