Scared to try for baby no 2

[shirlls]

I am not sure if this is the forum to post this, it is the closest one I could find.

First of all, the very best of luck to all of you on here, and I am sorry that you had to go through the awful experience of a loss, or losses.

Two years ago I had 2 mcs before I had my gorgeous LO who is now 13 months. They were early mcs at 6 weeks however caused OH and I a lot of distress and worry. When I got pregnant with my LO I had horrendous cramping for the first 9 weeks of my pregnancy, so bad that I was at A&E several times convinced I was miscarrying again. The doctors and midwives couldn't explain why I was having such bad cramping. I know mild cramping can be normal but this was intense and unbearable (my pain threshold is quite high). Even to this day I wonder if my body was trying to push the pregnancy out however thankfully he was strong and won.

OH and I are are ready to start ttc for our 2nd baby however I am terrified it will happen again. I know this time having our LO will make it slightly easier if it does happen, but I just want my most recent experience of pregnancy to be a good one and not go back to square one if it happened again.

I know I can't think like this and need to be positive as many women go through a lot worse and go on to try again, but it's just really niggling at me and it's putting me off ttc

 

[eblondie]

It took me quite some time to feel ready to try for my second child. I'm now 6w and part of me still doesn't feel ready. I guess what I'm trying to sayis that when you think you want to... Try... But don't expect yourself to feel totally ready. It's hard when you've gone through the pain of loss x

 

[dairymomma]

It'll work itself out. It's scary to contemplate having another pregnancy when you've gone through losses (I should know. I've had seven.) but only you can decide if having another baby is worth everything you'll go thru to get there. And perhaps your cramping won't even be an issue this time round. I'm in the early weeks of my 10th pregnancy overall and I can tell you, I've yet to have two pregnancies that are the same. I've had some where I'm puking several times a day only to find out it's a blighted ovum and this time I'm having hardly any symptoms at all. So good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[shirlls]

Thanks guys, and all the best to you both with your pregnancies xxxx

 

[PugLuvAh]

Once you've had a miscarriage, its really hard for it not to affect subsequent pregnancies.

I also had an early miscarriage, and I had a lot of bleeding (weeks 13-19) with my son when I thought I'd lose thim. Even though everything ended up being ok, its really hard not to think about having troubles this time around.

I just had my 12 week ultrasound on tuesday (everything was ok). Yes, I felt relief, but I also thought: this is when the bleeding started last time. So now I'm on edge again, waiting for bleeding that may never happen. A mix of excitement of being pregnant and being anxious. It never ends.

Its really hard being PAL, but when you feel you are ready to take that chance again you'll know. Each time I pass a milestone, my stress decreases and I enjoy the pregnancy more and more.

Good luck to you!