Scared about world have to raise kids in?

[Dream.dream]

so talking with family Sunday and the adults talking my uncle told us apparently my 10 year old cousin was asked by another 10 year old boy to send him a picture with her shirt off.

It makes me worry because when I was growing up that didn't happen and of it did it wasn't something you had to worry about until kids were teenagers . These kids are in 4th grade .

My uncle said well that's what boys do and told my cousin not to do it and have respect for herself. But I don't agree that all boys are like that now are they?

I have a 4 year old and one on the way and I'm worried about what they have to grow up with .

 

[hellohefalump]

I worry about kidnapping and peodophiles. I don't think it's happening more just that we are more aware of it... The April jones murder particularly hit me hard as she was around the same age as my daughter. I don't let my kids play outside without supervision, but when I was six I was out a lot of the day alone with my friends.

Children are getting sexualised way too soon now though, I wonder if its the news on telly, or inappropriate telly they're watching? It only takes one kid at school to watch something innapropriate for their age and then they tell all their friends in the playground...

Also technology they all have camera phones now...

 

[seoj]

It can certainly be a scary world- we have a teenager (almost 16) and a LO-- so we've kinda been there done that with our oldest... and sometimes, it's frustrating for sure the things that kids can do these days. As when I was growing up there wansn't Cellphone camera's and FB or twitter... shoot, my parents didn't even get Cable TV till I was 14! And PG-13 was much more strict than it is now... so yes, there is more for us as parent to contend against... but, and this is my two cents...

If you raise your children to have respect for themselves and others- to have integrity and compassion and be strong and self assured... then it doesn't matter as much WHAT comes at them. They will ultimately make good decisions. Maybe not always- as we cannot protect them from everything- and kids, well, they make dumb decisions sometimes... I know I did. But I honestly trust my teenager so much- we are always honest with her and she is very respectful to us and trusts our judgement (even when she may not always agree). And I know the things she hears and see's at school or on TV... and how some kids can get sucked up into that false reality. But what really makes a person who we are- besides how we are born (temperment and such) is how we are raised...

Least that is my experience and belief. And knowing, it will probably only get crazier as our LO grows- oiw-- we will be just as involved with her. And set good limits and boundaries and ask questions and be present... I think that makes the most difference.

 

[julietz]

Its up to the parents to bring their kids up with respect for others and making sure they dont become vunerable, its hard parenting and even if we do our best doent mean we have angels, kids are kids some can be cruel, i try to make a good friendship with my kids, so they feel they can talk to me about anything, i want to know what goes on and what other kids do and say when it involves my kids, it works ok for us

 

[m4nc3r]

That 10 year old boy probably had NO IDEA what he was on about. He probably heard his older brother say it to his girlfriend and is just copying as 10 yr olds do..


I think the only problem we *truly* have now is that half the parents don't care enough, and the other half care too much.
It is easy for us to say the world has gone to shit, and keep our children by our side every second of the day in an attempt to protect them... but then when they get "free" from us, they don't know what to do.
It is also easy to say not to worry and remind each other how we used to roam the streets from 8am till 8pm and no-one could contact us or cared where we were aslong as we were home for dinner.

But neither of those things are going to help in the long run unless you have a mixture of both.

I also think it is down to the parents to make a character judgment on what their kids can watch or do. Some kids copy things, others don't.
I wasn't a copying kid, I played violent video games and we owned BB guns & an air rifle - I never shot anyone lol
I knew about sex younger than 10 but I didn't do it until I was 18 and had found someone I loved (And we're still together and have a 2 yr old and 1 more on the way

I don't think the world has turned suddenly shit, I think the parents just expect the answers to be handed on a plate and can't be bothered to consider their childrens personalities before deciding what is right for them...

 

[Dream.dream]

I was just shocked . I wouldn't have expected to have to talk to kids about those kind of things until my son was 13 or older not 10

 

[RachA]

I agree with Seoj, and the others.

Your children don't have to grow up like that. How you parent does have a big impact on how they are. My sister has a 14yo and 11yo. Both act their age rather than trying to be older than they are. The 11yo still loves playing with Lego etc. The 14yo does like her make up etc, that's been since she was around 12. But she is not interested in boys in a sexual way. If a boy ask her to take a pic of her chest she'd tell them what she thought of that.
They have both been brought up to show respect for themselves and others.

It does scare me somewhat about how evil people can be but other than just being sensible there isn't much that can be done. Keeping them wrapped up can backfire and make them want to go out on their own etc before its safe to do so. I allow my two to play out in our back garden on their own but not the front.

 

[ZoeyKaspian]

My fiance is worried too. I am also. His cousin also said the same thing about the world we're in. My fiance feels guilty about bringing a child into this world with all the problems and "what if his soul was somewhere better before we made him?". He told me he does not regret having Atlas for a second and wouldn't change our decision for a second, but it does get scary.

I knew about sex at a fairly early age. I am not going to lie to you. When I tell my fiance the age of which I knew what sex was, how it worked, and everything, he is beyond shocked and let me tell you, I fully understood. There is a Dessa (female rapper) lyric I like a lot where she says "Children aren't as simple as we like to think."

Something that took me and my fiance by surprise a couple of weekends ago was that my fiance's son was pulling his pants down and I said "Don't do that." and my fiance was like, "What's he doing?". I told him and he told his son that it isn't very nice to be doing that and that we don't do that in front of ladies. He told his son, "If you do that you won't get a girlfriend who does a lot of nice things for you like Candi does for me, don't you want a girlfriend like that?". His sons response..."No, she's (his future girlfriend) going to have to suck my balls." His ex-girlfriend also told us she found him with one of her current boyfriend's dad's "girly" magazines awhile back. We are a bit afraid he DOES understand what it means because of the context in which it was used AND how his mom can be (and again, I also understood fairly early about what all these things were). She thinks things like that are hilarious.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It does worry me at times too, the world is a scary place x