Scared to get excited

[mummy82]

Ok ladies i'm new to this site so please be patient with me because i've never posted on here either apart from to introduce myself. So, anyway......

I had a miscarriage in Feb 2012 at 6+4 weeks and it was the worse thing that has ever happened to me. I will never forget the pain, anger, confusion etc.

I am now 19 weeks pregnant (well I will be tomorrow) and apart from bleeding when I was about 6 weeks (implantation the hospital think) everything is going ok.

I have a problem though...i'm so scared to get excited in case it is all snatched away from me again . I have days where I think 'yes, i'm going to be a mummy' but most of the time it's spent feling miserable and worrying about every pain I get and what could possibly go wrong. Everybody has told me I need to relax and try to enjoy being pregnant but how can I when after all the research I done on pregnancy losses I know quite well what can happen? I know most of you are in the same boat as me and I know it is perfectly normal to be feeling like this, it's just some days I feel guilty on my little bean that I'm not excited.

I'm trying my best and i'm very protective over my little bump. In fact i'm that protective I don't even like it when my partner touches it!

I have my 20 week scan next week and even though some days I can't wait because it means I get to see my baby, i'm also very scared of what they could tell me.

Has anyone got any advice on how I can relax?

Thank you

 

[elohcin]

Congratulations!

I don't have any advice. I am the same way. 7 losses and I still haven't learned to walk that fine line of allowing myself to be excited while still protecting myself from the possible hurt of it happening again. It's easy to say "Be grateful for every day you get" but it's another thing in practice.

Praying all is well for you and you come to a peace about your pregnancy, enough to be excited!!

 

[mummy82]

Congratulations!

I don't have any advice. I am the same way. 7 losses and I still haven't learned to walk that fine line of allowing myself to be excited while still protecting myself from the possible hurt of it happening again. It's easy to say "Be grateful for every day you get" but it's another thing in practice.

Praying all is well for you and you come to a peace about your pregnancy, enough to be excited!!

Thank you for your reply and I a so sorry for your losses. Hopefully soon we can learn to relax a bit at a tie and take one day as it comes.
Good luck

 

[robinson380]

I know how you feel. I have just been trying to stay busy but it is much easier said than done! I feel guilty too. Now that the innocence of being so excited to get a BFP has been taken away by my mmc in June I am trying to stay positive and optimistic. Happy and healthy 9 months!