Rant about dinner with childless friend

[daneuse27]

Went out for sushi today with an old friend of mine (childless) and brought my 5 month old daugther along, who is always well behaved in public so that wasn't a problem.

I'm not the type who talks non-stop about my child only, I still love hearing about my old friends' lives, the old gossip ,whats in the news, popular on tv, etc. My life has changed, of course it has - but I still have interests outside mommyhood.

Well it was my friend who brought up a couple times though how "difficult" my life must be right now, and it was just annoying. She looked me in the eye and said "Don't you ever miss the free time?"

Also I live with my mom, so she at another point said "don't you just wish that you could move out and get your own place?"(Um yeah of course I do, but I dont have income so thats obviously not an option right now.) And she kept commenting on how much work I must have since Im looking after LO all by myself with not much help. This was not my idea of a relaxing sushi meal! I want friends to gush over LO, ask questions about her, or just talk about normal non-baby related things - not horn in on what is difficult about my life.

Just needed to rant!

 

[teal]

I'm sorry that your friend wasn't understanding. It really doesn't help at all having someone question how difficult things are. I find things get easier as LO gets bigger xx

 

[CLH_X3]

Sounds like she's just trying to be sympathetic and try to understand even if she got the wrong end of the stick!

 

[Dezireey]

Perhaps she expected you to look thoroughly knackered and moan at her but you looked lovely and smiled? LOL

Some friends do behave oddly when you have a child. Try to ignore it hun and she will get the picture when you are out again and you keep correcting her.

 

[daneuse27]

Thanks ladies! Shes a friend Ive known over 10 years, and not my closest friend because shes one of those tactless types that doesn't ever think about how things sound before she says them; so I forgive her, I know she means no ill-will. Shes just often clueless. This isnt the first time shes offended me and it probably wont be the last.

Another thing that started to get to me was she kept comparing LO to a dog in various ways. Dont get me wrong, I love dogs/animals but my baby is not a dog. lol.

Bottom line is she has no idea shes offending anyone when she says these things. They just sound alright in her head, and usually come out wrong.

 

[Dezireey]

Another thing that started to get to me was she kept comparing LO to a dog in various ways. Dont get me wrong, I love dogs/animals but my baby is not a dog. lol.

oh dear, sounds like she is a bit strange!

 

[Danie1stbaby]

wow,compare the baby to a dog? That is very odd...

What many women without children do not realize ,is that we were once that woman too.We didn't want to be single mothers,but it happens all the time.A childless woman also do not realize,they could be a single mother too.l know a few mothers that were married and husbands left them with the children...no one chooses to do it alone.IT's life and it hurts but those little babies are amazing.

I would make her aware of just that,it could easily be her.She is sexually active more than likely and babies come from that right?

I have a friend like that,but guess what ?? She is the most lonely person and I hope one day that void is filled.The being free is great,but when you hit a certain age it gets boring and you crave something new.I still have the same life,my child just fits in perfectly I have more responsibility but if I go out for awhile,nothing beats coming home to her smiling face

 

[MorganEvans]

Understandable, seems like she doesn't realize what's the joys about being a mom

 

[daneuse27]

wow,compare the baby to a dog? That is very odd...

What many women without children do not realize ,is that we were once that woman too.We didn't want to be single mothers,but it happens all the time.A childless woman also do not realize,they could be a single mother too.l know a few mothers that were married and husbands left them with the children...no one chooses to do it alone.IT's life and it hurts but those little babies are amazing.

I would make her aware of just that,it could easily be her.She is sexually active more than likely and babies come from that right?

I have a friend like that,but guess what ?? She is the most lonely person and I hope one day that void is filled.The being free is great,but when you hit a certain age it gets boring and you crave something new.I still have the same life,my child just fits in perfectly I have more responsibility but if I go out for awhile,nothing beats coming home to her smiling face

You make a good point. Id rather not think of it as something that "happened" to me though. FOB wanted to be with me, and I was the one who left him. So really, I did choose to be a single parent. Hes still in the picture, though.

Also, this friend actually is not sexually active. She has been with anyone in 2 years. so yeah, id say shes lonlier than me
Shes just very tactless. while I was pregnant, she used to comment on how fearful she was of ever falling accidentally pregnant and how horrible it would be and she once read me her online dating profile and it said "Youve come across an attractive, intelligent, fun, childless and creative woman" (something like that) and i thought it was so odd that she was using childless as a good thing, like a point towards her and then READ it to me while Im pregnant and on my own. not nice.

 

[Danie1stbaby]

I understand yeah she is just that type of friend~ We all have that friend lol I would talk to her about it for sure if it bothers you.

I was celibate for 21 months and met my fob..and fell pregnant a few years after we dated.Thought I was safe,but my 1st slip up and here is my almost 10 month old lol I chose to be single too because he is trying now and I rather do it alone,than worry about his pathetic self anymore.Life is way better without him~ Single mothers are warriors in my eyes~

 

[daneuse27]

We truly are! Unfortunately, I think when people think of single moms, they often think negative things such as burned, troubled, exhausted and desperate... which I think is too bad, because its not always like that. Plenty of single moms are content being single, not all of them hate their situation or are desperate to find someone to move in with them.