Really Just Need Some To Talk To

[mummyosborne]

As some of you know my LO was very lucky and suffered very few issues from being born at 29 weeks, and i know what i went through wasnt even half as much as some of the amazing mums on here but, i myself have had a lot of problems since my LO and i went to the hospital for a scan the other day, and i completely freaked out, im not sure what happened, but i made my mum take my LO back to the car i refused to have her in the hospital, and i couldnt stop shaking and i got so worked up, it took my OH ages to calm me down enough to have my scan, and now they think she might have something wrong with her heart and shes got to go for a scan next week and i dont know how im going to cope, my OH and my mum will both be at work so it will just be me and i dont know what happened but i can barely let her leave my sight now, im sleeping properly because im worrying about her and when i am asleep im having just horrid nightmares about when she was born, i feel like such a mess
sorry for the long post

 

[Skadi]

What do they think might be wrong with her heart? I know Keira has a heart murmur but the pediatrician said it is completely normal in preemies and will clear up on its own by the time she is one.

 

[Sophiesmommie]

I completely understand! My little one is about to have heart surgery and it is a scary thing. She has a murmur (its and innocent one though very common in preemies), a thick valve (they said it's not thick enough to be a problem though), and Coa. What do they think is wrong with your LO's heart? The best thing to do is don't panic, I mean they aren't sure yet so don't stress your self out over it. Try to just focus on you and your LO right now. And I know that's hard to do because all I can focus on is the heart problems. I hope that nothing is wrong and it is just a false alarm. =( Good luck!!!!

 

[vermeil]

Hello and welcome!! Congratulations on your beautiful little girl! I know it`s very hard but try to keep in mind they wouldn`t let you just go home with your baby if they thought there was any risk. During our nicu 'adventure' we were told many, many times our little one MIGHT have something, lots of scary things actually, only to have them disproved at the next test, scan, etc.

And like others have said preemies often have small heart murmurs etc. and in the vast majority of cases they just resorb on their own.

Thinking of you

 

[heyyady]

Hon, I think you have a little bit of PTSD going on (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which is COMPLETELY natural for what you've been through. I still have nightmares that they are going to take one of them away for some reason- and I am overly paranoid and obsessive about something happening to them. It is a big deal, what we went through, Our little angels hooked up to machines and kept from us. But we got through it. Your beautiful baby got through it. You need to focus on the good and happy, think about the future, and perhaps get a little counseling to help you over this rough spot. As for her scan, can you have a friend go with? If not, soes the hospital where you're taking her have a chaplain or priest that could accompany you?? That's what they are there for.

 

[toothfairyx]

I would agree with everything Heyyady says there. The range of emotions you go through when your baby is in NICU is extreme and includes shock, distress, depression, anger and even terror to name a few.
I can see more clearly now after my second experience of this just how affected I was by the first. I can totally relate to what you are saying, and if you wanted to chat, I am happy to listen xx

 

[mummyosborne]

Hon, I think you have a little bit of PTSD going on (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which is COMPLETELY natural for what you've been through. I still have nightmares that they are going to take one of them away for some reason- and I am overly paranoid and obsessive about something happening to them. It is a big deal, what we went through, Our little angels hooked up to machines and kept from us. But we got through it. Your beautiful baby got through it. You need to focus on the good and happy, think about the future, and perhaps get a little counseling to help you over this rough spot. As for her scan, can you have a friend go with? If not, soes the hospital where you're taking her have a chaplain or priest that could accompany you?? That's what they are there for.

Im the same, most nights i have awful dreams that someone is going to take her away, i dread taking her to the doctors or having the health visitor over as i think they are going to take her, my partner says im being silly but i cant help it, my MIL comes and picks her up sometimes and she can be up to two hours late bring her back and no one seems to understand why i get so worked up about it. i know that my LO's journey through NICU wasnt nearly as bad as some peoples so i feel really pathetic getting so worked up over it but i cant seem to move past it