Positive side to C-sections

[bubbamadness]

Hello ladies, i keep on seeing threads saying 'failure' or 'dissapointed'. Why be sad about it? C-sections aren't a walk in the park. You go through loads of risks while having a section. We have major surgery which could risk our organs being ruptured or result in hysterectomy. The incision area is super sore and tender and it takes us 3 months to recover! We carry our beautiful babies for 9months or just under...so how are we any less of a woman by having a section. Births that end in a healthy baby are a success no matter how there delivered. So stuff what anyone else thinks. We are no less of a woman than them, so be proud to be a c-section mum. I am. Plus, on a cheeky one, we still have neat and tidy minnies! Lol.

 

[misspriss]

It has nothing to do with how I feel as a woman. I feel like I have failed as a mother to give him the best possible start he could have, that he is already starting out behind because I was unable to have him vaginally. My disappointment also comes from the pre-eclampsia, how if I had not developed it, he would not have been born premature, and would have had a better start.

I'm glad you feel good and validated about what you went through and your subsequent choices, but don't try and belittle the sense of disappointment some women feel and just say it's some mumbo jumbo about "feeling like a woman". It's not.

The only positive for me is that my son is here, alive, and doing well.

 

[bubbamadness]

My intention was not to belittle women but to make them feel better and a bit more light hearted about there experience. I have 3 healthy children who have never had any serious illness and are top of the class education wise. I do not feel they have missed out. All were breastfed for as long as possible. Isn't that a good start to life? Obviously you've totally taken offense to what I've said, but I'm sure that I've made someone else out there smile or feel better about themselves. If you've not got anything nice to add then don't.

 

[misspriss]

No offense taken, I just felt that you didn't understand my feelings of failure and disappointment and discounted the effects on my child as opposed to the effects on myself. Reading your post, it came across as if it were shameful to feel like a failure or disappointed, while those are quite natural and valid feelings after a c-section. There is no reason we should not experience those feelings if those are the feelings we have.

I'm not going to lie and say nice things about a point in my life I feel quite sad about, but I did recover physically and so far my son is healthy. So those are positive points. I am glad to hear that your children are healthy, and I'm glad you breastfed them! Congratulations!

 

[Tigerlily01]

I don't think it's wrong or invalid to feel disappointment/failure, but it does make me feel good to see someone talk positively about c-section moms. I don't have the option of a vaginal birth, and am extremely disappointed/apprehensive, but I'm trying to see the positives. It's the safest route for me and my baby, and I will try to be proud that I am strong enough to do this for him/her.

to all who are struggling with this, and major props to those who can help us feel awesome about it. At least that's my opinion.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

I agree with all of you ladies--however you feel is valid and worthwhile.

I had a c-section with DS #1, and never had a bad feeling about it. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, and the main objective (a healthy baby) was achieved. DS is now 4, and is healthy, sweet, playful, and smart. I feel like my surgery and recovery were basically textbook, and I'm praying for the same when I have DS #2 in October. : )

Each experience for each woman is different--I wouldn't change anything about my experience, because each aspect was a part of the story of how my little one came into the world. I'm thankful for my wise doctor, who I feel made the right call, and I'm thankful for the medical advancements that made it possible for my son to arrive in this world safely. : )

 

[sheldonsmommy]

I feel like your post was meant to be uplifting and positive, especially for newer c-section mommas. That's how I viewed it anyway

I'm one who felt disappointment shortly after my ds1 was born, but it is what it is. For me personally, my son's head got stuck, and all I kept thinking about was how lucky I was to have such technology available. My husband's grandma's first baby wasn't able to be born alive some 60 odd years ago because he/she got stuck.

To add another positive very specific to my situation, after taking ds1 out, the surgeon noticed a 10 cm tumour on one of my ovaries, and was promptly removed and later found to be benign. In short, I was very grateful for the circumstances.

It's okay to be disappointed, and everyone's feelings are valid, but I think the OP was aiming at getting discouraged moms to consider the positives

 

[mrspeanut]

I also enjoy reading positive c-section posts. My first was an emcs after he was stuck and became distressed. I didn't feel any disappointment as I knew I'd 'tried my best'. With my second I wanted a vbac but didn't get it as I went 10 days overdue and I got really scared he was going to be big and get stuck too so I went along with the consultants advice of an elcs. Ds2 was massive, but it didn't stop me feeling an intense disappointment in myself for not giving a vbac a go. This time round I know I'd love a vba2c, but I also know the risk of rupture goes up. I'm undecided what to do. The disappointment post-section is very real for me but I don't want that to overrule what is the safest option for my child, and also my existing kids and husband. I'm glad I'm having extra monitoring and I will wait and see nearer the time before making a decision. I joined a vbac support group online and it's helped me see I'm not being selfish to want one and a vba2c is possible, but I also like to read positive c-section stories to know I'm not a failure if I don't opt for it when the time comes. I personally liked the ops post as I felt it was positive and supportive, not judgemental.

 

[kealz]

I'm a c-section mommy and I read this post as positive and uplifting too. Thank you.

 

[Dogtanian]

Im a c section mum and will be again soon.I thought your post was refreshing,and made a wonderful change from all the disappointed threads you see all the time.I too have a wonderful healthy child,her apgar scores were 10 10 10 after failed induction due to pre eclampsia.I hope other mums to be read this and it gives them hope that not all c sections are a disaster,that end in SCBU and disappointment.I would also like to add that my recovery was quick and painless.
I am sorry for those who do have a difficult time of it,everyones feelings are valid no matter what they are,and birth disappointment is very common.I am of the feeling that it doesnt matter how baby gets here,nothing really goes to plan when it comes to birth anyway! I started out planning a homebirth,and ended up in an EMCS

 

[Night Flower]

No offense taken, I just felt that you didn't understand my feelings of failure and disappointment and discounted the effects on my child as opposed to the effects on myself. Reading your post, it came across as if it were shameful to feel like a failure or disappointed, while those are quite natural and valid feelings after a c-section. There is no reason we should not experience those feelings if those are the feelings we have.

I'm not going to lie and say nice things about a point in my life I feel quite sad about, but I did recover physically and so far my son is healthy. So those are positive points. I am glad to hear that your children are healthy, and I'm glad you breastfed them! Congratulations!

I also had a C section and understand your feelings of disappointment but why be so condescending? There is no need to take your feelings of anger or upset of your disappointment and be rude to someone over it.

 

[bubbamadness]

Phew, thank you ladies. After the first response to this thread i thought that i was going to have loads of negative reponses about it. Thought i had made a mistake. I'm really glad, and relieved that it has made some women feel better. And thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences too xxx

 

[misspriss]

No offense taken, I just felt that you didn't understand my feelings of failure and disappointment and discounted the effects on my child as opposed to the effects on myself. Reading your post, it came across as if it were shameful to feel like a failure or disappointed, while those are quite natural and valid feelings after a c-section. There is no reason we should not experience those feelings if those are the feelings we have.

I'm not going to lie and say nice things about a point in my life I feel quite sad about, but I did recover physically and so far my son is healthy. So those are positive points. I am glad to hear that your children are healthy, and I'm glad you breastfed them! Congratulations!

I also had a C section and understand your feelings of disappointment but why be so condescending? There is no need to take your feelings of anger or upset of your disappointment and be rude to someone over it.

I agree I might have been a bit rude, but I see nothing condescending. I'm apologize that I took offense at someone disregarding my feelings and bragging about having a "neat and tidy minnie", (that may have been what set me off I guess, although the OP did say they were being cheeky so I guess that makes it okay...) I suppose it's just not the thread for me, so I won't be responding to anyone else who quotes me or responds to me.

 

[Waiting2BAMum]

Sorry to intterupt,, but could anyone tell me how to post a new thread?

 

[Tigerlily01]

Sorry to intterupt,, but could anyone tell me how to post a new thread?

Go back to the main Caesarean section where all the Caesarean threads are listed, and click the "New Thread" button above the "Caesarean Section" header. It's a black button on my computer, not sure if it is on yours...it might depend on what forum skin you are using. Or if you want to post in another topic area (TTC, First Tri, or whatever), go to that topic area and then hit the "New Thread" button there.

 

[JPARR01]

I'm a c-section mommy and thank you for this post.

 

[cluelessnow]

Again, I agree with the majority of posters here. Not trying to poo poo anyone's feelings here, bad or good, all are valid. Though I must say from the poster who felt bad about the effect on her baby - unless something about her CS hurt her baby, I don't think having a CS has badly affected my DS at all in any way.

This is just me. I had an emcs after over 30 hours of trying after being induced because the placenta separated and my body wasn't ready but I swelled so much DS1 couldn't come out.

I'm just so glad for the sort of technology that allowed him to come out safely - I don't care how it's done - as long as he arrived as safely as possible. So I felt very thankful, so grateful.

 

[Mrstruth]

Hello ladies, I am due Dec 1,2014 I have to have c-section due to I have had two before and I am a bit nervous seeing that it's been nine years since I last gave birth. I wanted to join when I found the c-section section

 

[Lady_Bee]

I had one vaginal birth and one c section and I am equally proud of myself for doing both!

I also had a really positive c section experience. The recovery was of course more painful and difficult, but I have nothing but beautiful memories of my baby's Caesarian birth. It was medically necessary, he didn't suffer in any way because of it and is healthy as can be

 

[RcdM]

I've posted a lot and so have others about how a c-section does not mean you failed at child birth and honestly in most cases it IS the best possible start your child could have, because otherwise there was probably a much higher risk of something bad happening. So in my opinion, medically necessary c-sections are the best start you could give your child, and yourself. I am proud of my c-section, I'm proud of my scar, of course the situation was traumatizing but I know that I did nothing purposely to cause myself to get pre-eclampsia and I don't beat myself up over it. I don't regret anything because today I have a happy and healthy 2 year old dd and after all, that was my main goal. I'm not discounting anyone's feelings of course, but just sharing my own.