Parenting alone for the second time...

[Gilly2]

I dont get men,i think they just suck so badly. It was not part of my plan to be a single mom of 2 kids raising them alone...

My 5 year old daughter's father has AWOL'ED no support and wants her to come to him which she is not comfortable with doing. We were meant to get married but i decided against it.

THEN NOW
Was involved with this guy, we spoke marriage and kids now im expecting his child. he wanted me to abort the baby .... i am broken and crushed and as for me i dont know how i'll get through this but ONLY GOD KNOWS

 

[Dezireey]

I'm sorry you are going through this sweetheart. It is hard enough when one man walks off but to have it done twice...that is my worst nightmare to, to get involved again and for another man to go AWOL. Puts me off having any more children, that's for sure. It's a gamble these days I have realised, every time a woman decides to keep her baby. Even the midwives at my hospital said to me that they are seeing more and more women coming in of all ages, and lots that were in relationships and married having to give birth alone because the Dad has buggered off.

I had a conversation with my Grandma the other day and she thinks some young men today are the shits of humanity (her words!) in her day, men were honourable, did the right thing and even later when they didn't have to marry the mother, men looked after their children. Today...they behave, literally like animals...sow their seed, then bugger off to the next fertile female. I hope the government starts looking into the amount of decent, sensible women in relationships that are being left high and dry by men. The stereotype of 'single mum' is just that, a stereotype. There are married women these days getting dumped on by their husbands if he doesnt like the fact she is pregnant.

You must focus now only on your babies and yourself. Push that idiot and his behaviour to the back of your mind and take care of you. xx

 

[teal]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through it again xx

 

[lindad2604]

Im in the same boat honey but yo know what those men that left done you a favour! They arent worthy of you and you will some day meet someone that will adore you and your two kids. Chin up happier times are in front of you, just believe in it! x

 

[blu2]

I'm so sorry to hear. Going through something similar and i just think it is so unfair. I have a 7 yr old DS from a previous relationship and now i am expecting in Nov.
I never wanted this kind of life for me or my kids? I thought i had finally found the one this time.
Everyone else in my family is happily married with kids and i just feel like the family loser despite the fact that i am an intelligent career woman who has is successful in everything else...except relationships.
It sucks and i hate that once people (co-workers and extended family) know i have broken up with DP they’ll be sorry for me.
Sorry for the rant, just feeling so cheated right now.

 

[blu2]

You'll get through it! Just focus on you children.

 

[Gilly2]

Thank you all for your responses, today it feels like i cannot go on. I did scan yesterday i am now 8 weeks. i have been a horrid mom to my 5 year old who just feels too much for me to handle at times- i need to get past the hurt and pain. the rejection the deception it just all sucks - he promised me marriage a family. i am in south africa nd his from abroad so he promised to take my child and i with him overseas ---- i am just so broken its not even funny

 

[dustbunny]

You have to be strong for your LO's. Men suck, the majority of pathetic and stupid and say a lot of BS to get what they want and in all honest the majority of us here on this board have accepted the BS are truth. You say you have been a horrible mother but I am sure that's not true, you obviously love your child and your baby to even be seeking out advice and help. I would take this time to find yourself, to find what makes you who you are. Enjoy the pregnancy, try and get super excited about it. There is nothing wrong with being a single parent, it shows how strong you are.

 

[ravenmel]

At least your didn't fall for the same idiot twice. My ex was rubbish when we had the first baby hardly around more interested in others like friends girls etc but I wanted the happy ending too, silly me. So when I found out about baby # 2 I knew it would be me alone again and I'm cool with it. Needless to say relationship is over now and I'm pregnant and alone with a toddler and 1 on the way but I know it will be fine, as will you honey trust me.

 

[andrewlanesc]

I am sorry to hear this as it is not nice for anyone to have to go through this regardless of being a male or female. However, I think the main focus should be on the children and try and ensure they are ok, I know your own needs are important but when children are concerned, they need to be the priority.

Hopefully, you will get some luck soon and you will find a good guy to care for you and your children

 

[Shezza84uk]

At least your didn't fall for the same idiot twice. My ex was rubbish when we had the first baby hardly around more interested in others like friends girls etc but I wanted the happy ending too, silly me. So when I found out about baby # 2 I knew it would be me alone again and I'm cool with it. Needless to say relationship is over now and I'm pregnant and alone with a toddler and 1 on the way but I know it will be fine, as will you honey trust me.

WSS^^^^

I too fell for the same twat but we live and we learn just focus on your kids xx