Should I quit?

[sarajane]

Hi guys,

I need some advice as I feel completely lost!

I am currently doing a PGCE Primary to become a teacher. I have a 21 month old son, and also live with my partner but I am really really struggling with the course.

I was an English as a Foreign Language teacher for 3 years previously and also a TA in a British school for a year and thought teaching was totally for me but I am beginning to hate it after starting this course. When I was on placement I was leaving the house at 7am getting home at 6pm and working til midnight - 1am and then starting again, and losing my whole weekends every week. I was crying every day from tiredness and stress. In the end I broke down half way through placement, I had a good chat with the class teacher and managed to turn things around but I still ended up with an area for concern the day before the end of placement for not moving on their learning enough. It was so frustrating after improving so much.

So, the university has asked me to consider whether teaching is definitely for me, although the school was happy with my progress. However, I really didn´t feel hugely supported by the school, when I told them that I was struggling, their answer was that maybe I should defer because it is hard doing this with a child.

I was so angry that they assume that I am struggling because I have a son! It seems they don´t like me as much as the other student. They gave the other student the medium term plans so she could do her planning for the whole term from the beginning, but for me they tell me what I am teaching the following week the friday afternoon before so I have to do the whole lot over my weekend. I have spoken to them several times about this but it gets turned back on me as all my fault for not planning enough in advance.

I don´t know what to do, I am really not enjoying teaching anymore and don´t know whether to continue with the course

I can´t see myself going in to teaching anymore, but I also don´t want to regret it if I quit.

Sorry for the essay/rant! Any advice appreciated

xx

 

[Lisa40]

Awwww

I really don't know what to suggest but I didn't want to read & run.

I was doing an open university degree & had to defer when I had my LO in October, I just couldn't get anything done with her as a newborn. It did upset me but I'm much less stressed now, I was doing the course just for my own personal enjoyment though as I have a job that I love already & hopefully I'll go back to the course at some point in the future.

I think you need to weigh up the pros & cons of continuing & ask yourself a few questions (although I'm sure you've done this already)

how long do you have left until you finish?
Was teaching always your dream?
Will teaching be better than the job you have now in terms of time off with your LO in the future ( my partner is a teacher & I'm so jealous that he'll get to spend all summer with our LO)
will you be better off financially once you are a teacher?
What's the competition like for jobs once you qualify?
If you did defer will that affect future job prospects?

Good luck, hope it all works out for you.
xx

 

[Rainbow82]

I really felt fir you reading this as it brought back so much from my own first placement but if it really was your dream don't give up until you have been in your next placement a few weeks because the school you are in and tge support they give you makes all the difference. Also the planning really does get easier, I promise. At this point in my pgce I would be up most if the night and working all weekend and in tears every day because of an awful mentor who would tear every lesson to shreds and complain that I didn't ask for feedback enough ( I would always ask and email and she never gave me any!) but just two weeks into tge second placement I was getting 1's in observations at a really supportive school and with an amazing mentor. And by the end of the year planning would take an hour or two in the evening at most and all I did at weekends was keep my rpd up to date.

 

[sarajane]

Thanks for the advice! It´s really helpful. The thing is, this year they have changed the course, so I stay in the same course with same mentor etc in the second placement.. which is what is also upsetting me so much. My mentor and class teacher are different but I feel like I´m banging my head against a wall and I feel like i´m neglecting my son so much! I literally just don´t see him because I am working so much!

My mentor sets me targets and then pretty much ignores me. So everything is my fault if I don´t meet them. The uni don´t care much either. I have spoken to them but they won´t do anything due to shortage of placement schools. I am dreading going back into school and I´m scared this is going to be my whole life. Especially I don´t even know if I will have a job at the end of it. I am in Kent, there are usually a lot of jobs around but also a lot of competition! I also don´t know why but I´m just not enjoying the teaching anymore!

Also, I am trilingual (French, Spanish, English) and was hoping to use my languages a lot more as I´m doing Primary with Languages but the school I´m at has cut languages from the curriculum!

Sucks so much. I spoke to my class teacher about it all and was basically told it doesnt get any easier, and I´ll always be spending my weekends doing work. Also, I really really don´t cope well with being observed!

So, although I love teaching I just don´t know if I am good enough to do it anymore, they have really sucked out my soul at this placement school. All my family and friends have commented how miserable I am. But when I was working in education before I loved it! I just don´t know what to do!


Thanks for your help though! It really helps to know I´m not the only one suffering!

 

[Rainbow82]

You are definitely not the only one who has ever started a PGCE and realised that teaching isn't for them, I am not sure how long I will stay in teaching to be honest but I'm glad I finished the course because the second school really was better. Is there anything you like about primary teaching? If you really can't find anything about it you like then it might be worth thinking about what else you might like to do and not continuing tge course because if you really don't think it's for you then it may not be worth the stress of continuing especially as it us so competitive for getting a job and that will be even harder if you specifically want a school offering languages.

Good luck with whichever decision you make.

 

[sarajane]

You are definitely not the only one who has ever started a PGCE and realised that teaching isn't for them, I am not sure how long I will stay in teaching to be honest but I'm glad I finished the course because the second school really was better. Is there anything you like about primary teaching? If you really can't find anything about it you like then it might be worth thinking about what else you might like to do and not continuing tge course because if you really don't think it's for you then it may not be worth the stress of continuing especially as it us so competitive for getting a job and that will be even harder if you specifically want a school offering languages.

Good luck with whichever decision you make.

Thank you for all your advice

I have decided to leave the course, although financially it´s not the best idea, my sanity is worth more. I´m going to call student finance tomorrow as I am a little worried about tuition fees.

Apparently they don´t pay the second portion of tuition fees until February, but I want to leave now in January. According to the documentation from the university if I am SLC funded they should pay fees i owe. But I don´t know if they will if they know I have quit :S

I don´t want to have to find 2k!!



Well thanks again for your help x

 

[Rainbow82]

If it's any help a couple people left my course between January and may and didn't have to find fees or pay money back.