second baby to ff or bf...

[justkitty]

Long story cut short. Pcos plus 2litres of blood loss meant ds ended up being formula fed fro. 1m old and combifed for first month. He was always lazy with small appetite and got diagnosed with failure to thrive. He stopped gaining weight at 8m and is now on high calorie formula. He is nearly 1 now and may be on this formula until 2.

Baby is due in Sept and although I'll breastfeed the colustrum I'm not sure if I'll continue with bf which reassures me after the heartache and stress with ds and his continual poor eating. I am unsure how I'll cope bfing when ds needs my attention to eat & drink etc. Can it be done? At the same time it feels like a cop out & a bit upset to plan not to bf....

What are your experiences?

 

[Twinkie210]

I FF my first (I was still in college and working part time and I knew I could not make BFing work). I tried to BF my second, but had problems with latching and him gaining weight, so I switched to EPing after a week. I have been pumping for him for 4 months old. I miss bfing him directly, but it is reassuring that I know exactly how much he is eating.

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do, we are not in your situation, but don't feel like you are choosing a cop out if you ff. Bfing takes a lot of time and you have to do what is best for your family. If you have your heart set on trying to BF, then give it a go, you can always switch later. You have to make that decision, but know that there isn't one "right" answer, just what works best for you

 

[dizz]

I'm not sure which way I'll go - I have to say the appalling behaviour of some of the internet BF keyboard warriors tends to swing me more toward formula though - I'm just leaving it as a huge question mark I'll resolve in the light of how the birth goes (and WHEN the birth goes) and how I'm feeling then... but point blank - I'm not going down the exclusive pumping out of guilt route again - that decision's made.

 

[justkitty]

I pumped for 4 week's to combi feed amd found it horrendous emotionally with v little milk. Alot of it was unintentional pressure from mil over how odd it was to bottle feed. As it happens its very convenient to ff as hubby or relatives can help. I'll see how I get on. Dh unintentionally made me feel bad with ds as well but he didn't realise how hard it was with no mill etc

 

[ravenmel]

My first I had no plans to BF but ended up doing it for 11 months. My second who is 6 months, I planned to BF as it was so easy the first time and thought why wouldn't I. It was a nightmare she was an awful latcher, I'd get her on correct then she's move cutting my nipples. So I combi fed her. At first I was just going to stop BFing all together, but she's stopped being interested in BFing at 5 months so she's self weaned which is fine by me.

You never know really different baby second time so it might be o.k test it out and if it's not for you stop. Your baby, your choice

 

[aliss]

My 1st was FF and had a ton of medical problems, but my 2nd I BF and he was very easy to deal with (totally different birth and no medical problems). I have found BF to be much easier in general b/c of the side effects of the formula (dairy intolerances etc).

All babies are different, just b/c your first son was sick, does not mean your next baby will be! You never know

 

[Ktothema]

I wanted to bf the first but she ended up on formula in nicu. I pumped to combi feed like others but had little supply and it was awful. With the second I chose not to try for many reasons. I'm very happy with this, I know I've made the right choice for me and my family. Like Dizz says some of the militant bf mums on the internet and professionals in my area really put me off too (I know lots of people who bf who aren't like that, don't know why the internet is the way it is, but ironically the local ones all agree with me that the professional militancy makes them angry too). Personally I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I have two very different children who are both doing absolutely wonderfully.

You can only go with what you feel is right. Don't let anyone guilt you either way or you'll make the wrong decision for yourself and family. If you're thinking you'd like to but are worried then why not try it out but have some formula on hand just in case?

 

[justkitty]

Thank you ladies. Ds has so many problems not gaining weight even though no signs of illneas etc I spend half my life at thr paediatrician appointments. I'll give it a go and see. Doesn't help my sister ff her first and then her second had a great latch and my sister gave up bf after less than a week because of doing the school run and her hubby being unable to help. She said she wishes she had carried on but couldn't see how. It just makes me feel like I'm destined not to be able to. Silly self fullfillong prophecy

 

[fides]

I'm not sure which way I'll go - I have to say the appalling behaviour of some of the internet BF keyboard warriors tends to swing me more toward formula though

same here.

i'm not sure. i feel better prepared to bottle feed this time around, and while i am probably going to give BF a second try, i'm only giving it a few days or a week at most instead of being bull-headed and dragging it on and on and on out of guilt.

Thank you ladies. Ds has so many problems not gaining weight even though no signs of illneas etc I spend half my life at thr paediatrician appointments. I'll give it a go and see. Doesn't help my sister ff her first and then her second had a great latch and my sister gave up bf after less than a week because of doing the school run and her hubby being unable to help. She said she wishes she had carried on but couldn't see how. It just makes me feel like I'm destined not to be able to. Silly self fullfillong prophecy

awww, i don't think it is a self-fulfilling prophecy for you at all - please don't put that weight on your shoulders, hun.