Pregnant after miscarriage and guilt

[Kath86]

Hello everyone, first of all I'd like to thank this great place and everyone sharing a personal story, it helped me a lot with trying to keep my spirits up after I had lost our first baby on June 11th, reading positive success stories really helped me stop thinking about that horrible day and I'm sure out there they're helping other women, who may or may not be members, manage such a difficult time in their lives.

I've decided to sign up and sorta come out of my own closet when I realized that even though I got pregnant right after the MC on June, after a couple days I still don't really believe it's true... After MC I picked up smoking again, after 8 happy non smoker months and right now I'm finding it so hard to stop again, as you may guess feeling guilty as hell.
I feel like I'm not giving this baby or pregnancy a chance, and I just don't get it because I also feel like this second chance is a blessing, a gift that came just at the right time to make it easier for us giving us the possibility to still look forward to a 2014 with the happiness of becoming (first time) parents...
So here I am, doing something so stupid (absolutely no offense to anyone who may be in the same position) and feeling awful about it yet not being able to stop... I would greatly appreciate any imput from here, positve or not, judgy or encouraging... Thank you.

 

[cupcakemomma]

First off, I'm so sorry for your loss in June. In 2010, I lost 2 babies back to back (with only 1 period in between). When I found out I was preggo with the second, I felt so guilty just BEING pregnant again, that I tried not to let myself get attached to the new pregnancy. But you know what, I still felt so much grief when it ended up being ectopic. To this day I feel awful that I didn't even enjoy the few weeks I had with that baby.

So I guess what I'm saying is, I know it's hard, but try to enjoy every second of being pregnant. As far as the smoking goes, I don't have much advice, besides trying to take it one day at a time. I haven't been a smoker personally, but I know from others that it is a hard habit to quit.

Hoping you have a H&H 9 months

 

[MamaTex]

Hey Kath86!! I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I am sorry for your loss, but a new chapter is being written in your life. Each chapter comes with its ups and downs, but you are the author of your life and can make an effort to improve what you need to work on.

You picked up a habit that is hard to put down. My father has been a smoker for years and I have seen first hand how difficult it is to kick a habit. Talk with your doctor and your insurance company to see what you can do to help curb the urge to smoke. You wanting to give your baby a chance says something about you. Some mothers don't care at all and do what they want!!

Good luck and be blessed!! You get no judgement from me!

 

[Kath86]

Hi cupcakemomma, I'm so so sorry for your losses! Must have been devastating let alone the fact the pregnancy were so close together...
I was supposed to wait for a month for my body to get completely "back to normal", or at least that's what I've been advises by my dr. but we just didn't want to miss what was clearly OV, and that after just 2 weeks of waiting.
Were you too advised to wait at least a cycle before trying again?

Thank you MamaTex, I've been feeling better lately, I guess pregnancy hormones are kicking in and I'm enjoying again that good feeling you get when you know you have a lil baby growing inside of you
The smoking has stayied the same but I've set a date to stop, hopefully I will be reasonable enough to kick the cigs for good this time! I have an who's 65 and has been a smoker since he was 14, nedless to say he doesn't even want to think about quitting.
Ahhh wish me luck haha