Poetry Group, Post a Poem!

[mygirl]

Just thought i would post a couple of poems i wrote just for a bit of critique and fun. hoping to expand on my writing, but feel free to post your own!

This is for my 25yr old pony who i have had since i was 11, it has to be my favorite out of all i have written
Bear

He’s feeling old today,
I can see it in his eyes,
Those pools of deep dark blue,
Full of years gone by.
He came to stand by me,
And I whispered in his ear,
He answered in that voice so soft,
That only I can hear.
Our bodies gently touching,
I lay kisses in his mane,
And he looked at me with those wise old eyes,
And I fell in love again.
He lay his head against my chest,
And in that embrace we stayed,
Until he whispered ‘I love you.’
And slowly walked away.

this one i wrote not long after the birth of Amy, i dont like it too much but its probably my most recent.

Amy

Fear and chaos filled the room,

Panicking, confused i lay

The pain barely remembered as i watched them

Rush my baby away

People had appeared just moments ago

Noise had filled the room

As i worked the hardest i'd ever done im my life

To push that child from my womb.

But now as i lay exhausted

An expectant silence filled the air

For a small cry or wail was needed

Crossed fingers on everyone there

Then a breeze blew though the window

Cool, calm, a breath of life

For she caught it in her lungs

And cried with all her might

So i thanked god for his Mercy

For waking her with his breath

As i held my newborn baby

And cried 'til no tears were left.

 

[Elli21]

They are lovely hun xx

 

[Sarahkka]

Well done.
Is the first one of the pieces you had published?
I really liked the imagery of the cool breeze and breath, and the feeling of anxiety and suspense in the second.

 

[elm]

Love the first one, sorry I didn't read the second one - I have birth issues...

x

 

[mygirl]

neither of these have been published, this was the one i was asked to write to go with a poster:

Hoof Prints in the Snow

It’s freezing cold as we walk down the lane,
There’s nothing but white for its snowed again.
Icicles line the branches of trees,
Glitter and twinkle in the cool breeze.
We take to the common and cross the snow,
Leaving trails of hoof prints as we go,
Making a soft and crunching sound,
That seems so loud in the silence around.
We head for the hill and I push you to trot,
And we chase the cold all the way to the top.
Where we stand and look at the beautiful scene,
Of a country pure white where once it was green.
I glance behind us, back down the slope,
And see all our patterns defacing the snow.
Then the wind blows a flurry down the lane,
The prints vanish, its pure snow once again.
So we laugh at Jack Frost and your excitement mounts high,
And as the snow falls, you rear to the sky,
Challenging the winter to this new sport,
We walk down the hill but share the same thought,
I tip you to canter, across the common we go,
Once again leaving Hoof prints in the snow.

 

[faille]

Great stuff, I really like the first one

 

[ablaze]

id post mine.. but i only write depressive poems about my past an wen im feeling down

 

[mygirl]

its funny that, i find that i write better when i am feeling miserable too!! so i should have some good ones going at the moment then! lol