Really upset and worked up tonight

[Babydustx3]

Out of nowhere tonight I started feeling so depressed and lonely and the thought crept into my mind that, "Maybe I'll never be able to get pregnant". After that thought, I can't shake the feeling. I'm so upset it's making me nauseous. I'm only 20 years old and have been trying for 1.5 years. At first I was like "Okay, it's just my thyroid." but now I'm so worried maybe it's not just that... maybe it's something else. I normally don't feel sorry for myself and I do really good ignoring the negative thoughts but tonight it just took over. I know everyone says "you need to relax; if you do you'll get pregnant." I hate when people say that, it's one of my biggest TTC pet peeves. I'm just in a dark place tonight and wish my OH could stay awake and cuddle with me and just reassure me that everything will be okay.

 

[wonderstars]

I sometimes think we dismiss what a "loss" infertility is. If you look at it as a loss, you have to look at it as a grieving process. We always talk about the stages of grief with regards to some aspect of life but we never consider to do this with infertility.

1.Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargaining
4.Depression
5.Acceptance

Take time to grieve and take care of yourself. These nights are awful but there is a lot of support here in the forum.

 

[Kimiw]

Out of nowhere tonight I started feeling so depressed and lonely and the thought crept into my mind that, "Maybe I'll never be able to get pregnant". After that thought, I can't shake the feeling. I'm so upset it's making me nauseous. I'm only 20 years old and have been trying for 1.5 years. At first I was like "Okay, it's just my thyroid." but now I'm so worried maybe it's not just that... maybe it's something else. I normally don't feel sorry for myself and I do really good ignoring the negative thoughts but tonight it just took over. I know everyone says "you need to relax; if you do you'll get pregnant." I hate when people say that, it's one of my biggest TTC pet peeves. I'm just in a dark place tonight and wish my OH could stay awake and cuddle with me and just reassure me that everything will be okay.

Oh hun, I am sorry, it sucks to have that feeling, me and dh have been trying for 6 years for #1. Over the years I have learned that the people around us don't really know what to say so they think by making comments like, "don't worry it will happen, or just relax", they are helping. Are your cycles regular? Have you been tested for PCOS? I was diagnosed with it two years after I wasn't getting pregnant. If you do have it will will need some assistance getting pregnant by using Metformin and Clomid. It is fairly inexpensive, so don't let that freak you out.

signs of PCOS

1. irregular cycles
2. thin hair
3. excess facial hair on neck and chin (thick little black hairs usually that you need to pluck.
4. overweight/obese
5. acne
6. lack of or no ovulation

There are a few more but those are the symptoms that most women notice about themselves. Having PCOS makes it hard to lose weight also so that is a pain in itself. But the sooner it is diagnosed the better, you are 20, if you get it diagnosed now (if you have it) the treatment won't be so invasive. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 27 years old.

You are not alone girl, those of us who really want our babies go through that from time to time. I know I hit lows and I have a hard time getting through it. It is so hard to watch other women getting prengnat because we wish that was us so bad. When every woman around you is getting pregnant and having their babies, it almost feels like you are standing in one spot and the rest of the world is moving around you. It is such a lonely feeling, and it sucks to go through. That is why this site is so great, there is so much support and there are others on here who are going through something similar so it is somewhere to go when there is nowhere else to go.

I hope you feel better soon, I am sorry that your feeling so down, it is going to be ok. Maybe you should make an appointment with your OBGYN and see if there is anything they can do to get the show on the road.