Parents not supportive

[Katzalist]

Hi, I'm not really in my teenage years anymore (in my early 20's), but it seems that I can relate more to the people in this forum than other ones. I've unexpectedly found myself pregnant with my first child. I'm in college and I have a decent job. I've only been officially dating my boyfriend for a little over a month, but we've been seeing each other a few months longer than that and we've known each other for years. Anyways when I found out I was pregnant, he took it really well and has actually been excited. My parents, however, are less than thrilled. I wasn't expecting them to be excited, but I wasn't expecting the amount of negativity I have gotten so far. They made it clear that they're not mad, just disappointed, but they do think I have a moral responsibility to give the child up for adoption. They're convinced that it'll end badly for me, my boyfriend, and the baby if we try to keep it. There have been absolutely no discussions on the options of me keeping the baby. I told them I would consider it only if my boyfriend was okay with the idea since it's his baby too. As it turns though out he is not comfortable with adoption though and would rather chance it, so that's what we've decided to do. I'm incredibly nervous to tell my parents this... How do I tell them our decision without seeming disrespectful? Also what do I do if I lose their support because of our decision? I'm scared to do this without their support.

At the very least my boyfriend's dad and step mom handled the news really well. They were shocked, but already supportive; they told us they're not worried and that we'll make it. I'm happy that we have their support, but disappointed that my parents couldn't be supportive in that way.

*Partly edited as per the forum rules.

 

[17thy]

You are an adult. That is all there is to it. I have been married since I was 17, and we are due with our third baby any day now. You have to put your foot down at some point and let them realize that you are capable of making your own decisions, and it is their choice to eventually come around (which most do!!) or not. I'm sure after the shock wears off your parents will end up being supportive. For example, my dad cussed me out the night before my wedding haha (I had just left a few weeks before that and left a note that I was pregnant) it's been water under the bridge since then, been almost 5 years now in April.

 

[ClairAye]

It's not disrespectful to them as it is your body, your baby and your decision! I fell pregnant with my first just before turning 17 and my parents wanted me to terminate but I wasn't going to and my mum came around a little after a few weeks, my dad didn't really talk to me until I was 25 or 27 weeks or so and now he's such a proud grandad! It'll be a big shock to them but hopefully they will come around and respect your decision

 

[BabyCleo]

Im 23 Hello!!

I got pregnant 2 years ago with my husband (he wasn't my hubby then) and my mother lost it. Totally went nuts, even though we both worked and we had been together for a while and we lived together. It ended in a miscarriage, but she made it clear that she wasn't gonna help. After I lost the baby she told me she actually would have helped. Now I don't know if that's cause I lost the baby so she wanted to act nicer, but long story short im pregnant again (im 16 weeks) with my now hubby. She is over the moon excited.

If you want to raise your baby, then do it. They will come around eventually.

 

[BabyCleo]

I should probably mention to my above post that my last pregnancy was also with hubby, just we weren't married yet lol. same guy

 

[xforuiholdonx]

My husband and I got together when I was 16 years old, we fell pregnant about 8 months into our relationship (found out the day before I was 17, we mc'ed at 13w). After the miscarriage, we planned our little girl and she born the day before my 18th. It's been difficult at times, I've been a stay at home mom much of it but know so many people that have been in school or working while being a mom... Bottom line is that this. YOUR BODY AND YOUR BABY and your parents no longer have a say, not that they would have a say in this aspect anyway. It's not disrespectful to them, infact it's disrespectful of them to expect you to adopt out your baby. It's what you and your boyfriend want, and your family now. It'll be ok! Message me any time
Congrats by the way!!!! I'm Lisa, I'm 22. My husband is 24, my daughter Emma is 4 and our son Coltin is 18 months old