Secondary infertility - anyone else experiencing it?

[Cookie1979]

I've posted in the TTC thread but I thought I might have better luck in here trying to find people in a similar situation.

I conceived my son without trying despite having PCOS, my cycles are good, shorter than even when I conceived my son, I ovulate every month, my husbands swimmers are swimming well yet we are now on our 21st month of trying to conceive.

I'm now thinking its my age, I'm 35 soon to be 36 and thats the only difference between now and when I fell pregnant.

Would love to chat with anyone else that is struggling!

I'm really not in a good place right now, every single woman from my postnatal group has had another baby, I've got to the point where I don't meet up with them anymore, because I can't handle it. And one of my oldest friends who said she didn't want another and whose son is 10 days younger than mine is pregnant and due in April. That announcement really got to me, I cried for days.

I think people assume because I have one that it shouldn't hurt so much, but it does hurt, it really does and I can't avoid babies, whether its the postnatal girls, at preschool or play dates I am constantly reminded of what they all have and what I dont have.

Forgot to say that we have our first fertility appointment in a weeks time (Tuesday next week) so really hope the doctor will help us. In the UK so there is not much available to me due to my age and the fact that I've had a baby.

 

[ErinGray]

Hi...I have been in your shoes! I got pregnant with my son first try. It took about a year of trying to get pregnant with my daughter (she will be 3 in April). No idea why it took so long the second time! I just turned 35 and we are thinking about trying for a 3rd.

My only advice is to try to stay positive...you WILL get pregnant...it is just a matter of when

 

[penelopejones]

I've been ttc #2 for 11 months with no luck at all. I'm 37 and DH is 34. It took us 6 months to conceive dd when I was 35. I don't know what gives.

It does still hurt--almost more than the first time--because I know we COULD conceive at one point, so now I'm wondering whether that has changed. I too have been semi-diagnosed with PCOS, but never definitively, so I don't know if that's part of it.

 

[Nikki1979]

Hi, I am experiencing secondary infertility too. DS was conceived in the first month and now its almost two years since I have been trying to conceive number 2. I hv had 2 losses in the mean time. I was 27 when I had ds and been ttc number two from the age 33... am 35 now. I hope you are blessed with a bfp soon. As for me, I dont know how much more I can take. Really getting depressed now.

 

[Mommieh25]

I've posted in the TTC thread but I thought I might have better luck in here trying to find people in a similar situation.

I conceived my son without trying despite having PCOS, my cycles are good, shorter than even when I conceived my son, I ovulate every month, my husbands swimmers are swimming well yet we are now on our 21st month of trying to conceive.

I'm now thinking its my age, I'm 35 soon to be 36 and thats the only difference between now and when I fell pregnant.

Would love to chat with anyone else that is struggling!

I'm really not in a good place right now, every single woman from my postnatal group has had another baby, I've got to the point where I don't meet up with them anymore, because I can't handle it. And one of my oldest friends who said she didn't want another and whose son is 10 days younger than mine is pregnant and due in April. That announcement really got to me, I cried for days.

I think people assume because I have one that it shouldn't hurt so much, but it does hurt, it really does and I can't avoid babies, whether its the postnatal girls, at preschool or play dates I am constantly reminded of what they all have and what I dont have.

Forgot to say that we have our first fertility appointment in a weeks time (Tuesday next week) so really hope the doctor will help us. In the UK so there is not much available to me due to my age and the fact that I've had a baby.

I'm ttc#4. This is my second assisted conception. My third I used clomid. I did't start having babies til later in life. I am now almost forty. My RE said it is age. My youngest is two.

Regardless, I think you have a few good years ahead of you. You will get your little miracle!

 

[Cookie1979]

Hi ladies!

ErinGray - Thank you, I hope it will, am trying to think positive. xx

Penelope - my fertility doctor doesn't seem to think its my PCOS that is causing my fertility problems, you'd probably find it would be a problem if its stopping you from ovulating. Have you seen a doctor about your fertility? xx

Nikki - Thank you! Its hard to try for so long and not get anywhere, and so frustrating when you have already had a baby. You just feel like how the hell is it not happening when it happened so easily with the first...I just don't get it!! So sorry about your losses. xx

Mommieh25 - did you use Clomid because you weren't ovulating or did you use it despite ovulating to improve egg quality?

Well yesterday I had my first fertility appointment, I can't say I was filled with hope when I left. On a positive note the doctor doesn't think there is anything wrong, but she's reluctant to give me Clomid as can mean twins, but to be honest I'm willing to take the risk. Anyway got to have my progesterone checked over the next 2 cycles and a hsg, and then go back in June...apparently its because it will take a while to get the hsg done, but if I get it fairly quickly I can call and bring the appointment forward. Lets hope I'm lucky. On another positive note my weight wasn't mentioned and I was worried I'd be told I need to lose weight - I have already lost 2 and a half stone (35 lbs) so I'm going to focus on losing more weight and will hopefully have at least another stone off (14 lbs) by my next appointment. Its good to have a focus.

Have any of you had your rubella immunity checked? I'd completely forgot but when I was pregnant I had low immunity, and I have no idea if I had the booster so I have a blood test to check it and if I don't have immunity I need to have a booster and then hold off ttc for a month after...which is not good but what can I do? Wish I'd remembered but the immunity was mentioned once when I was pregnant and obviously having a baby was a big distraction.

x

 

[Mommieh25]

Hi ladies!

ErinGray - Thank you, I hope it will, am trying to think positive. xx

Penelope - my fertility doctor doesn't seem to think its my PCOS that is causing my fertility problems, you'd probably find it would be a problem if its stopping you from ovulating. Have you seen a doctor about your fertility? xx

Nikki - Thank you! Its hard to try for so long and not get anywhere, and so frustrating when you have already had a baby. You just feel like how the hell is it not happening when it happened so easily with the first...I just don't get it!! So sorry about your losses. xx

Mommieh25 - did you use Clomid because you weren't ovulating or did you use it despite ovulating to improve egg quality?

Well yesterday I had my first fertility appointment, I can't say I was filled with hope when I left. On a positive note the doctor doesn't think there is anything wrong, but she's reluctant to give me Clomid as can mean twins, but to be honest I'm willing to take the risk. Anyway got to have my progesterone checked over the next 2 cycles and a hsg, and then go back in June...apparently its because it will take a while to get the hsg done, but if I get it fairly quickly I can call and bring the appointment forward. Lets hope I'm lucky. On another positive note my weight wasn't mentioned and I was worried I'd be told I need to lose weight - I have already lost 2 and a half stone (35 lbs) so I'm going to focus on losing more weight and will hopefully have at least another stone off (14 lbs) by my next appointment. Its good to have a focus.

Have any of you had your rubella immunity checked? I'd completely forgot but when I was pregnant I had low immunity, and I have no idea if I had the booster so I have a blood test to check it and if I don't have immunity I need to have a booster and then hold off ttc for a month after...which is not good but what can I do? Wish I'd remembered but the immunity was mentioned once when I was pregnant and obviously having a baby was a big distraction.

x

I ovulate. I think it was just to improve egg quality. We found out during the c-section I had tons of scar tissue. Could be why dye was hard to go through in my left tube during hsg. But I have a little girl. Now we're just trying for pregnancy number 4.

 

[Cookie1979]

My fertility doctor isn't keen to give me Clomid and seems to think it will happen naturally, but I'm going to print off information about secondary infertility and clomid, going to fight my corner.

Feeling rather peeved right now, I should have been offered the MMR vaccine after I had my son as my immunity was low when I was pregnant, but they didn't so I've now got to have a blood test and if it comes back as I think it will I will have to put trying to conceive on hold for a couple of months. Feeling annoyed.

 

[Mommieh25]

My fertility doctor isn't keen to give me Clomid and seems to think it will happen naturally, but I'm going to print off information about secondary infertility and clomid, going to fight my corner.

Feeling rather peeved right now, I should have been offered the MMR vaccine after I had my son as my immunity was low when I was pregnant, but they didn't so I've now got to have a blood test and if it comes back as I think it will I will have to put trying to conceive on hold for a couple of months. Feeling annoyed.

I'm so sorry to hear that Cookie. Prayerfully it will not come out bad. I hope so for you. Sending you hugs that you get good news.
Your journey to get that BFP will be worth it in the end.

 

[Cookie1979]

Thank you. I'm trying not to let myself get wound up...you never know, a little break could do me the world of good. xx

 

[Mommieh25]

Thank you. I'm trying not to let myself get wound up...you never know, a little break could do me the world of good. xx

That is true also. Praying for you. We're always here on bandb for ya!

 

[penelopejones]

Cookie - I have my first fertility doc appointment on Tuesday! I don't know much about what to expect. Did they check out your DH as well?

I did ask my ob/gyn about it, and her ran 7dpo tests that came back normal. That was a couple months ago. He was rather dismissive though and seemed to think as long as I was ovulating, there should be no problem.

I know it could happen if we just keep trying, but I kind of want to do a full round of tests just to know if something is up.

 

[Cookie1979]

Hi Penelope, well I'm in the UK so it could be different for you, I already had a blood test to check ovulation etc, and my hubby has had his Semen Analysis. I had to have an internal examination and she wants me to have my progesterone levels checked over my next 2 cycles and a hsg (to check my tubes are clear) and also my hubby needs to have another SA. We go back in June. We are under NHS care, so things tend to be slow. I also need to get my rubella immunity checked and if its low, which I'm sure it is as it was when I was pregnant with my son, then I have to have a booster, and then stop trying for a month after.

Good luck with your appointment. xx

 

[xurfingers]

Hi, Cookie! I have been suffering from secondary infertility FOREVER it seems so I know exactly how you feel. Although I don't know how it feels to have never given birth, I can tell you that anytime you can't conceive, it hurts. It's become a sense of personal failure for me. And when the doctor can't give you a reason as to why, it's very hard to accept. Best advice I can give is not to let it consume you. Be okay with it not happening as well. It can quickly impact your relationship. I wish you the best of luck!

 

[tag74]

thank you all for sharing your stories. I had my 1st at 25 and my second at 38, both unassisted and on the first try. We are trying for our 3rd now and on cycle #6.

Praying we all get our BFPs. xoxo

 

[xurfingers]

thank you all for sharing your stories. I had my 1st at 25 and my second at 38, both unassisted and on the first try. We are trying for our 3rd now and on cycle #6.

Praying we all get our BFPs. xoxo

Wow! That's amazing fertility, girl! You shouldn't have any problems conceiving your 3rd.

 

[tag74]

I hope you're right, but we've been "doing everything right" and I'm worried about being over 40 now and nothing happening. Been reading how 2nd fertility is super common especially as you get older. Grrrrr....

 

[tag74]

I have my fingers cross for you xurfingers! You deserve this. It's fun having kids 13 years apart.

 

[xurfingers]

Thanks, tag74! We have not had any success with ART cycles but we have had three natural conceptions over the past three years but sadly, all ended by week 6. After the last chemical in August, I did a recurrent pregnancy loss panel which revealed MTHFR gene defect. I've been taking the recommended vitamins since then and with no subsequent pregnancies. So, I'm thinking it's my age and my body just isn't interested. LOL You know, three years ago I was like ' I could totally have another and it would be cool to have kids 14 years apart', but now... I'm looking at 18 years apart and the reality of grandchildren in the future. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up yet, but I'm starting to think about romantic vacations, etc.... Without kids! Lol

 

[Mommieh25]

Thanks, tag74! We have not had any success with ART cycles but we have had three natural conceptions over the past three years but sadly, all ended by week 6. After the last chemical in August, I did a recurrent pregnancy loss panel which revealed MTHFR gene defect. I've been taking the recommended vitamins since then and with no subsequent pregnancies. So, I'm thinking it's my age and my body just isn't interested. LOL You know, three years ago I was like ' I could totally have another and it would be cool to have kids 14 years apart', but now... I'm looking at 18 years apart and the reality of grandchildren in the future. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up yet, but I'm starting to think about romantic vacations, etc.... Without kids! Lol

I hope you hear good news. I completely understand about age also because I'm trying again at 39. I know right!