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(this is long - sorry!)
I've had a fairly easy go of it, pregnancy wise. I was pretty lucky. Bad nausea at the start but no actual vomiting, constant heartburn and back ache once in the second trimester but that's about it. Then I got to 34 weeks and decided to have a growth and well being scan privately purely because I wanted to see baby again!
And that's where it went downhill.
At that scan, her head and femur measured bang on date but her stomach, the most important part, was measuring 2 weeks behind. I left there with a note for my midwife recommending that I be sent for an NHS growth scan. That was Sunday 13th July.
I went to my midwife on Thursday 17th July at 35 weeks. I gave her the note and she booked me in for a growth scan - easy! Then she measured my fundal height which, at every appointment so far, had again measured bang on dates. Until now! I measured 32 weeks, 3 weeks behind what I was. This, my midwife said, would have got me booked in for a growth scan even without the note from the private sono.
Nearing the end of that appointment, my midwife brought up elective early induction or c section. My mum has terminal cancer and lives with me - I'm her sole carer. Being able to plan my delivery meant we'd be able to put extra things in place for the both of us after delivery. I told her that would be fantastic so I was also booked in to speak to a consultant about that and sent away to think about possible dates that would be best for us.
The following Monday, 21st July, I toddled along to my growth scan. Now? Baby had fallen further behind and was now measuring 3 weeks behind. I was sent straight up to triage and day assessment at the hospital.
There, after an 8 hour wait, I was placed on the heart monitor and spoke to a doctor. The doctor had a good feel of baby and explained that she felt like she was smaller than the growth scans had placed her estimated weight. The scan at 34 weeks had estimated her to be 4lb 13oz.
I had to go to day assessment twice a week to be placed on the heart monitor and have a scan to measure fluid levels and blood flow - this would carry on until birth. That was a nightmare, never waiting less than 3 hours to be seen, but nice to be taken care of!
Friday 1st August, the date of my consultant appointment, rolled around and I had to take a friend of the family with my as this was also the date of my mum's chemotherapy treatment and she's away all day. The woman was really nice and we had a nice long talk about what induction involved and she decided that this would be the best option for me, given my age, it being my first baby and she "liked babies to try naturally first". So she got on the phone and, within 30 minutes of walking in the door, I had my date - Thursday 7th August. Yikes!
It was all go now. Just 6 days away! I hadn't even packed a hospital bag nor had I even bought 70% of the stuff needed for it! So the next few days were filled with throwing that together, getting babies stuff completed and done ready for her to come home, packing my bag, sorting out her clothes, pulling out the travel systems and learning how they work.... very busy! The time passed quickly.
On Thursday, I woke up early and double checked everything was ready to go. We had to be at the hospital for 12:30 and we arrived just in time! We were taken up to the ward, I was allowed a few minutes to settle into my bed space and then the midwives got me on the heart rate monitor. All good! Not long after, the doctor arrived with a student doctor and gave me an internal examination. I was about 1.5cm dilated and she gave me a sweep then I was left for another 30 minutes on the monitor. Once that was taken off, they returned to insert the pessary. She let the student doctor do this but talked her through it and, whilst uncomfortable, it was over fairly quickly and I was left to lie on my side for 30 minutes to let the pessary start doing its job. That was pretty uncomfortable but it passed quickly and then the midwife was back to place me on the heart monitor again to make sure baby was doing okay.
She wasn't.
She didn't react well to the hormones in the pessary at all- her heart rate kept dipping right down, reaching 40bpm at one point. The midwife didn't seem too concerned and said it happens sometimes so we waited a few minutes to see if it would stabilise. When it didn't, she got the doctor back and it dropped right back down again just as the doctor was monitoring it. She told me the pessary had to come out. Baby wasn't reacting well so the plan was to get it out, let her heart stabilise and then we'd try again later so we done that whilst I was still attached to the monitor. It didn't work. Each time her heart rate fell, it stayed down for longer and longer. There were lots of words back and forth between her and the midwife that I didn't really understand and then the doctor told me that I was being moved to the labour ward - there, I'd be in a room on my own and would have 1 on 1 midwife care rather than the 1 midwife to 6 women in the ward I was currently in.
She seemed pretty calm so I too was pretty calm, nothing to worry about! Until I went to get off the bed to move and was told to get my clothes on as fast as I could and leave my bags. Apparently the situation wasn't as run of the mill as I thought.
I got to the labour ward, into my room, was introduced to the midwife and student midwife that would be looking after me and everyone left so it was just me, those two and my mum. They got me up on the bed, back on the heart monitor and back to being monitored. When her heart continued to dip, a new doctor came in and explained that if it didn't pick up SOON, we would need to get baby out and the only option left was a section. At this point, my own heart was racing and I was absolutely terrified - I nodded and told her that was okay. She left the room again and, seconds later, her heart dropped dramatically. The new doctor, the "old" induction doctor and the student doctor ran into the room and looked over the monitor. I was told that it was time - baby needed out NOW. As soon as I nodded, the room was filled with people. Someone was undressing me, someone was reading me a consent form, someone was removing my jewellery and glasses, someone was explaining what was going to happen, the anaesthetist was explaining what he would be doing and the doctor was putting the thickest needle I've ever seen in my life into my hand - at one point, the blood was gushing out of it everywhere! It was at this point that I just... broke. I was beyond terrified. The situation had gone from being calm and fine and just a little issue that should straighten out soon to... this. A room full to the brim with doctors, consultants, god knows who else. I burst into tears, I'd never been so scared in my life. I was horrifically overwhelmed at how quickly the situation had turned dire, the amount of people in the room and I thought I was losing my baby. I had my mum holding one hand and my midwife holding the other as they ran with my bed to theatre.
Once in there, another large group of people were introduced to me and they were all so amazing, taking the time to actually talk to me despite the huge rush to get everything done. My mum was away putting scrubs on but my midwife never left my side or let go of my hand the entire time, even once mum had returned and was sitting in the chair she'd be in during the procedure. The spinal was put in, I lay down on the table, the screen was put up and everyone got to work. I had my mum to my left and the anaesthetist was at the back of me, behind my head. He was really, honest to god amazing. He talked to me the entire time, told me exactly what I should be feeling, why I was feeling that and what was happening.
The procedure was very quick and, as soon as she was out, she was whisked away to be cleaned up - she'd also swallowed some meconium. The team got to work closing me up and this took about three times as long as the procedure itself! But eventually the midwife came back into the room with my daughter all wrapped up in a towel. So wrapped up that there literally wasn't an angle she could be held at for me, still on the table, to see! My mum got out my phone to take her first photos and couldn't figure out how to work it so the anaesthetist took it off her and took them for me. And that was how I saw my daughter for the first time - in a photo! She was beautiful. I was so happy that my mum had been able to be the first to hold her and she was the first to give her a feed, right there in theatre.
Once sewn up, I was taken to recovery for an hour or so where I finally got to see her and hold her and it was the most magical feeling ever!
And now here we are, almost a week later and I'm exhausted but I'm happy. So stupidly happy!
Pixie Maggie Lua White was born at 17:58 on Thursday 7th August at 38 weeks by emergency c section. She weighed 4lb 4oz. Officially an IUGR baby and fetal heart anomoly is the listed reason for the section.
Her first photo and the first look I got at her!
My first hold
With my mum
2 days old
4 days old, the day we were released from hospital
I've had a fairly easy go of it, pregnancy wise. I was pretty lucky. Bad nausea at the start but no actual vomiting, constant heartburn and back ache once in the second trimester but that's about it. Then I got to 34 weeks and decided to have a growth and well being scan privately purely because I wanted to see baby again!
And that's where it went downhill.
At that scan, her head and femur measured bang on date but her stomach, the most important part, was measuring 2 weeks behind. I left there with a note for my midwife recommending that I be sent for an NHS growth scan. That was Sunday 13th July.
I went to my midwife on Thursday 17th July at 35 weeks. I gave her the note and she booked me in for a growth scan - easy! Then she measured my fundal height which, at every appointment so far, had again measured bang on dates. Until now! I measured 32 weeks, 3 weeks behind what I was. This, my midwife said, would have got me booked in for a growth scan even without the note from the private sono.
Nearing the end of that appointment, my midwife brought up elective early induction or c section. My mum has terminal cancer and lives with me - I'm her sole carer. Being able to plan my delivery meant we'd be able to put extra things in place for the both of us after delivery. I told her that would be fantastic so I was also booked in to speak to a consultant about that and sent away to think about possible dates that would be best for us.
The following Monday, 21st July, I toddled along to my growth scan. Now? Baby had fallen further behind and was now measuring 3 weeks behind. I was sent straight up to triage and day assessment at the hospital.
There, after an 8 hour wait, I was placed on the heart monitor and spoke to a doctor. The doctor had a good feel of baby and explained that she felt like she was smaller than the growth scans had placed her estimated weight. The scan at 34 weeks had estimated her to be 4lb 13oz.
I had to go to day assessment twice a week to be placed on the heart monitor and have a scan to measure fluid levels and blood flow - this would carry on until birth. That was a nightmare, never waiting less than 3 hours to be seen, but nice to be taken care of!
Friday 1st August, the date of my consultant appointment, rolled around and I had to take a friend of the family with my as this was also the date of my mum's chemotherapy treatment and she's away all day. The woman was really nice and we had a nice long talk about what induction involved and she decided that this would be the best option for me, given my age, it being my first baby and she "liked babies to try naturally first". So she got on the phone and, within 30 minutes of walking in the door, I had my date - Thursday 7th August. Yikes!
It was all go now. Just 6 days away! I hadn't even packed a hospital bag nor had I even bought 70% of the stuff needed for it! So the next few days were filled with throwing that together, getting babies stuff completed and done ready for her to come home, packing my bag, sorting out her clothes, pulling out the travel systems and learning how they work.... very busy! The time passed quickly.
On Thursday, I woke up early and double checked everything was ready to go. We had to be at the hospital for 12:30 and we arrived just in time! We were taken up to the ward, I was allowed a few minutes to settle into my bed space and then the midwives got me on the heart rate monitor. All good! Not long after, the doctor arrived with a student doctor and gave me an internal examination. I was about 1.5cm dilated and she gave me a sweep then I was left for another 30 minutes on the monitor. Once that was taken off, they returned to insert the pessary. She let the student doctor do this but talked her through it and, whilst uncomfortable, it was over fairly quickly and I was left to lie on my side for 30 minutes to let the pessary start doing its job. That was pretty uncomfortable but it passed quickly and then the midwife was back to place me on the heart monitor again to make sure baby was doing okay.
She wasn't.
She didn't react well to the hormones in the pessary at all- her heart rate kept dipping right down, reaching 40bpm at one point. The midwife didn't seem too concerned and said it happens sometimes so we waited a few minutes to see if it would stabilise. When it didn't, she got the doctor back and it dropped right back down again just as the doctor was monitoring it. She told me the pessary had to come out. Baby wasn't reacting well so the plan was to get it out, let her heart stabilise and then we'd try again later so we done that whilst I was still attached to the monitor. It didn't work. Each time her heart rate fell, it stayed down for longer and longer. There were lots of words back and forth between her and the midwife that I didn't really understand and then the doctor told me that I was being moved to the labour ward - there, I'd be in a room on my own and would have 1 on 1 midwife care rather than the 1 midwife to 6 women in the ward I was currently in.
She seemed pretty calm so I too was pretty calm, nothing to worry about! Until I went to get off the bed to move and was told to get my clothes on as fast as I could and leave my bags. Apparently the situation wasn't as run of the mill as I thought.
I got to the labour ward, into my room, was introduced to the midwife and student midwife that would be looking after me and everyone left so it was just me, those two and my mum. They got me up on the bed, back on the heart monitor and back to being monitored. When her heart continued to dip, a new doctor came in and explained that if it didn't pick up SOON, we would need to get baby out and the only option left was a section. At this point, my own heart was racing and I was absolutely terrified - I nodded and told her that was okay. She left the room again and, seconds later, her heart dropped dramatically. The new doctor, the "old" induction doctor and the student doctor ran into the room and looked over the monitor. I was told that it was time - baby needed out NOW. As soon as I nodded, the room was filled with people. Someone was undressing me, someone was reading me a consent form, someone was removing my jewellery and glasses, someone was explaining what was going to happen, the anaesthetist was explaining what he would be doing and the doctor was putting the thickest needle I've ever seen in my life into my hand - at one point, the blood was gushing out of it everywhere! It was at this point that I just... broke. I was beyond terrified. The situation had gone from being calm and fine and just a little issue that should straighten out soon to... this. A room full to the brim with doctors, consultants, god knows who else. I burst into tears, I'd never been so scared in my life. I was horrifically overwhelmed at how quickly the situation had turned dire, the amount of people in the room and I thought I was losing my baby. I had my mum holding one hand and my midwife holding the other as they ran with my bed to theatre.
Once in there, another large group of people were introduced to me and they were all so amazing, taking the time to actually talk to me despite the huge rush to get everything done. My mum was away putting scrubs on but my midwife never left my side or let go of my hand the entire time, even once mum had returned and was sitting in the chair she'd be in during the procedure. The spinal was put in, I lay down on the table, the screen was put up and everyone got to work. I had my mum to my left and the anaesthetist was at the back of me, behind my head. He was really, honest to god amazing. He talked to me the entire time, told me exactly what I should be feeling, why I was feeling that and what was happening.
The procedure was very quick and, as soon as she was out, she was whisked away to be cleaned up - she'd also swallowed some meconium. The team got to work closing me up and this took about three times as long as the procedure itself! But eventually the midwife came back into the room with my daughter all wrapped up in a towel. So wrapped up that there literally wasn't an angle she could be held at for me, still on the table, to see! My mum got out my phone to take her first photos and couldn't figure out how to work it so the anaesthetist took it off her and took them for me. And that was how I saw my daughter for the first time - in a photo! She was beautiful. I was so happy that my mum had been able to be the first to hold her and she was the first to give her a feed, right there in theatre.
Once sewn up, I was taken to recovery for an hour or so where I finally got to see her and hold her and it was the most magical feeling ever!
And now here we are, almost a week later and I'm exhausted but I'm happy. So stupidly happy!
Pixie Maggie Lua White was born at 17:58 on Thursday 7th August at 38 weeks by emergency c section. She weighed 4lb 4oz. Officially an IUGR baby and fetal heart anomoly is the listed reason for the section.
Her first photo and the first look I got at her!
My first hold
With my mum
2 days old
4 days old, the day we were released from hospital
So glad to hear everything went well after the birth and she is finally here, safe and sound.
xx
