Putting Life on Hold for TTC - Dilemna, need opinions

[Hammy58]

Hi Ladies,

I have a question for all of you, I need some opinions.

Background on me first. I've been trying to conceive #2 now for going on 2 years. It took us over a year to conceive #1 (with the help of clomid) so I figured we would have issues again. I did honestly think we would be successful by now, but we have not. It's really starting to wear on myself and my DH emotionally. I personally feel like we have put our life on hold, I'm not sure if that makes sense but it seems that it's all I can focus on, ttc. We just finished our 5th cycle of clomid at 100mg, bfn of course. AF has just arrived today! So, our next step is now femara, gonal-f, and ovidrel with our new RE.

Our dilemma is that we would like to take a vacation to Disney with our son (going on 4). That would occur April 1st - 7th. I guess I'm concerned because how will this interfere with fertility treatments? By April 1st we will be done with our first cycle of the femara, gonal-f, and ovidrel. I could be pregnant or could be another failure. Either way, taking a vacation means I won't be able to be seen during that timeframe to be monitored for pregnancy or to start a new cycle. Should we not go on vacation? We honestly have never gone on any vacation as a family and have saved up for this separately from the fertility treatments and was thinking this would be a nice break for all of us. Really want to book it but I'm just not sure if it's the right time. On the other hand, I AM SO SICK OF PUTTING OUR LIFE ON HOLD! Anybody go through a similar situation or have an opinion?

 

[waitingongod1]

My opinion is to go on vacation. I have passed up too many things because off ttcing. I regret it. If anything after your first cycle of doing all those meds you might want to take vacation between cycles. Now if you are pregnant guess you may be sick..

 

[Hammy58]

Thanks for the reply. I think you are right! It's nice to hear the perspective of someone going through similar things. I am booking that damn vacation today!

 

[waitingongod1]

Good for you!

 

[k4th]

Get good insurance!!

I had this same dilemma in October 2014 and booked a holiday for May 2015. In November I got my bfp & have since been told I'm high risk & can't travel.

The dates won't necessarily mean you can't travel if you get a bfp, but if you have good travel insurance you're on a win:win all around. If I could go back I'd do the same again. It was very liberating to have something else to focus on.

Good luck with your next treatments

 

[TTC First]

I say plan the vacation. Worst case you get your bfp and can't go on rides, I am sure you can deal with that.

I am not so sure i would get the insurance because you are staying in the same country.

Hammy58, I noticed that you didn't mention you were doing a IUI. Are you just taking the medication and trying naturally? I would imagine an IUI would really help your chances.

 

[Bettyt63]

Hi hammy.... I'm totally in the same boat, we have been trying for #2 for 3 miserable years now I've had two losses in that time and put absolutely everything on hold including holidays, getting married (me and Oh have been engaged for almost 5 years) my little girl will be 4 in April and I feel that everything has stopped because 'what if I get pregnant'. I had a lap done in December and I've been told that if I don't fall naturally in the next 6 months then I'm classes as being infertile and IVF would be my only option (which we can't afford!)
So, taking the first steps to moving on from this we have booked two holidays this year, one in April just me OH and LO which will be our first family holiday and then another in august which my mum is paying for and this is the whole family.
I say BOOK your holiday, you will have a wonderful time and I think I will be a break that you really deserve and might take your mind off TTC....
Good luck.... I hope our BFPs come soon xxx

 

[Miaw]

I know what you mean about putting life on hold, I try not to do that but with the possibility of even more treatments coming up for me I am a little afraid : /

I wanted to go on vacation with my husband this summer, we never went on vacation together not even once, never even had a honeymoon lol and we have been married six months.

I'm just afraid of planning this far in advance...

 

[Hammy58]

You ladies are great. Thank you for all the replies and also sharing your perspectives. Even though I wish none of you were in the same situation, it is comforting knowing I'm not alone.

I did book the vacation and I also got the insurance just in case. I highly doubt we will end up not going but you never know and it makes me feel better having the insurance. If nothing else I guess it's mental.

I hope that now I can get excited about our upcoming vacation. I still haven't really been able to get that excited as we are in the middle of our first femara/injectable cycle. Tomorrow morning we have an ultrasound to check follicle development so I have really been thinking about this non-stop. I wish I could just forget about it. I did have kind of a bad day yesterday so that's probably not helping. I'm sure most of you can relate to in law and SIL issues! I'm thinking after this cycle the next would time up with the vacation and we may take that month off. Then get back at it the next month after the vacation. It would be a nice break all around.

TTC First - We are not doing IUI this cycle. RE wants us to try timed intercourse a couple months. I decided we would give it a go this month but if it doesn't work I think I may ask to do an IUI next cycle (after vacay). I'm sick of waiting. DH did have an SA a few months back which did show a couple issues. Overall his numbers were good but motility was a little low (just barely under normal) and morphology was abnormal. They wanted to see 30% normal morph and he had 19%. RE said it "could" be contributing to our issues but really thinks that I just need to have a good ovulation. We'll see. My DH is repeating the SA after this cycle. Started him on fertilaid and hope it has helped.

 

[k4th]

glad you have something lovely to look forward to! & good luck with your cycle

 

[Mrs W 11]

Glad you booked the holiday! Something positive to focus on and look forward to can only be a good thing.

We've been ttc no 2 for about 18 months now with one mmc over a year ago. We've just had a cycle of ivf but my eggs weren't great quality. Anyway I totally get what you mean, I feel that my life is on hold while we ttc and until I get pregnant I can't see how to get around that. I am not drinking because it seems silly when paying £5k for ivf to take any risks, no going out, eating healthy, no coffee. I just feel like having some fun again so if this cycle fails, I'm going to do the same and book a holiday and get drunk

Good luck xx