RCS with a toddler

[MarieMo7]

Hi ladies,
Due with #2 in November - DD will be almost 2 years 4 months on my due date. I had a c-section with her - somewhat elective; my induced labor did not progress and I opted for a c-section, about 10 hours after starting pitocin and no dilation, trying to avoid the trauma of an emergency section.

Anyway - trying now to decide if I want a VBAC or RCS. My OB is very supportive of either option, but told me that based on my previous labor, my chances of a successful VBAC are less than 50%. However, she did concede that I was 39+2 at my induction, and going to or past my due date to allow labor to start spontaneously might affect the outcome in a positive way.

Long story short - I'm totally OK with an RCS - EXCEPT that I can't imagine recovery with a very active toddler??? She will remain in daycare full time; DH works from home and has a very flexible job, so that helps; my parents live about 15 minutes away and are both retired, so can help some if needed. I worry more about her jumping on my belly, or wanting to crawl in my lap, etc. And also, taking care of a newborn while DH keeps toddler occupied - I had a lot of help with my first section so that I wouldn't over-exert myself.

Who's been through an RCS with a todller in tow? How did it go? How was recovery?

 

[Kalabear]

Stalking!! Curious about others experiences!!

 

[emsie_123]

For me the trick was to do an activity each morning, for example park, play center, play dates and relax time in thr afternoon example film, colouring, playing in her room or in the garden. My toddler was just 2 years when her brother was born and she understood not to jump around me . It was hard if she hurt herself and wanted me to carry her but i just sat down with her to give a cuddle. She went to childminder once a week and to her grannys once a week but the other 3 days I had her in my own. You just do what you have to do to make it work .

 

[volley1980]

Stalking also..just had my second c-section (first was EMCS, second was after failed induction due to waters breaking but no open cervix or contractions )..just got home from the hospital hours ago and waiting for my in-laws to drop off my 25 month old.. He was great when visiting at the hospital..but not sure how it'll be at home...

 

[steph.]

It was fine. My lo was nearly 22 months when her sister arrived. I showed her the scar and explained that mummy's belly was sore so she knew not to jump on me. To cuddle her I would sit down and hold her on my lap. I wanted to keep everything as normal as possible for her, so my doctor gave me the all clear to drive from 1wk pp so that I could take her to her normal activities. Hardest part was lifting her and baby in and out of the car, and when we were home lifting her into the highchair.

 

[MarieMo7]

Thanks ladies, this is helpful!

Volley, keep me posted! I'd love to know your tips and tricks to make it work. Congrats on the new baby!

 

[x__amour]

I had a failed VBAC/ELCS when DS was born. DD was just shy of 3½. It was honestly very easy for us. The RCS was much better recovery wise and I was feeling fine a week after. DH stayed home for 2 weeks which was a lot of help and afterwards we have just been taking it easy.

 

[minties]

My eldest was 23 months when I had a RCS with my daughter. It was fine, I just told him to be gentle with my tummy. I didn't have any problems picking him up or anything.

 

[RcdM]

I'm opting for a c-section with my second, due in October. I'll just be relying on my DH to care for our 2 year old DD for the first few weeks. We are both getting 3 months maternity/paternity leave after DS comes so luckily he'll be around the whole time. Also, my mom lives like a block away and I'm sure she'll be happy to take DD out every now and then to give her more activity and play time, and to also give us a little break too.

I remember feeling really good 2 weeks postpartum. Who knows if recovery will go that well again, but hopefully it does and I can be back to normal quickly. My DD isn't too needy when it comes to being held. Sometimes she is, but if I can sit with her on the couch she is satisfied. I also plan on wearing a thick compression wrap for a while and that should help protect my incision if DD does accidentally jump on me or something. I think talking to her will help too, saying be careful with mommy, mommy has an owwie, you have to be gentle... she understands "gentle" and "soft" because we taught her to be that way with the dog, so maybe we can use that in this case lol. But she'll be exactly 2 1/2 when DS is due so she may understand a little better by then anyway.

 

[MarieMo7]

Thanks RcdM. I'm still torn - but obviously I have time to decide! 5 more months or so. My DD isn't one to be held or cuddled, but she is very jealous, so I could see her wanting some extra Mommy attention when she can't really have it.
I think we're at the point though where she's getting things. She understands the concept of gentle, she just chooses not to pursue it, LOL! But as my belly is getting bigger, we're having to work on it anyway, so if we start now hopefully she'll get it!

 

[chasemanzmum]

I don't remember much about my other c-sections. Except for the first thing my DH said after me waking up after a nap first few hours home after 2nd c-section. "I gotta work so you gotta clean". I remember then thinking wtf and the like. But by doing a little bit at a time I was able to recover faster than my first. And good luck with your c-section. With that said, I'm on my 5th c-section as of Christmas eve.