Please Give a First Time Mom to Be Advice

[mommy2be412]

I'm 34 weeks and I'm a first time single mom to be. Can someone please give me advice on how to do it? Some people had suggested to get family/friends to help, but I don't have that option and the father is totally out of the picture. I plan to breastfeed too. Any advice would be helpful.

 

[Mummy1995]

Don't give up breastfeeding no matter how hard it is it DOES get a lot easier! Just gotta persevere through it I personally think co sleeping is a must for single parents lol especially when breastfeeding. Ensures you get a better nights sleep! also I'd try and read up on and learn about baby wearing. That way if you have a baby who always wants cuddled like mine, you can keep them close whilst having your hands free to do things like cooking etc. also only buy the bare minimum! You can always buy more but it would save you a lot of money to just get the basics. Make time for yourself, go to baby groups once you've recovered from the birth. Even if you don't feel like going. Because you won't but if you stay in all day you could end up with postnatal depression like I did. Also you could try and do sure start things like baby massage and sensory they're a great bonding thing! Once you feel comfortable, (I didn't til Isabella could sit herself) then take baths with each other, gets you both clean in one, it's a fun play time and it really is a lovely bonding experience too

I'll add things if I think of anything more xx

 

[Mummy1995]

Just realized you're in USA so won't have sure start but I'm sure there's something similar there x

 

[teal]

I agree with mummy1995 that breastfeeding does get easier. I had cracked and bleeding nipples at first and lansinoh was a life saver! You could find out if there are any breastfeeding support groups near you.

Bathing together is also a lovely experience. I would also have my son in his bouncer or swing while I was in the shower.

I wasn't able to baby wear but if you can then sounds like an excellent idea. During growth spurts I found it helped to be well stocked with snacks and DVDs when my son wanted to feed for most of the day.

Being a single mother is associated with higher risk for PPD so if you have anyone who could keep an eye on you and let you know if they're concerned. Means you could have treatment sooner and feel better sooner if it happens.

Thing to remember is it will get easier. My son was 3 in March and we have no contact with my ex to the point he's never met him.

 

[Louiseandbump]

I can only echo what PPs have said, breastfeeding as a single mom may be a little harder, but stick with it and it becomes a godsend, plus itll save you fortunes in formula. Co-sleeping will make it alot easier too as you can dreamfeed.

The fact that you are starting out as a single mother means its all youll ever know and you will be coping alone from day 1. So you wont have to go through a messy break up and all of a sudden find yourself alone with a LO.

You and LO will have a very special bond with it being just the two of you so much. Its not always easy but its always worth it

Plus you have all the lovely ladies on here when you need mental/emotional support which we all do at one time or another.

Maybe you could look into joining some play groups for LO and you,
help you meet other mothers and get out and about etc
Good luck

 

[Livebythesea]

Thank you for your post. I have no advice as I am separated from my husband, but physically living in the same house...but we'll see how long that lasts. Anyway just wanted to say good luck and I appreciate also any responses to this thread.

 

[Dream.dream]

Agree with the stick with breast feeding it gets easier an its worth it .

Even if you don't have support from family get some kind of support network in place .

There is lots of places that offer supports to people, there's places where I am that offer people to come in to talk to you once or twice a week after baby is born to watch for postpartum depression and others that come on an help with getting you into a routine and helping with parenting and newborn care . Also if you go to church don't be afraid to ask there , at mine there is many many wonderful ladies that help out with things like meals and babysitting

Just have to look but even without family you could still set yourself up with a strong support system

 

[moomin_troll]

Maybe it's just me but I found breast feeding as a single mum so much easier and I had a 3 yr old aswel at the time.
It's difficult but worth while, I loved breast feeding.

I had no help from my family at all which was and still is so frustrating.
We can give u all the tips in the world but nothing can prepare u for being a mum, single or not. Something's just come naturally