"Oooh she'll be jealous of the new baby you know"...

[Sunflowers]

So many people are saying that to me - apparently because I've worn her in a sling and bf her until she was 21 months and we co-sleep she is going to be insanely jealous of her little sister when she arrives..

What have people on here found? I would expect some jealousy, of course, but I wouldn't expect MORE? If anything I'd have thought AP would give a more secure toddler that accepts a new baby more easily? Or am I deluding myself?!

Any experiences appreciated!

 

[mummypeanut]

So many people are saying that to me - apparently because I've worn her in a sling and bf her until she was 21 months and we co-sleep she is going to be insanely jealous of her little sister when she arrives..

What have people on here found? I would expect some jealousy, of course, but I wouldn't expect MORE? If anything I'd have thought AP would give a more secure toddler that accepts a new baby more easily? Or am I deluding myself?!

Any experiences appreciated!

i dont have a kiddie but this sounds like an extention of the theory/assumption that AP babies are 'spoiled'.

i will watch with interest but i agree with ur theory about security

xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I think most or a lot of children go through a jealous stage when a new baby arrives whether that have been in a slind co slept or not. Just make sure you make her feel included like get her to get stuf for you. I am sure if she does get jelous she will soon overcome it
xx

 

[anothersquish]

I know my son is older (5) but I think it still applies as hes had five and a half years of ALL our attention!
Anyway hes not had a SECOND of jealousy....not at all. He LOVES his brother, he likes coming into our room in the morning (kicks his dad out!) so he can have a morning hug with me and Theo, he never causes fuss if Im feeding/carrying/holding Theo, same if his dad has him. Its just been a complete non issue.
I think he just doesnt feel like he has to fight for attention because he already knows if he needs us then we respond, straight away, any time baby or no baby. Hes never had to make a fuss to get attention, love, food so its just continued to be that way...though he sometimes repeats himself when hes hungry (boys!)

 

[PinkyLou]

Indie cried when she first met Lylah, but in all fairness we were in a strange place (hospital) and Lylah was screaming her little head off. As soon as I calmed Lylah down Indie was giving her kisses and still dotes on her now. Indie was and still does co-sleep so yes expect a little bit maybe but chances are within half an hour of them meeting she will be fine. x

 

[im_mi]

LOL ha ha ha ha! i dont understand why people are so obsessed with the notion that AP=insecure babies

I think the fact that her needs have been attended to completely means that she will be more secure and accepting of her sibling. 99% of kids get jealous of a new baby for a while, but im sure she will get out of it sooner than if her needs were being ignored.

My analogy is this: if your cup is full, you dont need to ask for more. if its half empty, you're always worried about it running out. Stick to your guns

 

[anothersquish]

My analogy is this: if your cup is full, you dont need to ask for more. if its half empty, you're always worried about it running out. Stick to your guns

Thats cute, I shall use that one myself when it comes up in convo!

 

[sezzlebum]

my eldest was 3 when i had my middle one, i dont think she was jealous but i think she did feel a bit pushed out to begin with, we bought her a big sister card and whenever i bought baby something i bought her something too and always made sure she got her hugs/kisses etcetc

she never tried to do anything to her sister, think she was scared of her lol

 

[Sunflowers]

We have bought her presents from the new baby - little things like an ITNG wooden shape puzzle, a book and a couple of little toys - not all of them will be given as presents from the new baby but they will, at least, be useful in the hospital to give her new toys to play with when she comes in!!

 

[purple_socks]

i dont have a kiddie but this sounds like an extention of the theory/assumption that AP babies are 'spoiled'.

i will watch with interest but i agree with ur theory about security

xx

i'd second this completely-i also suspect this is an extention of the 'spoiled' misconception!

its completely normal for toddlers to feel some level of jealousy 4 a new sibling because sharing mummy and daddy will b a whole new experience but i think there r loads of ways u can make them feel included/extra special for being a big sister...getting them involved etc.

My sil got her Lo a doll when his little brother was born so he could have his own 'baby' and join in on tasks like changing nappies (he could change his dolls nappy while sil changed his brothers etc) and u can even get little mini cloth nappies and slings!!

 

[Sunflowers]

I'd heard about the slings but forgotten, must see if they do a mini wrap sling!! We got her a doll for Christmas actually with it in mind to be her baby, must play with it more, thank you!

 

[purple_socks]

they do mini moby wraps!!!

Also u can make your own mini wraps (without having to sew) using a large strip of t-shirt type cotton...u don't have to sew the edges or anything coz that sort of material doesnt frey (frey? sp? fray? anywho..)

 

[pinkmummy]

I think every child will go through this stage whether they have been AP (whatever that is ) or not. Caitlin was not co-slept with, breastfed or in a sling yet she was insanely jelous of Thomas xx

 

[purple_socks]

I think every child will go through this stage whether they have been AP (whatever that is )

AP is attachement parenting

 

[claire-lou]

I agree any child will go through this but with the theory of AP you should have a more confident and independent little lady! You will all manage just fine