Reactions after a home birth - sorry a bit of a rant

[crazydiamond]

I didn't tell any of my friends or family that I was planning a homebirth in advance as I didn't want to be put off by any negativity.

Anyway I had a brilliant home water birth on the 7th January which went pretty much to plan. When people started asking about my birth I decided to tell them that I had a homebirth.

I was surprised to find the reaction in most cases was complete shock. The first response was 'was it planned'. I then got you 'must have been really brave, especially with a first baby' and then in some cases 'you were really lucky, it could have gone so wrong'.

I am getting so annoyed with these reactions. I was not brave - for me going in to hospital and risking an induction (which was what the hospital wanted me to have) would have been much more scary and as for luck the likelihood of things going wrong would have been much higher if they induced me before I was ready when no complications were presenting.

Sorry just wanted to rant.

 

[Bournefree]

Oh I know exactly what this is like!!! hahahaha! It doesn't stop after you have had your baby!

I told anyone that would ask (sometimes just anyone that would listen) how amazing our birth was and although you get the silly comments like you have had, in general I have found most people really enthralled.

Except one idiot who said to me, "what would you have done if you had died?!" urrrmmmm.. I'd be dead! How stupid is that - I just replied to them "you don't know all that much about this, do you!"

You should be very proud of your wonderful birth and if you feel the need shout it from the rooftops, and don't let anyone discourage you!
Xxx

 

[Jenniflower]

Ugh how annoying! But now I can see why you waited to tell all these people. Imagine their reactions before hand. It is just sad how ill informed people are about these kind of things. That's my best way of not getting angry at them, I just feel sorry for them. I realize they're just ignorant and I do my best to calmly explain how much better it actually is and the misconceptions a lot of people have.

Just keep on smiling about your birth and don't let anyone bring you down. I loved Bourne's comment "You don't know anything"

 

[NaturalMomma]

How annoying. I hate the "you got lucky, things could go wrong". Um, you get lucky no matter where you get birth, news flash, things go wrong in hospitals all the time. Things went wrong in my hospital birth that were Doctor caused.

 

[indigo_fairy]

Some people just don't know how to think before they speak. Why can't they just leave their useless comments in their own minds and replace them with positive ones, like "wow you must be so proud, look at your lovely baby". They just don't realise or are just ignorant to the power a woman has to maybe just not need a doctor etc.. in birth.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby

Funnily enough you aren't far from me in the UK.

 

[Summer Breeze]

Congratulations on your baby and home birth!
I wish I had taken a leaf out of your book and waited until after the birth to mention our plans to have a home birth, it is hard to escape negativity and you have to have a quite a lot of strength to let it wash over you.
Such a shame that you haven't had the response afterwards that you should have had, unfortunately I just don't think a lot of people know enough about birth to have a well rounded view of it all.
But congratulations on what I'm sure was a life changing experience for you
xx

 

[smam]

Congratulations on your homebirth and your beautiful bubba!

I told everyone before hand that I had planned a HB and the reactions went from "your brave/crazy etc" to " your putting yours and babes life at risk!" to which I just replied well, its my birth,body and baby and this is what I want to pretty much do one!

My grandmother was probably the biggest opponent of it, but I think it stems from fear. My aunt was born early by C-Section as my nans BP went sky high and she had terrible problems after the birth. Nan was there when I had my little man and now she raves about it to everyone and anyone that will listen. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that until people experience how lovely a HB can be, they are afraid for you and your baby as your not in the "normal" (to them) environment associated with childbirth.

Big hugs and be very proud of yourself xx

 

[Mum2MJ]

You must be soo proud of yourself hun, well done x

 

[crazydiamond]

Thanks all. I found that the support and information from this forum made so much difference to my confidence about giving birth and hence my ability to push for and obtain the type of birth that I wanted. It is a shame more people are not aware of the real benefits of home birthing and there is so much negativity out there.

 

[PeanutBean]

*shakes fist at ignorant people* But well done you!

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw well done hun! dont worry i have had it all!

on being told i had an emergency c section with first birth

oh well a lot of celebrities have them
oh do you feel like you failed
oh poor you

when complaining of bad back last year

thats what you get for getting an epidural
actually i have a twisted spine and also in having a c sec how else are they going to get baby out without me feeling anything

now i want vbac the exact same people are going

are you crazy!
you are being offered the easy ticket (its not easy) and you dont want it
are you stupid take the drugs and the knife

i am hoping i get my vbac because of the impending "knew you wouldnt go through with it" comments

hun some people just have knee jerk reactions and have an innate need to fill the silence with mundane un thoughtful and typical responses such as you were brave etc just wish some people would engage brain before opening mouth

 

[wild2011]

congratulations on your home birth, i homebirth too and will be again this time, i hate the negativety, my close family are on side so sod the anyone else with their opinions. xx

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

sorry people are so rude!