Playground / friends

[alibaba24]

I feel so sad for my daughter who tonight told me she asked to play with a couple of girls at school and one said "no your too small " at school they are teaching them to say "excuse me can I play " if they are alone. Anyway I know this typical playground stuff but when my dd who is 6 was telling me I was so emotional and trying not to show I could barely scrape together a response to reassure her. I did explain that wasn't kind of the girl and not how you should treat people but iv cried so much tonight thinking of her feeling sad at school alone. I plan to speak to the teacher tomorrow so they playground supervisors can keep an eye out. Has anyone else dealt with similar? How do you reassure your child ? I'm so hurt for her

 

[Natasha2605]

I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal? Not everyone wants to play with everyone else all of the time

Kids are kids and presumably your daughter just moved on and asked to play with somebody else?

I think all you can do is explain to her that yes it wasn't very nice but as long as she found somebody nice to play with then she shouldn't worry about it.

 

[LoraLoo]

I agree with the pp, but I do understand that it's upsetting as a parent to hear it. I definitely wouldn't be going in to school about it at this point.
Id try and explain to your child that we can't all have the same interests etc and some of the bigger girls may just want to play with the other bigger girls, and that she could always ask some other children, or ask the supervisors if they could help find a friend to play with.

Xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Aw bless your LO. This happened to Lucas once at the park, but honestly every kid there refused to play with him I felt so sad for him. He's soooo super sensitive though and it really affected him - literally, it was two years ago and he still brings it up.
I tried to rationalise it by saying (he was 4 at the time), that they were older and he probably wouldn't want to play with a little baby. I also use it as a frame of reference when I think he needs to be nicer to people ("remember how you felt when the kids in the park weren't nice to you" etc).

I think unfortunately reassuring her is probably as much as you can do. The teachers can't force kids to play with each other.
I found Lucas changed a lot towards other kids after his little incident at the park, which was very sad, but good in a way. He used to think everyone was like the kids on Cbeebies and if he asked someone to be his friend they'd run off together and play. He was so sweet, as soon as he met a new kid he'd say "I love my new friend, I hope they like hugs" - bless him!
He became much more wary since, particularly of older kids and people who might make fun of him, which I'm glad about. He lost his little innocent cuteness but he really takes no shit now and doesn't wait for others to make fun with.

I hope your LO feels better about it today

 

[mumspider]

I feel so sad for my daughter who tonight told me she asked to play with a couple of girls at school and one said "no your too small " at school they are teaching them to say "excuse me can I play " if they are alone. Anyway I know this typical playground stuff but when my dd who is 6 was telling me I was so emotional and trying not to show I could barely scrape together a response to reassure her. I did explain that wasn't kind of the girl and not how you should treat people but iv cried so much tonight thinking of her feeling sad at school alone. I plan to speak to the teacher tomorrow so they playground supervisors can keep an eye out. Has anyone else dealt with similar? How do you reassure your child ? I'm so hurt for her

Although it is typcial playground stuff, I can understand how hurt she and you must be. Exclusion is a form of bullying and although most kids will experience this multiple times throughout childhood, you're doing the right thing in my opinion. It may be worth seeing how things go over a few days to see if the situation changes. If not, then ask the supervisors to keep and eye.

It has happened to my daughter lots with children in her class and she is very sensitive to rejection, but I've told her to play with other friends if it happens again. Those same children who excluded her now play with her. Children can be so fickle, but hopefully other children will be more friendly towards your daughter which will give her some confidence.

 

[alibaba24]

I probably didn't word it very well . I know this happens and is a part of school life. I just needed to vent as it was heartbreaking to hear especially knowing my dd is sensitive. She wasn't trying to play with older girls it was other p1 girls. The fact they said she was too small hurt too because she is very small for her age and I don't want her having a complex about it. They are doing a lot in school about inclusion etc so it did hurt to think she put herself out there. Tried what the teachers have told her only to be rejected. I spoke with the playground supervisor this morning I don't want or expect her to be forced onto other pupils but I would like them to keep an eye out and help her if they see her alone all the time .

 

[mumspider]

I know this happens and is a part of school life. I just needed to vent as it was heartbreaking to hear especially knowing my dd is sensitive.

Totally understand. I felt heartbroken when it's happened to my DD, so I know exactly how you feel. Glad the supervisor can keep an eye out - it will give you peace of mind. x

 

[Kmx]

Can totally understand. That would break my heart. Me LO is due to start school this year and I am dreading any other chuld hurting his feelings - although I know it's normal and almost healthy that they face these circumstances.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I probably didn't word it very well . I know this happens and is a part of school life. I just needed to vent as it was heartbreaking to hear especially knowing my dd is sensitive. She wasn't trying to play with older girls it was other p1 girls. The fact they said she was too small hurt too because she is very small for her age and I don't want her having a complex about it. They are doing a lot in school about inclusion etc so it did hurt to think she put herself out there. Tried what the teachers have told her only to be rejected. I spoke with the playground supervisor this morning I don't want or expect her to be forced onto other pupils but I would like them to keep an eye out and help her if they see her alone all the time .

Bless her it's such a horrid feeling
I hope she's had a much better day.

 

[alibaba24]

Thanks everyone for replying and sharing your experiences x

 

[_jellybean_]

I would feel really bad too

 

[Boomerslady]

Aww bless her at my sons school they have friendship benches, so if anyone is lonely and needs someone to play with they can sit there, and generally someone will include them, or an adult supervisor would make sure they were ok. Does the school have anything like that?

 

[_jellybean_]

Aww bless her at my sons school they have friendship benches, so if anyone is lonely and needs someone to play with they can sit there, and generally someone will include them, or an adult supervisor would make sure they were ok. Does the school have anything like that?

I've never heard of that! It's a great idea!

 

[alibaba24]

Aww bless her at my sons school they have friendship benches, so if anyone is lonely and needs someone to play with they can sit there, and generally someone will include them, or an adult supervisor would make sure they were ok. Does the school have anything like that?

sadly not although I think its a great idea

 

[shadowlove]

I haven't had to deal with something like this yet, but I can just imagine how you must feel as her mommy. Bless her.

I am on the other side though......the other day we walked pass a girl in the shops and my girl said to me "mommy, I don't like that girl" and sadly said it loud so the other girl probably heard it. I said sorry to the mommy and told my daughter to say hello to the girl. After we walked out of reach I told my girl that what she said was not nice and that it would break the other girl's heart. The I asked her how she would feel if a strange girl told her she doesn't like her. She replied that she would be sad and then I explained to always be friendly to people. You don't always have to like everyone, but to say hello and exchange a smile is just enough.

I would like to teach her the same with making new friends and feel in a way teachers should try to keep an eye and maybe teach young children these principles.

 

[Tasha]

Our school also has the friendship bench and they also have the year five and six children come into the infant playground as buddies, they start group games, play with other children who are feeling lonely, read stories etc. I suggested both to the school if I was you.

 

[SophiasMummy]

This is why I'm glad my daughter goes to a really small school.

All the children play together there throughout the year groups, my LO has friends in every year group, they all get on so well. some kids might not want to play with others all the time but there's always someone who will want to play and the older children are very mindful of if they see a younger children by themselves talking to them and playing with them.

I think my daughter has said to me once that someone didn't want to play with her and I told her to play with someone else then and that she doesn't want to spend time with someone who doesn't want to spend time with her and she hasn't mentioned anything since but I know she isn't short of friends so it's not something i have to worry about luckily.

I hope your LOs ok