Sex? No, thank you.

[Kat541]

I am almost 3 months post-partum, and I feel like I could die happy never having sex again. I didn't want to during pregnancy, either, so it's been over 6 months since we've had sex, and hubby is starting to question my lack of motivation. I don't have an answer for him, I just know that sex sounds totally gross. I don't want to be touched at all or even kiss. Is this a hormone issue or a mental issue? Both? Anyone else been here?

 

[kgriffin]

I have this issue too. My daughter is nearly two! We dtd a few times a month but even then I dont want it. I dont want to make out or anything either. My poor dh. Doc told me it was hormones but that was a few months pp. Nothing has changed. I still find dh very attractive. So i really dont know what the issue is hope it doesn't continue for you.

 

[bcos21]

I am going through this too. I stopped taking the mini pill because I thought maybe that was affecting it too. I got to the point where I was feeling funny about dh kissing me and I told him I wasn't sure if I was in love with him anymore. I have started feeling a little better but I am also still nursing my son so that could also be a factor. I have just committed to being honest with him, I still think he's attractive and I love him I just wasn't feeling that emotional spark. A friend told me she didn't start feeling the same emotionally until her daughter was a year old. Hang in there!

 

[Kat541]

I've been reading around on other boards, and I came across this post. I thought there were some surprisingly good responses telling what their doctors told them. Basically, the hormones and low estrogen during breastfeeding cause a lack of desire, and that couples with with the oxytocin release that gives us the same high that an orgasm does. This process was good in nature back in old times, because it works as a natural birth control for baby spacing.
So I guess my body is rocking at the caveman level. :/

https://www.whattoexpect.com/groups/m/breastfeeding/discussion/7165914.html

 

[Whitesoxfan41]

Ness is 3 months old and I'm still so tired I can't even imagine having sex. . .and I'm usually the one with a higher drive. Hugs!

 

[Kat541]

Being too tired from #1 was how I slacked on using birth control and ended up with #2! I felt guilty not "helping" DH out with his "need"... turned out to be the biggest favor I've ever done...
Looking back, I can't imagine how close we came to not having this beautiful, amazing little girl! It all weirds me out to the point I almost feel guilty using BC because of all the smiles I could be missing.

 

[TCK_Runner]

Yep, bad here, too. We only did it a few times during the second half of pregnancy because he was afraid of hurting me, I was dry and had no libido... etc etc. Only did it late in third tri because we heard it would start labor, though I didn't enjoy it that much because of dryness and I was too big to do my favorite positions. On top of that, I don't really like breastfeeding, it hurts most the time (her latch when she gets lazy), and I have to pump so my nipples are getting sore. I haven't had great sex (afaic) in what feels like an eternity.

Meanwhile, I gave my husband his 'present' 2 weeks ago and he's due for another... I sent him to the store for diapers and what not the other day and he came back with condoms for "when the doctor clears you at the upcoming appointment!" He says the 50-something year old female cashier gave him a "good job for thinking ahead" look - I say it was a "hopeful husband" look ... lol

 

[george83]

I'm glad I'm not alone in this, my lo is 16 weeks and tbh I can't stand the thought of my oh coming anywhere near me. I don't remember this at all with my first

 

[HBGirl]

Guess its just me who is rampantly horney then. Unfortunately DH has been behaving like a dick so we have only done it once since DD was born.

 

[Dawnlouise30]

My LO is nearly 19 months and it has never been the same since. He was a big boy, traumatic birth, episiotomy etc etc so i was physically unable for 6 months as it was too sore to try. It was at 10 months pp that we tried again and it was hard, no desire on my part...... I felt the pill was affecting my feelings but when i came off it nothing changed.
I don't know what the issue is for me, i love my husband, i find him attractive but gee sex is the last thing on my mind...... Maybe tiredness plays a big part.