Sad :(

[Mummy1995]

Getting myself into a tizz about FOB and his family. As some of you know he has only seen Isabella 5 times and she 7 and a half months old. His family are yet to meet her but not holding my breath as I've not heard from him in 2 and a half months and have warned him it's his last chance. I just can't move on and forget about it all. I am so upset about it. I need answers. I need to know why they don't care about my little girl :'( I feel so shit. I keep nearly texting them to just ask why they won't come and see her. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I'll be happy until I have these answers :/ sorry for the rant.. needed to get it out. Xxx

 

[Zondon]

I'm sorry you're going through all this with your FOB and his family at the moment...

You know, I've always believed children should have two loving parents to raise them and that, ideally, relatives from both sides should be involved. The more people that love our children the better. But, and this is a big but for me, fathers (and I use the word father loosely in this scenario) who don't make the effort to see their children and families of FOBs who, for whatever reason, won't be involved in a little one's life are, in my opinion, not worth the effort or time.

I get that it's painful. You have this amazing little girl who you love and adore and you just want her father to love and adore her too. No one wants to deprive a child of their father. But men who can't be bothered aren't fathers to begin with. Your daughter has a mother who loves her and is there for her and that's really really important. If this man or his family decide they want to be a part of her life and are stable and consistent about it then that's great, but if not then your little girl is better off without the drama, heartache and disappointment a relationship with people who don't really want a relationship might bring. And btw even if you do talk to them, what reason could they possibly have to excuse or explain not wanting to see your little one?!

Zondon

 

[blamesydney]

Families like this blow my mind. I don't care what stupid moronic choices my child makes, if he/she makes a baby, I'm going to be a grandmother! If I have a boy and he pulls the "it's not mine" card, I'll straight up tell him, until you get a DNA test, it sure is.

His family is clearly not worth it.

 

[teal]

By the sounds of it they don't deserve to be in her life. I understand its painful not to have any real reasoning, I've not seen fob since before I found out I was pregnant (I told him over the phone and he broke up with me) and nothing since. The only thing I can take from it is that it's better for the child to have no contact than half assed contact. All or nothing, if that makes sense. It is hard and it's upsetting to know that my child's father doesn't want to know. My son is now three and I promise you it gets easier. Sending you massive hugs xx

 

[Dezireey]

It's difficult to understand now and I battled with that feeling of 'why can't he love this wonderful little human being that is his own son??!' But these types of men have such opposing moral values from us and such disgusting ways of treating people that in the long run, you will see that you do not wish for this influence to be in your child's life anyway.

And let's be honest, we can see where your FOB gets his moral values and ethical conduct from. Obviously his parents are just as crappy to people as he is, no wonder he did what he did, if that is how he was brought up. If they know your baby exists, then that is all you can do is leave the door open. If they want to get to know her and have that privilege, then they can damn well get in touch with you and chase you for contact and not the other way around.

You have done your best hun and that is all you can do.

 

[MissJayy]

Don't know if you remember me, haha, haven't spoken to you in ages!
FOB hasn't seen Levi since he was around, roughly, 3 months old.
Honestly, it will get easier for you personally, but you will always feel upset for your daughter knowing that he doesn't make an effort. At the end of the day he is the one missing out.
Have you personally asked his family to meet/see bub? If not, maybe you could ring them and ask? If you have asked them and they say no, maybe then ask why they don't want to, and just explain to them that she needs to know her family etc? Sorry, probably not much help...

 

[Mummy1995]

Yes I remember you hun! Aww that's so sad yep I've asked his dad, I got a reply once saying he'd have to speak to FOB first but he would like to see her. Then FOB had a go at me foe doing so. I then contacted his again twice more and go ignored. And has for his mother I and my dad have been ignored every time we've contacted her by leaving voicemails and texts as they ignore our calls. I have suggested in the past when it looks like FOB was going to be involved, for me to take Isabella to his with my mum for a few hours and all I get is 'I don't think that's a good idea, and I want to introduce.her to my family alone, when I'm ready, not when you say so' :/ x

 

[MissJayy]

Yes I remember you hun! Aww that's so sad yep I've asked his dad, I got a reply once saying he'd have to speak to FOB first but he would like to see her. Then FOB had a go at me foe doing so. I then contacted his again twice more and go ignored. And has for his mother I and my dad have been ignored every time we've contacted her by leaving voicemails and texts as they ignore our calls. I have suggested in the past when it looks like FOB was going to be involved, for me to take Isabella to his with my mum for a few hours and all I get is 'I don't think that's a good idea, and I want to introduce.her to my family alone, when I'm ready, not when you say so' :/ x

Well, at least you know that FOBs father wanted to meet her, and obviously FOB has told him not to? How long since you spoke to him? I don't know how they, as grandparents, can not want to meet her
Very sad, but hopefully they come around very soon, for both of you
Would you trust FOB taking her to meet his family alone?

 

[Mummy1995]

Nope definitely not. And it wouldn't be fair on her as she doesn't know him. I may as well give her to a stranger for a day if I do that :/ last time he was over she screamed the whole time and didn't stop til I left :/ he's seen her a max of 10hours of her life. And because of school I'm not with her much so when I am she's very clingy with me. I don't trust his family at all xx

 

[Mummy1995]

It's been 3months now since I've had any contact from him :/ x

 

[letdoit]

Hi Dear,

Firstly , i would like to say I am sorry to hear what you are going through.

I totally agree with other members that people like FOB shouldnot be part of her.

I was once engaged to a guy who made it very clear that he did not want children because they are a waste of money and would say horrible things when my friends visit me with their children. I loved my ex-fiance with all my heart and there was a time where i thought i had to put pressure on him that we have children.

I then realised that it would be unfair to the child as he would never love that child. I broke up with him and I am now happily pregnant thro sperm donor. My child would grow up knowing that he/ she has a loving mum.

All I can can , please do not put any prssure on them .....if he does not want to be part of your girl's life just accept it. We (women ) are stronger than we think