reluctant to say what's up with my son

[ellismum]

I'm finding it really hard to say why Ellis is not starting school until January or just about his diagnosis in general. I'm extreme pleased and confident with his ADHD diagnosis however due to such negativity surrounding it I'm ashamed to tell people this. Only yesterday there was an article about a boy the same age who is just like my son and the comments made my cry. They were accusing the parents of being bad and lazy parents, calling the child spoilt and that they're only doing it for benefits. Apperently it's a made up condition to excuse behaviour which I'd never do. I just want to hunt these armchair doctors down and let them have my son for a few hours and then see if they they can deal with the daily struggles we have.

I hate that there's such a negativity around this condition and Autisim

 

[mummy2o]

Ossian didn't start school full time until January of the year he was meant to start. We have until Easter to start him full time, but it took him less time than expected to integrate with the class. It is a bit like that at times. I'm wondering if I never told the school that he has autism would he have coped better? He would of been made to do things the same as other children not given special treatment from the start, which they now want to take away so its like should of just done that to begin with. Also every time they make him a friend for the year, they move the friend next year. I find the whole system madness and how they want to remove him from mainstream school to a special one next year as they don't think he'll reach his targets after the next key stage. Every child normal or special need to go up 2 levels so they get rid of kids in mainstream schools who can't achieve it at the end of year 2 or their achievement rate goes down.

I have no idea why ADHD and autism have such a bad stigma around them. I have to say with DS his problems aren't really behavioural but that one day he has a bad day he gets told he's playing up and being naughty on purpose where a normal child is left to deal with it. Although his child is older (23) this blogger really sums up what its like to have a mentally disabled child in a nutshell. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-23423541

 

[Eternal]

Hugs, I know, I am so upset and frustrated by people's cruel and ignorant comments in Association with ADHD and ASD.

Just today I write on some idiots comments and the hundreds who agreed that ADHD was a made up thing as excuse to bad discipline. The shameful thing is I may have agreed before but never would have publicly made such statements because whatever the cause those parents did struggle. Wow, it's come back to bite me in the bum. I do wish people would come spend a week with my kids, two perfectly normal and then Sam. Usually it's fairly obvious after 24 hours that Sam is different.

People are so quick to judge, I have no advise, other than feel free to rant to me anytime, add me on Facebook if you like, I'm always shouting at someone with regards my child's disabilities lol. Sam isn't diagnosed yet, we are almost there I think, although now have tons of other assessments as well. Argh, he is certainly ADHD no one would doubt that but have quite a few ASD markers too which show up on assessment, although he certainly isn't classic autism not that exists, but he isn't what people would assume would be autism.

Is the school on board for January or haven't you spoken to them yet?

 

[AimeeM]

I hate the stigma that comes with the assumptions around ADHD, I hate to say to anyone my son has ADHD as I feel that they think it is an excuse for his odd behaviours. When I say nothing I still get it though, people thinking I am a bad mum or he is a bad child. It's tough to be honest as the media has totally caused misconceptions about ADHD. I think the stigma will never go away. Is tough.

People who say it isn't real etc make my blood boil. I don't argue or show it though, I just think Karma will show them one day. Only a parent with a genuine ADHD child can understand, not people who say their child has it. Unfortunately that does happen and doesn't help the situation.

 

[ellismum]

Thanks ladies

I have some fantastic family and friends who love Ellis and his quirks and his friends are completely acceptable of him which is great but I do worry for him. His impulsive and domineering behaviour will put some off and I worry he'll be excluded from a lot if activities and parties as he grows. The temper he has can be quite strong and we still have to deal with tantrums over the simplest of things.

Ellis has been poorly this week with virus so half term's been such a breeze, we have completely incident free shopping and eating out experiences whilst he was coming down with it (bad mummy) but he's back to his normal self.

Eternal, he starts on Jan 6th. His new primary school have been great, his teacher came over a few weeks ago and his current SENCO team at pre school are a fab support. We have an appointment with the educational psychiatrist Thursday prior to his assessment which fingers crossed is the last piece of the puzzle to get funding. He is guaranteed 12 hours under Action Plus so if it's not in place by the time he starts then at least he has these few hours to help.

What assessments have you got lined up? I'm on FB, please feel free to add me, Emma Rush. That goes for anyone else too