*rant* Need support ladies :cry:

[sticky_wishes]

Evening ladies. *rant alert...selfish post*

Having a hormonal day Think I have thrush which just makes everything worse too

So went for lunch with my 2 best friends, both have 2 children each. (one had her kids vaginally with pethidine, other has had 2 sections) They were asking q's n we were talking bout my baby, birth, jabs etc.

I always feel 'quizzed' after seeing them, especially my 'c-section' friend, about my plans for home birth. It really messes with my confidence

I have spoken with my Mw several times and gone over things. She has everything that hospitals have, other than an epidural. She has gas n air, pethidine, resuscitation equipment, she can perform episiotomies etc. also I am 7 mins from hospital. She will b monitoring me the whole time, unlike our hospital which allows you to birth alone for 2hrs at a time. So any decelerations or issues would be found quickly n I can get to hospital for emergency section, probably faster than if I was in labour ward.

I jus don't understand why she is so questioning about my choices, making me question myself. I never once questioned her on her choices for a section.

Then talking bout jabs she just goes on that all the ones given to the babies have been tested so I shudnt worry, I said I've been researching etc.I'm just trying to figure out how I feel about them n what best My aunt is special needs and there was always the possibility that the combined jab caused it. Obviously it's not proven but she deteriorated after the jabs. So I worry.

It pisses me off too, cos i work for my parents she always makes out like i dont have a real job. So annoying! I work hard n deserve what i get. I'd mentioned in a previous conversation to her about how busy at work I have been and she even joked that i should stop researching so much baby stuff n i wouldnt b so busy....i was like, erm, i research after work not during. Cheeky bitch.

After 3 losses, I worry. She doesn't worry cos she gets pregnant at the drop of a hat. I think the homeborth will be relaxed, and im a strong person. I want one-on-one care not a half arsed attempt of midwifery.

I'm sorry for the rant and I'm not even sure I have made sense. I hate questioning myself. I go crazy and feel on the verge of tears

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh x

 

[diggory77]

So sorry they've made you worry and put a downer on your homebirth plans. I read a study the other day which stated if you are a low risk pregnancy and plan to go into hospital and have your baby, you are 3 times more likely to have a c section. I think that being in your own environment will negate the need for needless interventions to hurry you along and you are more likely to get the lovely, calm, relaxed birth you want.
You may have already seen this link but if not it gives a good run down on the safety of homebirth
https://www.homebirth.org.uk/
I think your friends mean well, but I find that everyone loves to give horror stories and make you scared, where in reality it's a very small chance that things will go wrong. Also if they have had to have interventions and drugs then it may be very difficult for them to see labour being any other way! I know a lot of people who try to make me worry have a lot of guilt and anxiety for the way their births played out, and telling me about all the grizzly details is definitely a form of therapy for them. It can be hard for these people to wish you well because they had such a traumatic time. I don't know if you've done hypnobirthing or anything like that but it teaches our bodies are literally built for this, and when we aren't scared or rushed we can have lovely comfortable births.
I personally would avoid talking about your birth plans with people who you know will be negitive about it, I haven't even told mine or dh parents that I'm having a homebirth because I don't need to hear the uneducated statements to scare me.
Stick to your guns, you know what you want, millions of women have done this before without intervention or drugs, you do not need to be in a hospital to do this!
Hope you feel better xxxx

 

[madasa]

Maybe she is just curious? Do you have anyone you can talk to that can help lift you up after this lady has dragged you down?

She sounds like a "go with the flow, do what the mainstream is doing" kind of person. Thta's OK... for her. It can be uncomfortable going against the grain sometimes, but you know you are doing it for very good reasons. You're informed and strong and you are going to be AMAZING. You already are.

 

[Samiam03]

Just shrug her comments off...and if it bugs ou so much maybe don't hang out with her? Tbh she sounds like she may be jealous. Did she originally want the sections or were the emergencies?

I'm sure you will do great.

 

[rachiedata]

Good for you, for making your own choices, for being informed, for doing what's right for YOUR family. How judgemental some people can be.

Avoid the subject at all costs, even if it means avoiding her. Pregnancy can be a vulnerable time and you don't need any bother at all, something amazing is happening to you!

 

[bitethebullet]

I think some people just feel more safe in a hospital environment even if they aren't. Your friend who had the c section probs feels even more like that as she didn't have a straightforward delivery. Sounds like you're in an ideal place to have a homebirth being so near your
Hospital. Don't lose confidence! I was feeling similar about my choice of
Mlu which is 30 mins from hospital but am now happy in my mind about the choice. You're always going to get friends who are already parents being super patronising- just know you're not the only one who suffers this!

 

[zilla]

Ignore it!
I have major respect for anyone doing home birth. I really wanted to but I can't due to medical reasons
xxxxxx