1
1st_baby
Guest
Sorry girls im on a roll here
You Have A Cute Baby
We brought our newborn son, Justin, to the pediatrician for his first checkup. As he finished, the doctor told us, You have a cute baby.
Smiling, I said, I bet you say that to all new parents.
No, he replied, just to those whose babies really are good-looking.
So what do you say to the others? I asked.
He looks just like you.
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Can I See The Baby
With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet Soon," said the 65 year-old mother.
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"Not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"
"WHEN IT CRIES," she told them.
"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"
Because I forgot where i put it !
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Thumb Sucker
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."
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Toddler Rules Of Ownership
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a week ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9. If it it's near me, it's mine.
10. If it's broccoli, it's yours.
You Have A Cute Baby
We brought our newborn son, Justin, to the pediatrician for his first checkup. As he finished, the doctor told us, You have a cute baby.
Smiling, I said, I bet you say that to all new parents.
No, he replied, just to those whose babies really are good-looking.
So what do you say to the others? I asked.
He looks just like you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can I See The Baby
With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet Soon," said the 65 year-old mother.
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"Not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"
"WHEN IT CRIES," she told them.
"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"
Because I forgot where i put it !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thumb Sucker
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toddler Rules Of Ownership
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a week ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9. If it it's near me, it's mine.
10. If it's broccoli, it's yours.
