Should I say something!

[terces]

I was talking to a group of friends about my TTC journey. Most of them were supportive. One said that she wasn't going to try and pretend how I feel. She said that she TTC for 8 months and that was hard and couldn't imagine how I must feel after all this time. THEN, another "friend" decided to chime in with. "maybe you just aren't meant to be a mother, I didn't want any kids and I got 3!" OUCH!! I did tell her that I had a hard time believing that God would put in my heart to be a mother and a burning desire for a child if I "wasn't meant to be a mother"

This happened almost a month ago and it has really bothered me ever since. I try to just forgive and forget, but I think about her words and it still hurts. Do I say something or just let it go?

 

[no_regrets_91]

I would honestly just try and let it go. I am sure she didn't mean to offend she just doesn't know what it is like. I had a friend tell me I was making everyone miserable by talking about it. It did bug me for a few days and it still does a little but then I remember that she doesn't get what I am going through and never will and what I said probably made her feel uncomfortable. There is really nothing you can do and saying something may only make things worse. If you are brave you could try to sit down with her and tell her everything about ltttc. she will never understand like we do but she may think twice next time she thinks about complaining.

Sorry I am not much help

 

[Armywife84]

That's when I would've chimed back with, "It's evident you're undeserving of those children" and walked off.

Seriously what an idiot! She didn't even want children then is blessed with 3 because she's meant to be a mother?!! How about it's because she's fertile and wasn't on birth control?

As far as saying something, IMO it's a bit too late. I'd just put some distance in this "friendship". It's not worth it to continue associating with a woman who says insensitive comments when she's clearly aware of your infertility. Pfftt... s and are insensitive enough, we don't need people's comments.

Note: But that's just me, I'm fed up with people's (sometimes smart ass) retorts.

 

[Skoer1360]

I actually agree with both of the above posters.. I would definitely have said something then because that definitely is not at all called for. It's rude an insensitive, it seems like she wasn't even trying to understand but brushed you off as a child.

However: I would try and let it go, but if you can't then have a sitdown with her, don't let her just say things like that to you. Maybe you just made her uncomfortable, but she made you upset. Get her to see it from your side or atleast let her know what she said was uncalled for and hurt you, and it's been bothering you since.

 

[terces]

Thanks ladies I was for sure leaning towards letting it go since she is a VERY negative person and I don't really spend much time with her anymore. She's the same women that when I said that my husband and I were VERY happy together and our marriage had been amazing so far.(We had only been married for 6 months at this point) told me "You just wait it just gets worse" We've been married 15 months now and while that isn't long I am just love him more and more everyday. She also does make comments to her kids. I've more than once heard her make comments to her daughter about her weight.

Again thanks ladies!

 

[MrsCompass]

Friends don't do that. Early this year, I decided to let a 16 year of friendship go. And I'm just as happy without her, if not happier. I realized I was being bullied by her. I'm still friends with another girl who is friends with this bully and i wish she would see how badly she's being treated by this other so called friend.

I want to smack that girl for u! That was very arrogant.

 

[Rigi.kun]

I remember that post... that was really hurtful. If she is a good friend then you may need to talk about it, but if she's not then I'd just steer clear of her.

 

[Mommyagain]

Just because you can make a baby doesnt make you a mama! Over the years I have met and heard of many women popping out babies that didnt take care of their precious gifts as they should. I HATE when another woman gets all self righteous about their ability to make babies....seriously get over yourself!

Ive also had comments about the use of fertility drugs. One person (my MIL) actually asked if it (meaning my baby) was from god? Talk about mad!

At this point I probably wouldnt bring it back up unless they did but I would distance myself from such negativity.

Good luck on your ttc journey. *hugs*